(Note: I allude to Augusten Burroughs’ of that title and the movie that was based on it, but this isn’t really a Cafe Society question. I also doubt that there is a definitive factual answer, so I don’t believe it belongs in GQ either. )
Years ago I saw the movie Running With Scissors, and some time later I came across the memoir and read that. I’ve started rereading it and apparently have forgotten how damn funny it is. I mean, the Finches, like wow, man. It’s astonishing that all this is more or less true.
I don’t remember if it was in the movie, but early on in the book he tells us that, as, a kid, one of his dream jobs was to be an airline flight attendant. And right away, with that, I “know” that he’s gay. Granted, there are a few other clues in that chapter, but the flight attendant thing is the clincher. And I’m aware of this notion about male flight attendants, which could probably extend generally to male airline employees who serve the passengers directly, whether in-flight or in the terminal. But it doesn’t make any sense to me. There are a lot of men who work as waiters, baristas, store clerks, and other jobs where they serve the customer directly. They do the same sorts of tasks that airline workers do, but without being presumed to be gay.
This is probably one of those things there just isn’t any rational explanation for, but I can’t help wondering. How did this idea get started?
At a guess, it’s based on the fact that it was traditionally a female job, and any man who does something traditionally feminine is suspected of being gay by some people.
I’ve been on about a dozen and a half flights in my life, and only two of those I recall there being male flight attendants. I can’t say for sure that they were all gay, but they sure fit the stereotype. As in, like this.
Off topic, but “the Finches” sued Burroughs and his publisher, alleging that nearly everything in the book was exaggerated or outright made up. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, but I think it’s probably better to label Running With Scissors “fiction” instead of “biography.”
On topic, I was on a flight two months ago and of the handful of male flight attendants I saw on both the outgoing and return flights, I’d say only one wasn’t stereotypically gay.
Aside from being a traditionally/predominantly female profession, with flight attendants there may also be the lingering idea that they’re “sexy stewardesses”, the cocktail waitresses of the sky, providing eye candy and maybe more to traveling businessmen. I can see how that might lead to the assumption that a male flight attendant must also be making himself sexually available to traveling businessmen.
I’ve known 2 flight attendants in my life as personal friends. Both men, oddly enough. One very gay, one very straight. The later a former Marine, actually. He’s highly effective at the “take your seat, sir” to drunks and crazy people thing.
I fly quite a bit and, man, let me tell ya, most of the male flight attendants I’ve personally encountered, especially on long-haul, and international flights, and especially in business and first class, have been gay.
And to put a cherry on the gay stereotype sundae, my wife and I prefer gay flight attendants, because, yes, they are better at the job than straight flight attendants, are more personable, and much more attentive.
If you want an amazing flight attendant experience, fly business class on the morning Delta A380 flight from Atlanta to Hawaii, and pray you get Steve. He looks to be in his late 40s/early 50s with grey, almost white hair.
I work in the airline industry and all of the male flight attendants I’ve met have fit the stereotype. I don’t know any well enough to know if they’re actually gay though.
I recently watched a Dutch documentary about how HIV/AIDS hit the male KLM flight attendants in the early days. It was very interesting, and of course very, very sad. They were very hard hit, so very many of them died. Of course, the person thought to have brought the virus over to the US was thought to be a flight attendant, wasn’t he?
The virus was then spread across Europe and America in large part through flight attendants. Many of them were gay, and they were flying from country to country, exploring the night life everywhere they went.
The documentary mentioned several reasons for there being many gay flight attendants, from memory:
They liked hiring gay men because they weren’t starting families and so wouldn’t have a problem flying to far destinations.
They were interested in hospitality, clean, good looking, friendly, approachable.
They wanted the jobs because they would fly all over the world to explore the gay scene in every country, it was a sought after job for gay men.
Because KLM wanted them, and as it was a time of more discrimination it was a sought after job for that reason: you had an opportunity to work in a supportive environment.
Here is a link to the documentary. It’s in Dutch though, and you’ll need a Dutch IP to watch it.
Almost all male flight attendants are gay. One of my best friends (a gay man) has been one for 7 years now. He dates other flight attendants almost exclusively, and estimates 90% of male attendants in his company are gay.
I took two flights last week. There were 3 male flight attendants, 2 were definately gay and not sure about the other. The 3 that I know personally also say that most are.
Weird question, but my friend’s brother is named Steven and is a long time flight attendant and lives in Hawaii and works that flight to Atlanta and also to Paris often. I wonder if you mean him. Here’s a pic of the Steve I’m talking about, though I notice that the hair doesn’t match your description. Any chance they’re the same guy?
For a very short period of my life, long ago, I dated a flight attendant. She told me, point blank, that all male flight attendants were gay. I have no idea if it’s true, but it’s what she said, and she certainly met a lot of them in her job.