The Myron Cope Memorial Steelers March to the Super Bowl Thread

The Game Room
1

Double yoi! Are we into the sixth year already? How time flies.

As you can see by the thread title, I am naming this thread in honor of the greatest football announcer in history. There was never a dull moment listening to Myron, and while he didn’t call any games over the past few years he was sorely missed. Now that he has died I can think of no better honor than to name this year’s thread in memory of him.

Enough with the formalities. It’s football time! Preseason is upon us, and while the games are meaningless and most of the game is played by scrubs with little to no chance of making the team it’s still the game we all love. Of course, the Steelers’ scrubs would start for any other team in the AFC North, so it makes the games slightly more interesting for me.

So, what does fate have in store for my beloved Steelers? As usual, they lost some key players to free agency, and on paper they are not as good as the team that took the field last year, but looks can be deceiving. Hell, it’s not like they have any competition in their division. Now, SenorBeef will find his way in here with his “Cleveland’s offensive line is the best in history!” nonsense, that’s all well and good, but offensive lines never won championships so we can discard that as the misdirection that it is, an attempt to keep people from noticing that the Browns pretty much stink on ice. I predict 7-9 with sound thrashings both home and away at the hands of the Steelers.

The Ravens aren’t even worth mentioning, but I suppose I must or Weirddave might feel neglected, and we can’t have that. They might have a new coach, but they still have the same rotten core that hung a monster 5-11 on the league last year. I expect a similar top notch performance from the Ratbirds this year. If they’re lucky Murderin’ Ray retires in midseason after he realizes that he’s washed up. If not, well, the Ravens go as he goes, and he’s a boat anchor, so down they go.

In Cincinnati we have the ongoing saga of Ocho Cinco and his bad case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. He talks a good game, but this isn’t Madden. He gets knocked silly all season long and does his best T.O. impression by eating away at the team from the inside. They fight with the Ravens for the division basement.

As usual, the media is still finding ways to suck Tom Brady off, even after that embarrassing, Peyton Manning-like choke job in the Super Bowl last year. What does Bellichick have on these guys to make them fellate the Patriots so? God knows he has a whole tape library to pick from. There’s got to be a reason. Anyway, they start slow after the letdown and, although they make the playoffs, they don’t make it back to the Super Bowl, losing in Week 1 of the postseason. The media will call it an upset and continue to suck Brady’s nuts until the Pro Bowl, but I’ve come to expect that, and it gives me something to talk about.

As for the Colts and the Chargers, they are real threats to the dominance of the Steelers this year. If Marvin Harrison can get it together the Colts will do quite well, possibly making it to the AFC Championship Game against the Steelers. The Chargers’ chances rest on the questionable shoulders of LaDainian Tomlinson. I say questionable because he needs to find his heart again after last year’s playoff debacle. If he rediscovers a pulse they’ll be tough. If not, hello second division.

The NFC isn’t even worth talking about. T.O. and Tony’s girlfriend Yoko Romo will fragment the Buttboys, The Eagles will sink like stones after McNabb gets clobbered in Week 2, and the Giants’ fluke season won’t be repeated, even after the departure of Shockey.

So, to sum up, the Steelers will take their 6th Lombardi Trophy in honor of Myron. Sure, they might lose a game or two, every team does, but it will still be a dominating performance under the tutelage of young Mike Tomlin. A ring in his second season? Can it be? Yes, yes it can. The slaughter starts promptly at 1 p.m. on September 7th, when Big Ben shows why he got that big contract by systematically dismantling the Texans at Heinz Field and setting the tone for great things to come.

You can take that to the bank.

Bring it.

2

Here’s hoping! Now I gotta get my Terrible Towel out of storage…

3

I’ve got three words –

Adrian Peterson, bitches.

4

Yeah, the Bears do look pretty tough this year now that Cedric Benson is gone.

5

Resorting to hyperbole already I see. I never said anything of the sort - what I said was totally accurate - that the Pittsburgh line was living off rep and not very good while the Cleveland line would surprise. It ended up being more lopsided than I expected as the Pittsburgh line was near the bottom overall and the Cleveland line was near the top.

You and your yinzer buddy comically denied it all season as it became more painfully obvious… I couldn’t decide if you guys were liars or just didn’t know the first thing about football. Both maybe?

Here’s what’s going to happen this year. Shaun Rogers has a 360 pound big sweaty man sack, and he’s going to tea bag Roethlisberger with it. It doesn’t end there, though. You can’t shrug that off. The aroma is so pungent and penetrating that it’s going to gum up the works on his bionic face and he’ll spiral into a pit of failure for the rest of the year if he doesn’t immediately retire.

6

Another amusing OP from a deluded Steeler fan. What I truly appreciated was the almost complete lack of discussion of, oh let’s see… oh yeah, THE STEELERS. It was, in great measure, just taking pot shots at every other team, as if the Stillers can win it all by default again.

With a really tough schedule, a poor O Line, and having taken a step backwards rather than forwards in the offseason, I think the Steelers will disappoint this year.

7

Of course they can. It didn’t think it needed to be said, it’s self-evident.

I’m not worried.

8

I was going to come in here and smack talk about Buffalo, but…there’s really nothing to say. Trent Edwards, woo!

