Tuckerfan
My husband is annoyed at that also. Every cat we have ever had is enthralled by the “magic fountain”. He usually just yells for me to come and get the cat so he can pee…
My kitty licks odd things. Generally they’re smooth things, like the shower curtain liner or plastic bags. Once she got interested in licking the pleated fabric shades for a while, but she’s not done that in ages.
She doesn’t just lick things, though–after she’s licked them, she will loudly and with great relish lick her lips/mouth. (Hard to describe; it’s similar to a dog eating peanut butter.) Then she’ll take another lick or two, and back to the licking her chops for a while. I generally discourage her from this behaviour–it’s rather annoying, and she often does it when I’m trying to sleep. It’s loud enough to wake me up and dash any hopes of sleep I might otherwise have had unless I shoo her out of the room. Can’t quite break her of it, though…
My Oliver insists on fucking things whenever I have guests. That blanket in the picture? That is his fucking blanket. He makes deep yowling sounds and has his way with the blanket any time someone comes over. If I hide the blanket in anticipation of this he uses his paw to pleasure himself while sitting on the couch. He does it occasionally when no one is around, of course, but if this is your first time coming to my house you can be sure he is gonna fuck something before you are gone.
The smaller and more female of my two beagles is a puker. She went for about 6 months where every morning between 6 and 8 she would wake up, get a pukey expression on her face and paw me gently. I would, as the well-trained beagle servant that I am, pick her up and run like hell to the bathroom so she could puke. It was almost always just a bunch of yellow bile.
One day we were off on a cruise on our sailboat with the dogs. Sure enough, Lily had her morning puke fest, but this time she horncked something BIG up with the yellow bile. I snagged the object (this was easy since she had chosen to empty her stomach on the cabin roof) and rinsed it off to take a look at it. It turned out to be about 66% of one of the brown plastic poop bags (unused, thank Og) we use when we walk the dogs. Near as I can tell she had found and eaten most of that bag months previous, and it had languished in her stomach since then. The morning puke routine was apparently her daily attempt to get the damn thing up and out of there.
I feel terrible about this whole thing; my poor dog had that thing in her stomach and she must have felt bad - maybe really bad - for so long. Plus, if circumstances had been even slightly different, we could have had a much different outcome.
Anyway, I do have a question on dog behavior: My male beagle, brother to the above-mentioned Lily, has a really big problem with fear. He’s a submissive dog to begin with, but he’s extremely fearful of pretty much anything. People, the sound of cars, other dogs, dry leaves, air molecules crashing together - they all scare Gomez terribly. I don’t know what caused this behavior, to my knowledge he’s never had a bad experience, and he’s lived with us since he was 12 weeks old. He just became fearful after being a pretty normal puppy.
Are there behavior specialists that could help with this? I live in the SF Bay Area, so I would think there would be some resources around, but my Vet says there’s not much I can do and he’s not aware of any animal behaviorists that would be worth the time. Any ideas?
Oooooh. That would definitely explain why I get the same thing. On the nice white carpet that was here when I moved in. 
Or the nice rug. They never aim for the tile or the wood floor, do they.
As for the litterbox = fail thing, I’ve read it explained as sheer laziness, or an attempt to show dominance by smelling up the whole place.
This is the thing I totally don’t get. Maxx likes to plop himself in front of the window ogling the cat dancing around across the street. He’s doing it now…
So he’ll watch for like 40 minutes at a time…
Sniffing, the entire time. I know dogs have a very keen sense of smell, but through the closed, locked-tight, Pella windows? He cant really smell the cat. Can he? And if he didn’t smell it the first time he sniffed, why is he still sniffing 40 minutes later?
Oh, don’t worry about that. Cats are built on the feast and famine model; in the wild, they gorge when they make a kill and then may go days without eating again. Ten hours is not going to hurt him.
Granted, until he gets used to the new schedule he’ll be meeting you at the door yelling, “Hey asshole, it’s called food. I need it to live!” That should settle out in about a week or so. Then feed smaller meals a few times through the evening.
Only one of the many weird things my cat Santi does:
Santi: Ooh, nice Persian rug you have there! scratch scratch scratch!
Me: Santi!
Santi: Who, me, what? rolls over Look what a nice, furry, tummy I have. So nice…
Me: It is a pretty nice tummy…
Santi: Look away, look away…
Me: looks away
Santi: scratch scratch scratch!
Or put her in a crate overnite for a few nights and see if it breaks the cycle. If she really needs to poop, she will wake you up but it’s more likely a habit thing.
Our dog, Mia, had a similar problem- she wouldn’t throw it up quite as quickly, but she would throw up. It turned out her stomach doesn’t empty properly- it empties way too slowly. We have to feed her three small meals a day, and this helps. (Not that everyone can manage to do this- we’re lucky because my mother only works part time so can get home to feed Mia lunch).
The dog is such a pig, though! She eats so fast that she sometimes ends up choking! We finally had to elevate her plate off the floor, so that she’s doesn’t have to bend down as far to eat, which seems to help.
[quote=“lizardling, post:25, topic:473830”]
Oooooh. That would definitely explain why I get the same thing. On the nice white carpet that was here when I moved in. Or the nice rug. They never aim for the tile or the wood floor, do they.
[QUOTE]
Ours likes the Persian rugs.
My Beagle mix puppy, Bailey, doesn’t have any weird issues yet, but my SO’s 5-year-old Beagle, Tara, does this:
Tara is a compulsive licker! She will lick people (especially feet) forever, but she also always licks the couch cushions and the sheets/pillows. We, too, believe that it’s a comfort thing. Weird dog. 
Interesting responses about the cat scratching thing. Cuervo does this, but to EVERYTHING. The wood railing on the side of the bed: tappa-tappa.
By all the food dishes, on the glass windows, while he looks out at the neighbors, next to my shoes on the floor.
He looks so intent while he’s doing it too, it’s pretty funny.