The NHL season has sort of started, but it really kicks into gear tonight. Who’s going to do what?
Here are my shameless predictions. I’m not going to try to rank all the teams 1 through 15 for each conference, so I’m breaking them into three groups: Certain to make the playoffs, Maybe will make the playoffs, and No Chance In Hell of making the playoffs:
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Certain:
Ottawa Senators. The loss of Comrie and Scheafer will be easily absorbed, and the team is otherwise solid through and through. Top to bottom easily the best team in the East. Could compile 115 points.
New York Rangers. Added considerable talent to an already solid team; I like them to edge out Pittsburgh in the Patrick, I mean Atlantic, Division.
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Pittsburgh Penguins.** About as much raw talent as any team in hockey; they may slip a bit at times, a normal occurrence after a breakthrough year, but no team with this much talent can be bad.
Tampa Bay Lightning. This is my off the wall upper prediction; I like the Lightning’s array of talent and I think they underacheived last year.
Buffalo Sabres. They’ll decline, but not as much as people think. Still a talented and extremely well coached team. Manny Fernandez is going to hate Boston.
Maybe:
Carolina Hurricanes. A lot of talent, but a lot of holes. Could finish anywhere from 3rd to 11th.
New Jersey Devils. A really bad offense was carried to the playoffs by Marty Brodeur, and there’s not a lot of reason to think they’ll score more goals this year. They were a bit lucky to win as many games as they did last year and look very weak outside the pipes.
Florida Panthers. Significant offseason improvement here.
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Philadelphia Flyers.** Some analysts are placing them as high as 5th, which I think is insane; I don’t think people remember how bad they were last year. They’ve added a lot, so they COULD make it, but you’ll notice they’re ranked ninth here.
Montreal Canadiens. Just missed last year and the loss of Sheldon Souray will more or less perfectly offset the growth of their young talent.
No Chance In Hell:
**Toronto Maple Leafs. ** Might be at the lower end of the “Maybe” scale, but the possibility of a total disaster here is very real. Mats Sundin’s disappearing act in the last quarter of 06-07 and a bad preseason do not bode well. Actually, they should probably be in Maybe, but I like the symmetry of three five-team groups.
Washington Capitals. Basically they’re the Pittsburgh Penguins about 2-3 years behind; a few talented peices, but not enugh to complete the entire puzzle. The challenge is, can they field a competitive squad before Ovechkin gets sick of losing and wants to leave?
Atlanta Thrashers. I may be ranking these guys low but they lost a lot, and there’s not a lot of reason to think any portion of the team will improve.
New York Islanders. That run to make the playoffs was fun. I hope they have long memories on Long Island.
Boston Bruins. A proud franchise brought to ruin by shitty, cheap, stupid ownership.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Certain:
Detroit Red Wings. It’s so boring to keep picking these guys, but man, look at the talent. The only question is whether 89-year-old Dominik Hasek will hold up, but I’m confident they’d make the playoffs even if he died and went to Heaven, where he will sit at the right hand of Georges Vezina, who he once backed up.
San Jose Sharks. The Sharks are what the Red Wings were in about 1994, or where the Senators were before at least MAKING the Finals last year; it seems like people have been picking them to win it all since Hasek was backing up Vezina, and they never get it done. Still, I don’t see any holes here.
**Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks. ** Losing Dustin Penner is a bummer, but it won’t hurt Anaheim much. I’d more more concerned about a Teemu Selanne age/injury collapse. Still a huge, talented team.
**Calgary Flames. ** A popular preseason pick, and I admit the talent and youth here is really impressive. Jarome Iginla must get off to a better start.
**Colorado Avalanche. ** Ryan Smyth a great acquisition here. Joe Sakic played in front of Hasek when he was backing up Vezina (Chris Chelios was on that team too) and he still scores like Wilt Chamberlain. (This Wilt Chamberlain reference can be taken in one of two ways.)
Maybe:
Dallas Stars. I’m underranking these guys, probably, but it’s a tough conference at the top and they could play well and still finish ninth.
Minnesota Wild. An extremely cariable team; could win the division, could finish 11th, so I more or less split the difference. Certainly will, once again, finish in first place in the “Ugly Uniform Cup” race.
Vancouver Canucks. I looked it up in the Guinness Book of World Records, and I could not find any record of a man standing on his head for two whole years. Since that is what Roberto Luongo, the Marty Brodeur of the West, would have to do to win another division title, I’m betting against the Nucks. If he DOES do it, they should replace that hideous killer whale logo with just a picture of Roberto Luongo.
Los Angeles Kings. Widely considered to be a better bet for 2008-2009, but I kind of like them.
Columbus Blue Jackets. Could go from 6th to 13th, but I’m putting a lot of faith in Ken Hitchcock to keep them at least reasonably competitive. Might get more out of Rick Nash, The Worst Goal-Scoring Leader Ever.
No Way In Hell:
Chicago Blackhawks. Finally turning the ship around; they last made the playoffs when Sakic and Chelios were playing with Vezina and Hasek. Not this year.
St. Louis Blues. Andy Murray was the best midseason coaching addition in recent memory, but I think they’re not quite good enough all the same. Like the B-Hawks, they have legitimate talent but are a year or two away. I don’t really place a lot of faith in Paul Kariya.
Nashville Predators. Or Kansas City, or whatever. Failing to make the move that WOULD have saved the franchise (that is, moving to southern Ontario) they instead sold off half the veteran talent, thereby guaranteeing that the fourteen people who showed up every game last year is now down to eleven.
Phoenix Coyotes. Wayne Gretzky is my personal saviour and the greatest Canadian who ever lived, but at some point he has to be held responsible for the ongoing train wreck that is this ridiculous franchise. No forward talent here whatsoever after Shane Doan, who cannot actually play center and both wings at the same time, although I’m sure he’d try.
Edmonton Oilers. What you saw the last six weeks of 06-07 could very well be what you see for the next season. Looking at the schedule, I don’t see sixty points.