The most effective gopher death

Antifreeze. Just pour some in a bowl, not down the hole. It works for prairie dogs so I reckon it’ll do the same for other rodents.

Death by beagle. He has killed 4 groundhogs and 10 moles.

Gopher snake, perhaps?

I guess since you are a town dweller a firearm is out of the question. Is is against your local laws to discharge an airgun? Plenty of affordable airguns churn up enough oomph to dispatch the lowly gopher.
My grandfather, who could be rather…dramatic when dealing with lawn n’ garden pests, used to dump wood alchohol into all the entrances of their burrows he could locate. Then he’d give the fumes a chance to spread and light it all off. Mostly they died underground, but once in a while you’d see a flaming gopher come scrambling out. Grandpa’d smoosh them with a shovel.

You could also end up killing someone’s pet this way, though. Traps especially for the gophers are the best bet - and unlikely to cause collateral damage.

Barrow someone acetylene tank and pump into the gopher hole wait a bit and ignite. You get a good thump and a little fire and the burrows should collapse.

Try this

Not sure that’d work. Modern cars produce far fewer toxic emissions than they used to, and with the price of gas these days, you’d probably blow 40 bucks before you even approached lethal levels.

I was the first reply to that thread. I suggested cats, but everyone said I was thinking of gophers instead of groundhogs. What finally was the consensus was big dogs who liked to hunt them, a truck that vacuumed them out (I think that was real), or filling the holes with propane and blasting them.

As for gophers, my dad had pretty good luck with buried traps, but once he had to get out a .22 at the right time of the morning. That finally worked on that one.

As for the exhaust method, find someone with an old beater. That should work, I’m told.

Warning: DO NOT use Antifreeze, Gasoline, Acetylene or any other toxic material. Doing so WILL not only pollute your yard and make future gardening problematic, but if you are caught by the authorities, it may leave you subject to criminal charges and/or liable for a possible (and very expensive) EPA mandated cleanup.

Good lord!
As a child i would be mesmerized AND traumatized at the same time!

Hunting woodchucks

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen so many potential band names in one post.

These are defenatly gophers. I found a dead one on my lawn yesterday. As for the cats, sadly I have two and they seem to not care for the task in the least. Lazy bums.

I wish I had a .22 that I could use on them, but I don’t. Besides, I live across the street from a Sherriff, so shooting off firearms may not be a wise course of action. I will try the traps, I guess. Wish me luck.

Set up a music player a few feet from a gopher hole. Use the player to play the U. of Minnesota fight song, while you stand behind the hole with the weapon of your choice. As the gophers dash out to sing along, dispatch them with your machete, flail, pitchfork, 3-wood, or claw hammer. While the pitchfork is effective, you might miss the second gopher while removing the first writhing animal from a tine. Remember, each tine can kill and hold several gophers while you dispatch additional interlopers. Do not become sentimental at the lamentations of the dying varmints. They are not your friends. Think of the safety of your garden, and stab, stab, stab.

:wink:

This WILL NOT WORK during football season.
well, I suppose they might choke.

Would using a sling-shot be legal?

OK, here’s what works and what doesn’t:

Doesn’t:

  • Flooding the holes with water.
  • Putting noxious gas down the holes or other substances.
  • .22 or .233 or whatever. The critters are underground, losers.

Does:

Maybe:

  • Glass or other cutting substance tilled into soil. Doesn’t hurt, but you’ll never know if it worked.

All else is folklore; you might as well cross yourself and spin three times to make the critters go away.

You are feeding your cats too much. Feed them about 1/2 what is necessary for them to survive and the gophers will be all gone. Never underestimate hunger as a motivating factor.

Charge licensing fees not long after the popularization of a completely free alternative.