The motherfucking goatfelchers stole my icechest!

Yesterday I went up to the mountains to a summer camp I work at. I am in charge of maintenance and facilities, so I made the first trip of the season to see if anything had been damaged by heavy snowfall.


3 buildings and a 20’ cargo container were broken into. Locks were cut, door handles smashed off, steel window covers pried out of place and the glass shattered. Thousands of dollars worth of damage.

What did they steal?

In one building they broke into, there was a new 25" color TV, a DVD player, computer and about $5000 worth of portable radio equipment.

It was all still there, right where I left it in November.

The cocksmokers stole my fucking icechest out of the cargo container.
It was a Coleman 5-Day Ice Chest.

It really tied the room together.


Well, that’s just fucking weird!

Sorry to hear about your icechest.

Well, TV sets are heavy. And it’s not as easy to pawn that stuff as it used to be. On the other hand, an ice chest keeps your beer cold. Priorities, man.

I hope insurance covers the damage. What did the police say about it?

Assholes like that ensure a steady market for the security industry.

Broke into three buildings to find and steal an ice chest, in winter :confused:
Was the chest suitable for shipping human hearts or something?

Homeless people who had an encampment in the woods maybe? That does suck, but at least the other stuff is still there. Wish you could make the person who did the damage sweep up every shard of glass though. :mad:

I’m a little curious what is meant by an ice chest. That was what my grandma called the old-ass fridge that she had to get a block of ice to put in it to make it colder.

Is an ice chest a fridge, a cooler, or something else?

Here, Colman Ice Chests. Take a look at that site. Which one did you have CynicalGabe?

It was this one.

There are no homeless people up there. This place is 20 miles from the nearest highway, and an hour’s drive away from anyplace with a population higher than 100.

Bizzare. :frowning: That’s just so, strange.

You better report it stolen. With the description you gave, you sound like you’re in prime Bury-Dead-Body real estate. Try explaining to the cops that you have no idea how that body (Sure, CynicalGabe you never seen her before.) ended up in your cooler (with your fingerprints) buried in the woods near a camp where you work. Unlikely; maybe. But are you willing to take that chance? I really have to stop watching Law & Order/CSI.

Maybe…just maybe…it was the ice chest escaping! Did you see any slime on the broken glass suggestive of mutant bacteria?

Who was it who had that hysterical thread about opening the evil cooler in the garage? (I hope someone will link.)

The glass was broken on a different building. The icechest was inside a locked cargo container like this one . With two medium security padlocks on the outside. One lock was destroyed, the other was bypassed by cutting the hasp. The icechest clearly had outside help. Would that make it an inside job? :dubious:

Clearly, the mutant bacteria oozed through the cargo container openings, then busted the locks to free the ice chest. The fact that the lock looks like it’s been cut is merely a clever ruse to throw you off the path.

Don’t underestimate the power of the mutant bacteria!

Well, it’s a bizarre story to begin with. Is this really that much stranger? :wink:

I think you are looking for the cooler of death

Maybe in the middle of the night the cooler looked like an oddly shaped safe.

Or it could have been a bear you know… it would make sense. The bear leaves all the computer equipment and goes straight for the food storage!

…Or it could have been a Sasquatch!

That is some harsh weather, man. That’s why I’m glad I live in Southern California. Not once has the snow broken my windows or cut off my door handles.

Redrum! Redrum!

Man, that’s a nice cooler. I espescially like this part:

My ice always melts when it gets that hot!


I have an alibi…I’ve been at YetiCon 2005 in Tibet for the winter.

I was thinking of a bear too…after the snow has melted and if/when you find your ice chest torn to shreds not far from your camp, then that pretty much settles it.