Dear celebrities,
Please stop endorsing political candidates. I do not watch you act because I think you vote well, I watch you act because you have big boobs.
Dear nonfunctional ears and the subsequent need to line up interpreters for EVERYTHING,
No love.
- me
GRR!
I have a headache and am not thinking clearly because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Because the boiler made funny obnoxious noises starting at about 4 am. I couldn’t decide if it was someone’s alarm clock, a fire alarm, or something else.
On the plus side, while I will not have heat or hot water for several hours today, they are replacing the boiler, so it shouldn’t make those noises again.
I got two new CDs and I KNOW two of the salesmen are going to come in here and ask if they can make copies JUST to harrass me. (I’ve said NO before for the simple reason that I don’t support piracy. They insist it’s not stealing. I insist they’re idiots) They’re not CDs they’d actually like (Quantum Leap [!SQUEE!] and Nitzer Ebb)
This is nobody’s fault, but it’s still annoying: You post something and everyone goes off on a tangent. GRRR. I posted a Joker pic on the JokerxHarley LJ and, because one person likes his eyes to be purple, and she’s writes really great stuff that I really enjoy, I made his eyes purple. So everyone goes off on a tangent of what color are his eyes, canonically? (She liked it. Actually it seems everyone liked the pic. So, s’all good. Still, annoying)
I also posted the pic on my LJ, and some anomynous douchenozzle came by and said it was crap. Y’know what? Fuck you. Fuck you with Smilex.
Okay, while I have had problems with bus drivers using cell phones whlie driving before, I really don’t approve of the current NYS anti-cell phone laws.
But I have to ask: Just how the fuck can you tell yourself that you’ve got control of your vehicle if you’re talking on a hand-held cell phone, with one hand, while the other hand is out the window of your vehicle with a cigarette? In what fantasyland is this safe and responsible driving?
This is probably the fourth time I’ve mini-ranted about this class. Jesus christ, lady, could you put less energy into your lectures? Your tests are the ones supplied by the textbook company, and you use the slides provided by them, too. It’s clear from your lectures that we’re both looking at them for the first time, and your lecture style is more predictable than a mid-90’s sitcom.
- Read slide word for word.
- Any questions? Comments?
Repeat four or five times, pausing for moronic statements from the peanut gallery (typical comment: “my friend slaps her baby with beef jerky and thats the smartest baby I ever did see”), then pressing on with some stupid anecdote about your precious little daughter.
Fucking hell.
Oh, and I want to take this stupid eyebrow ring out, but I can’t seem to get a good grip of the ball without either poking myself in the eye or ripping at flesh.
Grrr.
Not that this will be news to anyone here, but I swear buying makeup is a good way to get ripped off. It’s now less than three weeks to my wedding day and I’m back to looking for a job, so I went to the make up counter of a local department store to see if I could manage to look better than usual. My skin’s taken to having some nasty reactions to drugstore makeup, so I’m stuck with buying a more expensive brand which doesn’t make my face feel like it’s catching fire. After chatting with the woman at the counter and telling her what I needed, she set to work. The end result’s pretty good, but here’s the damage.
I didn’t need new eye shadow, since the colors she picked are the stock colors I use. I didn’t need foundation or blush because I’m quite happy with the ones I have. I did need new lipstick, and my lips are on the thin side. As I said, I do want to look better than usual, so I wound up buying a lip pencil, lip stick, and something called “lip plumper.” I think it’s some sort of fancy lip gloss, rather than something involving botox. I also bought an eyebrow pencil and a sharpener for it. The woman working on me didn’t say anything about prices, and I, foolishly perhaps, didn’t ask. The total for these five items was $65.00 USD, including $1.00 for the sharpener.
It gets even better. When I got home, I took a look at the boxes and the receipt, trying to figure out what cost what. The boxes don’t have the prices on them and the receipt doesn’t have descriptions, only brand names and the name of the woman who sold me them. If I want to, it looks like I could match the number on the bar code to the number on the receipt and figure out the costs. The money won’t break the bank, but it’s still ridiculous. If I’d bought everything they wanted me to buy, I suspect I’d be out over $100.00. I didn’t ask about prices because I was fairly sure I could afford what I wanted to buy and, if I wasn’t willing to spend that much, I would have had the woman put stuff back, but sheesh! How do women justify spending such ridiculous amounts on this stuff?
Lip plumper irritates your lips, making them plumper (so go the claims - the jury is out if they actually work or not). I’m such a crazy female that I go out of my way to NOT irritate my lips.
The only thing worse than cosmetic claims and prices are cosmetic commercials - “Now with Pro-Vitamin Q10 Co-Enzyme!” They’re just making shit up, you know.
