The New Bill of Rights

[pepperlandgirl]

I got this FWD today. Read, discuss! =)

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye
from Georgia.
'We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to
help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great- grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, deluded, and other mentally weak folk. We hold these truths to be
self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV orany other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
> > ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
> > ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
> > ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

> ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

> > ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
> >
> > ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
> >
> > ARTICLE VIII:
You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

From the email it appears there are more, but they got cut off somehow.

[SuaSponte]

My only gripes with the Bill of No Rights are with Art. VI - I’m still waffling on the death penalty, and Art. VIII - too broadly written. Some things are worth fighting for.

V.

[pepperlandgirl]

I have a problem with Amend VI too. But oh well, I don’t want to turn this into a debate

[Saint_Zero]

i’d imagine you can quibble about the electric chair thing. The overall point (besides the fact that this is a joke) is that don’t be surprised if we want to lock you in a small cell for a very long time, if not employ emotionally charged, morally debateable, but ultmately lethal means of ending your fun.

Over all, I love that one. Have to save it next time I get it.

PS: It’s a joke. Don’t turn it into a death penatly debate.

[pepperlandgirl]

I know Zero, that’s why it’s here and not GD