In what way? I don’t understand your thinking.
I hate to even bring this up, but I guess it’s relevant, so I’ll give it a shot. Just for background, I’m a 31 year old black male who grew up in South Central LA but, through schooling and other various means, has always been part of a multicultural environment and now lives in the 'burbs.
It is impossible for me to not draw a distinction between “nigger” and “nigga” – in my mind, those are two very distinct words. I have friends of all races who have used the term “nigga” around me (often while quoting Dave Chappelle; go figure!), and this doesn’t bother me in the least. But I can’t help but flinch when someone says or writes “nigger.” The example quoted above where “You the nigger!” is supposed to be a compliment just makes me want to shout, “No, that’s wrong wrong WRONG!” (and I’m not picking on you personally, henrijohns, just the usage).
I don’t know of a single black person who uses the -er ending with any kind of positive meaning, whereas “nigga” can be a compliment, an insult, or just a generic description of a person. The example that leaps to mind immediately is in a skit on Kanye West’s “College Dropout” album where the character (Cedric the Entertainer?) says, “You know what? You’z a nigga. And I don’t mean that in no nice way!”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the status quo, but I wanted to be somewhat clear about what the status quo actually is.
Am I alone in drawing this distinction?
It shouldn’t matter who uses it, it should matter what is being communicated by its use. I can insult you without using any censored words if I want to, and I could compliment you using words that I am not supposed to use. It only matters whehter or not I want to be mean. Meanness isn’t going to be covered up by eliminating words from people’s vocabulary.
To me, both Nigger and Faggot are derogatory yes, but though I am neither of those things, I use them in a specific context. They are sort of the analog to white trash of those cultures, at least in my mind. I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone either to their face.
The worst sort of discrimination of that sort I ever indulged in was when this guy, a young aspiring drag queen who always repulsed me for some reason, came up to me and told me I was beautiful. I told him, “You fucking disgust me.”, which was the truth. I watched it level him right before my eyes, and was probably one in a long chain of abuses this young man had endured. I have seen him since, and he’s only gone downhill. I didn’t have to use the word faggot, and I am relatively certain that what I said stayed with him. I tried to apologize because I felt bad for being so mean, which was heartfelt, I did feel he did not deserve my enmity, but as I meant what I said when I said it, there wasn’t really any way to take it back. The word ‘faggot’ was written all over what I said, but I didn’t have to utter it. I have been hit on by many men before and since, who did not please me, and I generally just thanked them for their compliment and moved on. Some of those men’s attention I enjoyed and others repulsed me. I don’t know why I chose to lay it on this one fellow, who wasn’t such a bad guy looking back on it. (I am male btw)
I think that culture proscriptions against the usage of certain words are a ridiculous method of social control. They serve no real purpose as one can twist the language to suit their needs regardless of how it is socially acceptable to put it. All they do is give us the ability to use a word that starts out as exceptionally vile. In that way, their being inappropriate serves the purposes of the person who wishes to be cruel.
Unfortunately, no. And I, at least, have heard blacks from areas with dialects that don’t include dropped "r"s properly enunciate “nigger”.
I remember when black men and women called each other brother and sister, not they call each other nigga and ho. Maybe its just a black thing but from a third party perspective calling each other brother and sister seemed to indicate more solidarity and self respect.
This is not, in fact, correct. There is no religious taboo against fuck, cunt, prick, shit, turd, kike, Polack, slope, beaner, wop, or a dozen or a hundred other words. (And if one studies the languages in other countries, one discovers that the variety of words that have fallen under taboo are often quite different than the words chosen in English.) Nearly all societies have taboo words, but the religious element in selecting words that will incur taboo is coincidental, at best. It is true that English had a long tradition of putting religious terms under taboo–hence the previous restrictions against cursing and profanity–and a few languages (Spanish, for example), have religious taboos on language, today–however, cultural taboos on language simply do not have religious origins, as a rule.
Well, it’s not as if some people don’t still use those terms, and that one person can use all of those terms as well.
All language exists in context. It is entirely appropriate for you to respond according to the context of what was said, regardless of the color of the person who used a given word. Such context reasonably includes the background culture and population when the word “nigger” is used.
I might, for instance, call a physician colleague an “idiot.” Only in context would you know if I were calling her stupid or simply joking with her about an oddball idea unrelated to intelligence (or any of a number of other interpretations). On the other hand, it would always be socially unreasonable for me to call a mentally handicapped individual an idiot.
I think the word nigger is similar…it is never OK for someone who is not black to use the term as a label for someone who is black, and someone who is black should be careful that a benign context is going to be interpreted as such before they fling around the term.
Having said that, I am disappointed at how much brouhaha there is around the word nigger. I think it weaponizes the word and elevates it to a strength it would not otherwise have. I’d like to see a greater emphasis on teaching everyone insensitivity rather than trying to teach boors to be sensitive. At some point emphasizing how hurtful and naughty words can be simply defines those hurt by them as weak and powerless, requiring society’s help to police them from bullies.
It’s one thing if a truly personal hurtful thing is said to me by someone with whom I have a relationship, and about whose opinion I care. It’s quite another if someone I do not know and about whose opinion I do not care uses a “banned” word. His problem; not mine. If I let it go like water off a duck’s back, his effort at using a word as a weapon fails, and the word loses its power to hurt. If I get all shaky and snooty and lectury about it, the word retains its weaponization. Which is the more powerful response? Which response reflects strength on my part?