When you call my office and ask to speak to my boss, the best way to get an answer to any inquiries you may have regarding his whereabouts and when he’ll be back, is to fucking identify yourself first, assholes! I don’t just give out every tidbit of information to any Joe Blow who happens to call, since many of you asswipes are sales reps he has no interest in.
I direct this mostly to people who might legitimately have a reason to speak to my boss, or to whom my boss might want to speak. If you don’t tell me who the fuck you are – FIRST – I am NOT going to just give out a bunch of information just because you want to know. If I don’t know who you are, you will be treated like every other telemarketer who pulls this same shit with me.
BE PROFESSIONAL!
Jesus, this is basic phone etiquette 101 that my mother taught me when I was 5 years old. I wasn’t allowed to call anyone without addressing the person answering the phone (Hello, Mrs. So-and-So?), identifying myself (this is Jill), and then asking for the person I wished to speak to (Is Janey there? May I speak with her please?).
So don’t call me up and say:
Caller: “Is Boss’s Name in?”
Me: “No he’s not, may I take a message?”
Caller: “Do you know when he’ll be in?”
Me: “I’m afraid not, but I’m happy to take a message.”
Caller: “Will he be in later today or tomorrow?”
At this point I want to reach through the phone and strangle them.
TELL ME WHO YOU ARE, you might get a more complete answer that way! How hard is this, really?
Fucking hell, indeed. This would piss me off, assuming she’s getting paid for her lectures (probably more than minimum wage). Teaching is not supposed to be unskilled labor. :mad:
The textbook company sent videos, as well. Apparently she missed the part where she’s supposed to be running commentary, because we spent twenty minutes watching little girls play gymnastics. This lady is getting the worst review I can muster.
People who sit on the edge of the aisle in lecture halls with their stuff all akimbo, and then give you the stinkeye when you try to get over them and all their crap to get to the last open seat in the hall.
Those people. Yeah, they need to suck a fart out of my ass.
Thanks for the heads up. My lips started burning shortly after I reapplied the lip plumper, so it’s going back to the store. Interestingly, the box says, “You may feel a mild tingle. See enclosure,” yet the enclosure says nothing about this tingling, nor did the woman who sold it to me. What’s particularly annoying is I’d told her I’d had bad reactions to makeup in the past.
When I call for assistance in trying to fix whateverthefuck is wrong with DishNetwork, please try to… oh… HELP.
I thought I was very clear: TV1 is cycling looking for a satellite signal. TV2 works just fine. They both are off the same box. I have reset the box. I have checked the switches - says there is not any connection to a satellite for TV1 only. Again, TV2 is just dandy. I have disconnected and reconnected all cables to the box as instructed in the manual. Twice. Then checked to make sure everything was tightened. Oh, and the weather is just lovely for Minnesota in the spring.
Okay, so what do you see on your screen? (Read screen that clearly states that it’s looking for a satellite signal)
Is this the only television this is happening on? (No… see above)
What is the weather like? (WOW, this is usually the first question asked! Again, see above)
A whole bunch of other questions asked that I am now repeating myself answering.
Did this solve the problem? No. Wouldn’t I have said something like “Hey! It’s working!” if it solved the problem?
My options are to try more stuff inside with her (although I had to keep asking her to repeat HERSELF as I couldn’t understand much of what she was saying) OR to rout around the side yard at 930pm in 25F temps to check the connections THEN try more stuff with her on the phone OR I can pay the “convenience” fee of $29.99 and have someone come out in the next 3 days.
What about the programs that it’s set to record overnight? I’m so sorry about that ma’am, is there anything else I can assist you with tonight?
I understand they have a if this/then that thing they have to go through. Really, I do. And I don’t mind when they repeat me, in order to confirm what I’m saying. But good gawd. If I say what is on the screen, don’t fucking ask me what’s on the screen.
Did it make your lips plumper? :o <— imagine the lips are all plumped up smiley
Dear Bulgarians,
Stop asking me why I don’t have a Bulgarian boyfriend, and/or when I am going to get a Bulgarian boyfriend. The answer is MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.
Love,
The cranky foreigner
Dear my roomates and my girlfriend’s roomates,
As much as we both enjoy drinking beer and watching movies with all of you 24/7, we do need the occasional alone time to, you know, do other stuff. 
Thanks,
Engineer Dude
P.S. Oh, and since this is the pit. Damn fuck hell bitch ass cunt.
Kyla, tell them that your American boyfriend, Irish fiance, and French girlfriend would all be upset if you got a Bulgarian boyfriend too. 
Damn my crusty contact lenses. First time I read that I saw “The skanky foreigner.”