What is that called? I need to get a new one and don’t know what to search for.
You’re looking for a spindle.
They’re in Aisle 6, right between the folds and the mutilates.
Ah ha! A google for “toilet paper spindle” did the trick.
Thanks, ye hoopy froods.
You can buy replacements at any hardware store. Make sure the extended width of the spindle is at least as wide as the distance between the things it sits in… there is a little variation from one product to the next and it’s possible to find a spindle that won’t reach as far as it needs to.
I honestly LOLed at this.
Just don’t wipe your ass with a punchcard.
Just got it. 
look up punchcard.
“Do not spindle, or mutilate” was commonly printed on punchcards.
Got it. I knew the phrase, but didn’t remember where I saw it. I graduated high school in 1976, and we learned Fortran with punch cards.
Does anyone still use Fortran, btw?
Unfortranately.
In what areas (and don’t say benighted ones ;))?
Generally anything involving a lot of numerical computation. Engineering applications, scientific number-crunching, statistics, and the like. A lot of in-house government and financial applications are built in Fortran.
My late brother, a systems analyst, said to me about 20 years ago, “I don’t know what language engineers will be using in 50 years, but I know what it will be called.”
I think it fair to say there is only a passing resemblance between the Fortran of 1961 and the one in use today.
I just came in here to say the spindle in my house is wooden with a spring inside, vintage 1952 model (came with the house). Still using it today. I wonder how many tons of toilet paper it has held?
The warning on punch cards was “Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.” Hence Thudlow Boink’s master stroke about folds & mutilates being sold by the spindles
jz78817 left out the “fold” part.
Better yet, get the kind of fixture that just hangs the toilet paper without the need for a spindle. Much easier to change rolls and no moveable parts.
and, since it’s been 18 posts already…
shouldn’t somebody start our favorite debate about hanging the TP roll over or under
d & r
the likely place most people may have seen it was on the card that you returned in paying a bill (like phone or utility), which was a punch card. during some period of time during automation holed punch cards were used.