The Most Weirdest Children's Show Ever Made

I was looking on inthe00s and found a post by someone that claims they remember a children’s show that aired on PBS back in the 1990s. It was aired on KERA 13. Honestly, I don’t remember any '90s PBS Kids show that aired on KERA 13 except for Katie & Orbie.

This is the post.

"I remember I used to watch KERA 13. There once was this completely drugged-up show that aired for a few months in 1995 before being pulled off the air.

The opening sequence had a group of kids (aged about 10-12) at an arcade. The camera would pan over to one of those old-fashioned shock machines. All of the kids would hold on, with each kid holding hands and the kid at either end would hold on to the bars. So, they’re getting shocked, and then this creepy computer-animated face would appear on the machine and say the following: “DO YOU FEEL THE POWER OF THE LORD?!?!” in an MCP-like voice. The machine would then buzz “ZAPPP!!!” and all of the kids were sent flying through a portal that had opened at the top of the machine. They would land in a colorful world (IIRC, it was a forest). That was the end of the opening sequence.

The show would consist of games, crafts, and songs. Sounds simple enough, huh? Guess what else it had! The show would often have a skit about militia, similar to the “Bill Nye the Militia Guy” thing someone posted earlier on this thread. The children also encouraged that you should do drugs through some song, I vaguely remember the lyrics:

“Drugs, drugs, everyone does drugs! Drugs make your problems go away, so do them toooodaaaay!”

They did a version of “Stranger Danger” saying that you should talk to strangers.

And what was even worse was the “Porno Flick of the Day”. The kids would spin a wheel, and whatever porn movie it landed on would be shown. After the movie, they’d sing a song about it and do a craft related to it.

The kids would also explore the land that they got transported to. It started kid-friendly, until they found mushrooms and one girl had a satchel and she’d collect the mushrooms in it. Then they had a picnic and they ate the mushrooms. A 1-minute drug trip would be shown. They then recovered.

Every episode ended with the kids singing goodbye to the creatures in the land. Then the ending sequence would come on. The kids would all jump into the portal, and they’d fall out of it and land back in the arcade in front of the shock machine. They’d play a few arcade games and then exit the arcade. That was the end of the outro sequence. The credits showed the children skipping down the street, singing happily.
…good God, who in their right mind would even air that on PBS Kids in the daytime? Thank God that it only aired 20 episodes before it got axed. I wonder how many kids were found dead after doing the stunts the children would perform on the show. And trust me, you do NOT want to know what the stunts were.

It sounds more like a parody of a kids’ show, but trust me, this was aired on PBS back in the day. I think the name of the show was “Magic Machine” or “Metal Machine”…I really think it was the latter.

Today, this show would definitely air on Adult Swim. :D"

…Metal Machine? I think that used to come on after Katie & Orbie back in May-June of 1995. I think I watched an episode once. How did they manage to get that past the censors?! It’s like Happy Appy all over again!

Here’s what I remember:
[ul]
[li]It was animated.[/li][li]It was created by Andrew Terzo…or was his name Aaron Terzo? (It’s been a long time. I last saw it in June 1995.)[/li][li]The girl with the satchel was voiced by Tress McNeille.[/li][li]Leslie, the blonde girl with the purple shirt, was voiced by Christine Canavaugh.[/li][li]The voice actors were told it was going to be aired on TBS late at night. The creator drugged the people at PBS and aired all 20 episodes. (How do I know all of this? I saw it on the news back in '95.)[/li][li]The “power of the lord” face in the intro was voiced by David Warner (THE MCP! :slight_smile: )[/li][li]“Strangers Aren’t Danger” is the song about strangers, “Everybody Does Drugs” was the drug song, and “Militia Digestion” was the militia skit. (At the end was either “Militia Indigestion” or “The Last Stage of Militia Digestion”.)[/li][li]The show’s theme song was “The Hardcore Metal Machine” by Alanis Morisette.[/li][/ul]

I am pretty sure we’re dreaming the same thing…

So I guess you’ve never seen teletubbies, huh?

What you are describing could not possibly be a children’s television show. It sounds like most of what you see on public access, though.

Moderator Action

I don’t see a factual question here.

Moving thread from General Questions to the weird television show forum, er, Cafe Society.

Could it be this is some type of warped memory of seeing “Adventures from the Book of Virtues”?

If not, I strongly suspect this thread is an attempt to start some sort of “Candle Cove” type of hoax.

Yeah, this is my theory. (Why not link to the actual story?)

Have you seen In The Night Garden? It makes Teletubbies look like the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.

Oops. Wrong thread.

Could anything have been more trippy than Lidsville?

Doesn’t any discussion of “Weird Childrens Shows” begin and end with Sid and Mary Krofft, specifically H.R. Pufnstuf?

ETA, whoops…

“Most Weirdest.”

My kid loved that … thing.

It was all the wierder by being narrated by Derek Jacobi - whom I always associate in my mind with I. Claudius. :smiley:

I’m skeptical about the show listed in the OP, though I suppose it’s possible as a public-access show.

Among the weirdest shows ever produced by a real production company would have to be Nadia: The Legend of Blue Water. It goes from standard children’s fare to “Oh my god, people are being cooked alive by nuclear radiation and screaming in agony just on the other side of that door!” in a split second, and back.

Good show, actually, if you cut out the most egregious children’s stuff.

I may have been dreaming, but the Book of Virtues came out in 1996…not 1995. Sorry, NDP, but that’s not it.

I thought I was the only person to remember this show…but then I found humaeast (who wrote the post on inthe00s that I quoted). Maybe we’re both dreaming the same thing. Creepy.

humeast also said that “that drugged-up show that I don’t know how managed to get past the censors came on before the Puzzle Place! :O”

…and after Katie & Orbie (which is NOT a Playhouse Disney show in our hearts). Anyone remember that show? It was Canadian.

Is that the one that included, “The Bestest English Student in the World”?

Yeah, you’ve got all these super-specific details. Yet you can’t IMDB, say, Tress MacNeille, (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0534134/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1), to find that she did no such show? And none of the other people you’ve mentioned did anything like this show? And that this is a show you made up, that never happened?

So I WAS dreaming! Phew. I gotta go tell humaeast that I had the same dream.

Have you ever seen you and humaeast together in the same room?

Boohbah

You’re right-with the proper medication, that looks exactly like what the OP describes. Good find!