We are going to be doing this soon, so here’s a good place to put stuff you think needs to be there.
For those of you that haven’t read it lately (such as it is), please click the FAQ icon in the upper right hand corner of any SDMB page.
Thanks, let’s get this rolling.
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
Sir
The fine art of using the search function, especially entire message vs. subject only, and any date vs. last 5 days.
A list of commonly-used acronoyms. I’ll take a WAG and say that IMHO that’ll cut down on a lot of repeat postings asking “what’s DNFTT mean?”
How to link to a specific post. Cripes, even I still don’t know how to do that one.
“Why doesn’t the members function work?”
Links to the various SD People Pages. People are always mentioning 'em, but rarely link to it unless some hapless newbie wanders by to ask what the heck they’re talking about.
A. An explanation of #straightdope, how to get there, and a statement in clear, concise language that it is in no way affiliated with the Chicago Reader.
B. An explanation of who the Chicago Reader is and what this board’s relationship with them is.
C. An explanation of the difference between a Moderator and an Administrator.
D. An explanation of what a Guest is, and why that title only exists in older threads.
E. An inkling of how postcounts and signatures work around here (ie: “Why is the postcount on my first post 12?” “Why did my signature change on all my posts?”) if it is not adequately explained in the current FAQ.
F. A ‘policy statement’ on why we can’t always give people all the features or modifications they want, even if such a feature or modification would be a great idea.
(Yep, I just got us to 16[sub]10[/sub] possible additions to the FAQ. Yep, I just used hexadecimal (base-16) notation. Yep, I know the binary (base-2) notation for all hex numbers off the top of my head. All I can say is, I’m sorry. The nerdness is strong in this one. :D)
'course, you really shoulda used 0x0A notation. Don’t wanna be ambiguous, y’know. 
L) An expanded explanation of each of the forums, beyond what is available in the blurb underneath the forum title. It took me a few days when I was a raw newbie to figure out that General Questions was not a place for unsubstantiated facts, opinion discussions, or joke posts that do not relate to the OP. (Well, it’s not supposed to be, anyway.) And the distinction between IMHO and MPSIMS is a fine line sometimes.
M) Possible acronyms for the file (some mentioned already): DNFTT, IANAL, WAG, OP, wow, I thought I was going to have a lot more of these. Oh well.
N) [deleted because I just realized someone else already pointed it out but I don’t feel like re-lettering]
O) A pointer to the smiley page: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=showsmilies
P) A pointer to the SD People Pages:
http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/ (I know someone already pointed this out, but I am helpfully providing a link! So there.)
Q) An explanation of the mandate of the board (fighting ignorance) might be nice, especially for those newbies who have not yet been introduced to He Who Is Cecil.
R) Tell people that once you have clicked Submit, you have Submitted, even if you don’t get the page that says “Your post went through”, and that before hitting Submit again, you should reload the page to check and see if your post is there, thus preventing an accidental duplicate post.
S) Why some people bold other users’ names in posts, and how to do it.
T) Origin of the term “sock”. (Yeah, it’s negative, but it’s going to come up and people are going to wonder what the hell it means, and then they’re going to ask, so might as well put it in the FAQ.)
U) Threads you should not bother posting. Example: Anything to do with “all your base belong to us”.
OK, I’m all out of ideas. My head hurts now.
V) To expand on this, a better FAQ for the vB codes
I was almost ready to start one myself, haha.
All good suggestions so far, but I’d like to add:
i: the fact that there are books, why they should read them and how to buy them. (And that they make great gifts!)
ii: maybe a brief history of the AOL days and the A&E show
iii: the complete guide to “felch” and “felching”
I. Manhattan’s Moderator’s Notes: On General Questions, and the useful research links posted by Alphagene and others in that thread
II. That sometimes the past should stay in the past, so when curious about old trolls and other unpleasant board history, searching the archives or e-mailing a moderator is preferred over asking about it on the board.
III. “Gry” and why people are often annoyed if you ask about it.
Why people’s post count changes whenever they make a post.
How to get special characters.
How to search.
Why HTML is turned off.
Things people have suggested that aren’t going to happen, now matter how nice you ask.
How to quote properly.
The importance placed on being able to cite sources.
Why an ampersand or angle bracket placed next to a closing parenthesis makes a smiley.
Why the mods don’t like to have to move posts in the wrong forum, and sometimes just close them.
A complete list of the people who care whether or not Manhattan moved your thread to IMHO when he once didn’t move a vaguely similar thread.
An explanation of why signatures change retroactively.
Instructions on what to do if you don’t like it when people are mean to you in a Pit thread you started.
A reiteration of the fact that this message board is not at all bound by the First Ammendment.
Copyright violations and fair use.
Advice on how to break the law.
Yes, that includes laws that you don’t like, like the ones about drugs or mp3s.
