I think I would respond with a sarcastic “Thanks for your valuable input.”
Yep, that’s the one I’m going to be codslapping people for. Them, and the rest of the people who can’t get it into their thick skulls that there’s a difference between Judaism and Jewishness.
Apparently being Asian makes it okay. No one would say something like that to a black person, for example. “Oh, yeah, I know some black people.” :dubious:
It’s like people of any minority are supposed to automatically know each other and be more or less alike. :rolleyes: Like we have some kind of giant network with a phone directory and a newsletter.
With a 5lb long-haired chihuahua, I got so many idiotic questions/comments when we used to live in-town and walked him, it wasn’t even funny. I think the one that always made me laugh, though, was “does he bite?” My answer was always “well, yeh, if you deserve it.” That was enough to keep stupid kids away (stupid adults, too). My chi is a very well-trained, well-socialised, non-obnoxious chihuahua. He is not the typical old lady lapdog that most people think of when they think of chihuahuas. He is only hyper until he figures out that you’re good people, then he is content to show off all his tricks – of which he has many.
When my daughter was still a babe-in-arms, I swore the next person to say “oh, your little boy is so adorable” was going to get fish-slapped. Why? Because my “little boy” was obviously a little girl – as was indicated by all the pink, lacy, frilly dresses that I put on her. “oh, what a cute baby, is it a girl?” was only marginally annoying, and yes, I did once respond with “why, no, actually, it’s a boy, but I really want him to be gay when he is older, so I am training him now to wear dresses and hair accessories.”
I nearly did slap someone yesterday, and I would have used a cod if one was handy. It was in church, no less.
You see, three months ago, my fiance’s building was completely destroyed by a fire. By “destroyed”, I mean the walls are standing, but the interior’s structurally unsound, and I’d say he lost 75% to 80% of what he owned. No tenants have been allowed in the building since the fire. They started tearing the building down on Saturday. On Sunday, I told a fellow choir member that they were tearing down his building. She replied, “Oh, they got everything out then?” Alas, even liberal Episcopal churches frown on disemboweling people. Instead, I explained to her that we’d recovered very little and would not be able to recover anything more.
Oh, yes. If anyone compliments me on how strong we’ve been or how well we’ve dealt with this, I may need to borrow the cod. We’ve been strong because we really haven’t had much choice. A few, "Oh, poor baby"s would go down all right, though. That or a chance to walk the corgis, border collies, or pugs. I’m a soft touch when it comes to them.
The next stranger who says ____ to me will be slapped with a cod
A whole cod, or only a piece of cod? Being hit with a codpiece would be embarrassing.
Mine happens on occasions when people see my our last name, such as when registering for school or at the doctor’s office. "She sure doesn’t look like a (insert our Spanish last name here)!
Yes. My kids are blonde. We have a Spanish last name. It may be someone unusual, but certainly not unheard of. I never know what to say to people…“well, it IS our last name…I’m sorry if we don’t live up to your preconceived notions.”
The weirdest thing I was asked was in my daughter’s intake interview for preschool. I’m not Spanish, and don’t speak a lick of it or any other language except for English (for that matter, neither does my husband…although his father was bilingual, my husband’s Spanish skills are rudimentary at best). I have no discernable accent other than north-side Chicago. And yet, the preschool director asked me if my daughter would need and ESL classroom in school. 
Ah, another variant of the infamous You Too phenomenon.
Ah, a 2000s style “You Too”.
Oddly, the only place I ever got this sort of thing was in Chicago, too. I don’t know what it is about that city, but I’m glad I don’t live there any more.
Her legs are so short her belly drags on the floor. That is gonna get comments.
Sounds like you need some time in the puppy room. Yes, a medium-sized room with about 10 puppies all rolling around and playing in it. That should help lift your spirits, at least temporarily.
be served at Christmas dinner.
Just to see their reaction.
Assault with a cod??
Somebody call a carp!!!
Eh, Chicago’s a great city, but it is a city where there still is a lot of personal identity placed in ethnicity/nationality. Even the “ethnics” (forgive my use of the word) seem to be just as curious as to other people’s backgrounds, and I would argue moreso.
If you’re black and live in an area with a small minority population, you’ll sometimes get things like “Do you know Tyrone?, He’s a real nice guy.” Of course they’ll often be shocked if you *don’t * know Tyrone, because how can you not? You’re black, and he’s black and you live in the same area, so you’ve got to be cousins, or at least go to the same monthly Black People Meetings right?
Another one- You look so young!* This probably wouldn’t come up if I just looked a few years younger, but I been told I look about fourteen.
*Well the initial comment is fine, but some people just won’t let it go at that, and they all make the same comments/jokes.
“So, what ARE you, anyway?”
Fucking human, last I checked.
I swear I came into this thread to post this, based on the title alone. I didn’t realize it was going to turn into a “stop insulting my doggy” thread…
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“She’s showing her age” What? She’s five! She has had white hair since she was born! I saw her dad and he was blindingly light! Her muzzle and her feathers are white, yes. That is why she’s so goddamn beautiful!
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“She’s five? Oh…” What, do you think she’s going to die in a coupla years? She’s not a goddamn great dane! We put a lot of time, money and energy into making sure she’s as healthy as can be. Is five the throw-away age for most dogs? I’ll see you at the dog park in 5 years, buddy, even if I’ve got her in a back pack all C3PO-style.
“Job” has a slang meaning here which refers to what comes out of a dog’s rear end; had me wondering for a bit just why some nut would be so fascinated and informative about a stranger’s dog’s number twos – and that a slap with a cod would probably be a merciful act in such circumstance.
As it is, folk shouldn’t be so nosey about a dog’s employment status. Can’t they have a little privacy?
I’m actually shocked at how many members of certain close-knit communities do know each other. For example, if you find out my parents are Poles from the Southwest Side of Chicago, it wouldn’t be offensive at all to ask whether they know so-and-so, who is Polish from the same side of town. There’s a decent chance they do know that person. When I meet Indian clients for business, it shocks me at how many do know some of my past clients, even though they were not referred to me by the Indian community. I personally would never bring a question like that up in conversation, because it’s been drilled into me that some people may consider it offensive, but I wouldn’t assume any ill or prejudiced intent behind the question alone.