9

As a University of Delaware fan and a Ravens fan, I’ve got my fingers crossed tight:

Joe Flacco starts against the dreaded Stillers, leads the Ravens to a… oh, 27-10 victory, and is roundly praised as the next Big Ben. Roethlisberger fails to make an impression on the announcers, fans, or football, but makes a nice six-foot-long impression on the turf in each of the five spots he gets sacked. Ravens win! Ravens win!

Look out for Joe Flacco, hon. (Of course if we start Boller against you, you deserve the win).

10

Oh, right. Joe Flacco.

Ha!

(Can he throw for 50 yards from his knees? I’m pretty sure that’s a critical QB asset.)

11

Time to cheer the Bills on in making another attempt to relive glory days. You know, when we actually made it as far as the Super Bowl. Winning it is another thing entirely.

Getting as far as the playoffs this season would be nice, though.

I wonder who is doing coverage over here these days, or should that be nights.

12

So, what can you say about the Steelers’ first preseason game? Not too much. Preseason is pretty much useless. Ben looked good, the defense didn’t look so good, and some of the second-teamers were pretty sharp. I’d say that a win is a win, but it doesn’t matter against the Eagles until week 3.

What sucks is that Charlie Batch broke his collarbone. That has potential to hurt down the road if Ben goes down. But Dennis Dixon looked good, and while he is a rookie that is still somewhat reassuring. The offensive line, in spite of Faneca’s departure, looked pretty strong. Either they’ll be just fine or the Eagles plain suck. I’d say it’s a bit of both.

13

Here’s hoping someone can beat Sean Mahan out at center. Justin Hartwig should be able to do it, but Darnell Stapleton’s name comes up a lot as well. Mahan was brutal last year and it had negative repercussions all along the line as Faneca and Simmons were continually being called upon to bail him out. Look at our centers over the past few decades - Webster, Dawson, Hartings, and Mahan??? It just ain’t right.

14

So, how 'bout them Steelers last night. Sure, they lost, and sure, the secondary was weak all game, and sure, the Bills went through them like crap through a goose, but let’s look on the bright side- at least Hartwig didn’t get busted over and over again for holding…

…oh, wait, he did. What a drive-killer.

There wasn’t much to be optimistic about in that game except for Santonio Holmes burning the Bills’ defender for a big play.

Oh, well. It’s only preseason. They have two more games that don’t matter, hopefully they’ll have everything worked out by then.

15

Word from training camp is Woodley and Timmons are playing like monsters, this looks to be a strong year for the linebacking corps. Of course a lot of their success will depend on whether Casey Hampton can get back to, or near, his playing weight, he’s listed at 325 and he ain’t seen that weight for a few seasons now. We struggled badly last year when he got to fat to move and Aaron Smith hurt his triceps, if these guys can hold up the blockers long enough for the LBs to do their stuff the D will be pretty good.

I’m hoping the offense moves away from the no-huddle stuff they tried last year. Ben can do it but the short series puts too much pressure on the defense - the D-line is aging and they need more recuperation time than they can get with a hurry-up offense in place.

16

I let this go for a few weeks, but since this is the last preseason game it’s time to take some stock. Mendenhall has the drops. They talked all game about how he had to carry the ball with him all week, and every time it got stripped from him he owed $100. The announcers were certain that he wouldn’t fumble today, but guess what he did? You betcha. So Tomlin put him in and left him in until he was sucking wind, giving him the ball on every play. What’s not to like about Tomlin? Not many coaches would do that anymore.

Hartwig, the winner of the competition at center, blew the snap count on a shotgun formation, ultimately costing the Steelers 3 points. How does the center not know the snap count? They need to fix that right away.

Arnold Harrison looks like he’s done for the year. That’s a shame. That dude gets hurt every year, and he was looking good this preseason.

Polamalu played tonight. Pretty nondescript performance, but then again, he wasn’t directly challenged, so that’s not really an indicator of anything.

The offense, especially the backfield, looks solid. Parker, Davis and Mendenhall (less the drops) look to be in good shape. There’s no reason to think that the receiving corps will be lousy, either. The defense, well, we’ll see. They play way too soft on the pass, but they stifle the run. Too bad the league has become pass-happy.

They start with the Texans next Sunday. That shouldn’t be too much of a test, but one never knows with the Steelers. It’s time for the season to start. I can’t wait.

17

Tomlin’s the perfect coach for the team right now. Everyone though he’d come in and switch right away to a 4-3 defense but he was smart enough to keep Lebeau doing his thing - that’s not to say they’ll never go 4-3 but it says a lot about Tomlin’s management skills (and confidence).

I think the key there will be the D-line’s ability to hold up long enough to let the LBs pressure the Quarterback - We already know Silverback can do it, if Woodley and Timmons can draw some extra blockers we may some more int’s this year from the pressure. I’ve noticed Lebeau doesn’t just blitz to get sacks, he does it to force the other team to keep some of the weapons, like Antonio Gates or Todd Heap types, in pass protection - better than having them drag a linebacker out into coverage I think.

18

Us being soft on the pass is nothing new, but then again it’s hard to find any real shutdown corners in the league these days. The real goal is to pressure the quarterback. The Giants proved that last year. If you can get to the quarterback with consistency, you’ll win more games than you’ll lose.

So it’s all on you Casey. Get your cake lovin’ ass on a treadmill.

19

Willie Parker is going to be a stud again this year. Thank God for Mendenhall’s butterfingers.

20

While I’m not much for the Steelers since I live in Baltimore, I do have Rothesberger and Fast Willie Parker in my money fantasy league… and I get to hope Baltimore can win 6 games.