The next stranger who stops me while I’m walking Scout and says “you know, border collies need jobs to be happy” will be summarily slapped with a cold, wet fish.
Jeez, do you think that’s why I’m out walking her and she goes to herding school and dog school and is doing agility training?
This actually happens often? I know people can be strange about dogs, but sheesh…
I would say that 90% of the time I’m out in public with Scout, someone makes a comment. I think it’s the one piece of information most people have about border collies and they try to seem knowledgeable (probably gleamed from the *Babe * movies).
Borders doing agility rock, but I like the more straightforward flyball… Borders are zooming over the hurdles like ground hugging cruise missiles.
And after you slap them with a cod, remind them that most any member of the canine family is happier if they actually have a job. What the best job is depends on the breed, but a dog needs purpose.
Scout isn’t as good at flyball as I had hoped. I think she might need glasses 
Exactly . . . all dogs need purpose, and I get tired to people implying that as a doggie owner I wouldn’t know this.
So, a mini-rant, but it’s starting to get on my nerves!
Well, of course there’s always the standard “have a nice day.” I detest being told, in a completely disingenuous tone to “have a nice day.”
Also, about once a month on average, I’ll say hello to a store clerk and he or she will respond with “Not bad. You?” :smack:
The next stranger that tells me that my 21 month old daughter is “so tiny” is going to be told their 12 year old chubby daughter is “so heavy”! I always feel like I have to explain the reason she’s tiny, which is a longish story that’s none of their business.
The next co-worker that tells me “See you next year! Hyuck, hyuck!” is getting a pointy-heeled boot to the crotch. That shit stopped being funny in 5th grade.
I can relate. I have a corgi, and during walks strangers like to stop me to tell me that Queen Elizabeth also has corgis.
If they don’t know what kind of dog she is, they will ask me if her legs are supposed to be that short or if something happened to her. Once I told a guy who asked why her legs were so short that it was the result of a tragic farm accident, but I preferred not to talk about it.
Obligatory Christmas morning photo:
You do know that to be happy, your border collie needs a job.
Oh, and why are you carrying a large wet fish over your shoulder?
My border collie works on a fishing boat 
Awesome. There’s an English Sheepdog I walk on weekends, and I get the ever popular, “Why is he shorter/fatter than my dog?” all the damn time. At one point, I had to explain I was bulking him up to train for a reality show, but it was all very hush-hush.
Stranger: So, where are you from?
Me: I live on the north side.
Stranger: :: laughs :: No, I meant, where are you from? Like, ethnically?
Me: I was born in Korea, if that’s what you’re asking.
Stranger: Cool. :: pause :: I used to date a Korean girl. / I knew some Korean kids in high school. / They say Korean women are hot in bed.
Me: :: slaps stranger with wet trout ::
Wow. I used to think strangers said some bizarre things to me, but apparently I’ve actually been living a sheltered life.
Oh yeah - same with “what’s your ethnic background?”
“I’m half mixed European and half Jewish”
(excited person replies with) “Ah - but WHICH half is Jewish?”
“My Dad”
(even more excited) ah HA! So you’re not REALLY Jewish! er, why are you swinging that fish at me?
I have been told on numerous occasions “Do/Did you know tha you’re fat?” smack By adults. My sister says she has had the same experience and we agree that a fish just isn’t good enough for this perticular gem.
Really? Who could ask this?
I may try that one next. She is trying out for “Who Wants to be Queen Elizabeth’s Next Corgi?”
I also find it so odd that people who first mention that they have never seen a dog like mine, will then go on to tell me she is overweight. If you have never even heard of or seen a corgi, how would you know what she is supposed to look like?
“Your dog sure hasn’t missed any meals has she? Hahahaha!”
“Your dog wouldn’t look so short if she lost a few pounds, have you thought about putting her on a diet?”
“Bet you have to time your walks here for right after they mow the grass so her stomach doesn’t drag on the ground, hahahaha.”
And then there are always the people who like to greet her as we walk by:
“Hey there Shortstuff.”
“How you doin’ Stubby?”
“You must have been last in line when they handed out the legs.”
Thanks. I need to go stock up at the fishmongers!
Example 1
“And what do you do?”
“Im a mom, I like to read and downhill ski”
“But what do you DO, like for a living…?”
“I am employed as a nurse…”
“At the new hospital?”
“No, I work at (other health facility)”
“Huh , I thought they closed a few years ago.”
“No, they’ve downsized but still have three floors open.”
“Im sure someone told me they are closed. All the patients moved to the new hospital or to group homes. Are you sure you work there?”
Okay, you’re right. I just pretend I go there, pretend I have a job, pretend to pay my mortgage, feed my son, pay for the cost of life. Im on welfare, actually and just pretending to work somewhere.
OR
I get asked to diagnose a rash. Sometimes its on portions of the body that are normally covered up in public. First of all, I am a nurse, not a dermatologist. I might (or might not) have an idea what it is, but legally I can’t tell you any treatment for it, and I certainly can’t write a prescription. Legally, can’t tell you to take a Tylenol for a headache, thats prescribing wtihout a license. Second of all, Im your neighbour, or friend, or niece, or your wifes sister’s friend. Im not interested in looking at your skin condition! Really. I’d much rather talk about the news, or skiing, or anything else…
I used to own pugs. Here are my “pet” peeve remarks:
I know he meant well, but I really could have cod-slapped a co-worker who asked what he should get his brother for a graduation gift. Since I’m gay and his brother is also gay of course I would know what he would like.