Further clarification on the exact number of registered names allowed per user, carried out to the 15th decimal place, with a complete list of circumstances where more may be allowed.
Why the board is down for maintenance every night at 4:30 AM EST.
Why the board is really slow in the middle of the day.
The importance of thread titles that are descriptive.
The evil that is crossposting.
Why repeatedly bumping a thread is bad.
What “bump” means ayways.
The amount of patience the administration has for even the most delicately worded threats to the message board.
Shameless begging and pleading for chocolate.
That’s all I can think of at the moment. If you want some help with writing answers, I’d be willing to expound at length about anything.
V. What “Threadspotting” is and where it’s located. (Yeah, I know it’s on the main SD page, but it took me a while to notice it was there. I couldn’t possibly be the only one this happened to. Right?)
VI. That previewing is good, and that you should always preview your posts before submitting them.
VII. If starting a thread in a Comments forum, you should provide a link to the appropriate column, so everyone will know what you’re talking about, and you’ll save Arnold from having to post that paragraph yet another time.
VIII. All about closed threads, including that the OP can ask for their thread to be closed.
A link to my “Enterprise vs. Star Destroyer” thread.
A Search in ATMB under “FAQ” for Any Date turned up 92 threads in which someone probably said, irritably, “This really ought to be in the FAQ.”
#1 topic–anything to do with vB codes, especially posting links, bolding, quotes, quotes within quotes, Reply with Quote, how to get tiny print. It all ought to be in the FAQ, right out in front of God and everybody.
What does “banned” mean?
What’s a “troll”?
What’s a “sock puppet”?
What should I do if I think I’ve spotted a sock puppet (a banned poster returning under another user name, or someone with multiple user names)?
Explanation of cookies.
Logging in and logging off.
Can two people post from the same computer?
Why [img] code and HTML are turned off.
Using smilies from other websites.
Why aren’t there more smilies?
How do you become a moderator?
Who is Cecil Adams?
What’s the Chicago Reader?
The history of the Straight Dope Message Board.
Why do some older threads have posters listed as “Guest” or “N/A”?
Why do some older threads have gonzo coding, all that “VERDANA BLOCK QUOTE” stuff?
Straight Dope People Pages.
Straight Dope chat.
Acronyms.
Copyright “fair use” policy.
Why was my thread locked?
Deleted threads.
Why did my post count go down?
Why doesn’t the Members list work?
An explanation of the Search function, including hints.
Guidelines for user names (since Search won’t look for names with fewer than 3 characters).
Where are the missing forums?
Why can’t I edit my own post?
How to turn E-mail notification on and off.
How you have to make sure to recheck Show Sig after you Preview and before you Submit or else your sig won’t show.
V[sub]2[/sub]. How to make suggestions for Threadspotting and Weird Earl’s.
What it now appears that we need is a Faq for the Faq.
I think the FAQ should really include examples of appropriate posts for each forum:
About This Message Board
…ex…How do I add a quote by my bartender to my signature?
Comments on Cecil’s Columns
…ex…Cecil’s recent column on the fluid-dynamics of Guinness Stout CO2 bubbles is the finest column that has ever been written.
Comments on Staff Reports
…ex…Gaudere’s report on light beer unfairly pokes fun at this product. But not enough.
General Questions
…ex…How is ale different from beer?
Great Debates
…ex…In the Bible, God clearly encourages us to consume alcohol: yes or no?
In My Humble Opinion
…ex…10 reasons why Pete’s Wicked Ale is overrated…
MPSIMS
…ex…Duuuuudes, I ma sooooo drukn write now!!?
The BBQ Pit
…ex…Dammit, Borborygmi, nobody wants to read about your damn alcohol problem!
Okay, obviously there are better examples than this. But I’m sincere in the suggestion.
search also won’t find user names that start with a number vs. a letter (I haven’t tried punctuation or any other variable - ok, so sue me)
A couple of sig ettiquette hints would be helpful, too.
o How long should my sig be? Can it just be as long as I want?
Technically, it can be XXX characters long. But be considerate. Don’t make your sig longer than your post.
o How often should I display my sig with my post?
Out of consideration for the other members, you probably shouldn’t display the sig every single time you post. The common rule of thumb is to show your sig maybe once or twice in any particular thread. Exception: If the thread is a long thread that’s been active for months, it would be perfectly acceptable to include your sig a few times - as long as your posts weren’t, say, near each other. You want to spread them out.
o What should go in my sig? Any restrictions?
What goes in your sig is your decision alone; it can be an extension of your personality and reveal more about yourself than any individual post would. But do not include overtly obscene, insulting, or illegal things in your sig. Use the same common sense for your sig as you do for your posts. Moderators can ask you to change your sig if they believe it’s offensive or inappropriate in any way.