you fluffy little BITCH.

The BBQ Pit
1

she’s about 12 weeks old. cutest little siamese you ever saw, when she’s not hiding under the bed being a terrorist bloodbeast (read: destroying my feet) while I’m trying to sleep… or shitting on my FUCKING FLOOR.

yeah, yesterday she just decided the living room floor would be a good place to drop off some protein, so I cleaned it up, thinking she’s (supposedly) a cat, shit like this happens.

then this morning, little cockwhore did it AGAIN. WH4T TEH @$$. why the fuck is she doing this??? since when are the contents of her fucking intestines too good for the box I bought to contain them?!?

…I give the bitch a day. I just cleaned out her litterbox. she does it again, I’ma have me a mothafuckin’ siamese purse.

[insert your own tales of what-the-fuck-you-stupid-animal here]

2

I’m not owned by a cat (apparently I’m not “cool” enough), so I’m no expert, but I think cats have to be trained to use the litter box. As soon as she’s done eating, put her in the litter box, and don’t let her out until she offers you a cigar. Then give her plenty of praise.

Was she using it before? Did you change brands of litter, or the location of the box?

Have you considered that she might be sick? Or upset? She might be trying to tell you something.

3

I have one that goes to the box, hangs her kitty-butt over the edge, and poos the floor. How’s that for a hearty “Fuck You”?

4

And the box is very clean. The ol’ man even smooths the litter so it LOOKS NICE for them. And that’s the thanks we get.

5

My guess is she either doesn’t like the litter, or the location of the box. When we got our newest cat, she hated the litter we were using and would poop on the floor next to the box. Switching brands fixed the problem right up. Similarly, if the box is in a place she doesn’t feel comfortable letting her guard down, she may be unwilling to use it.

Either that or she hates you.

6

cackles ohhh, my god, Kalhoun, your post gave me such a sudden laugh it almost hurt my stomach. if nothing else, I feel better that my cat doesn’t suck as bad as yours! :smiley:

tdn, she’s litterbox-trained (although for some reason she scratches at the plastic instead of actually burying her shit…grumble), but you might be right about the sick/upsetness… our air conditioner has been broken for about 4 days now, and it’s not been less than 85 degrees in here since… that’s the only thing I can think of that’s any different.

Giraffe, I don’t think it’s the litter; this is the same stuff (and the same location) we’ve been using for the last month or so and she never had a problem with it before. If she doesn’t quit this pretty goddamned immediately, though, I’ll try switching it before I throw her in the dumpster. :wink:

7

Just wait 'til she outgrows her poo problem, I’m sure she’ll shape up to be a non-fluffy, raucous, inquisitive, wonderful little friend.

…until she starts pissing everywhere.
Take it from me, and our Sealpoint is 10, keep that ass-box fresh as a daisy or one day, you’ll step out of the shower onto the bath mat and cat pee will squish up between your toes.

8

What didn’t work for me was to show my kitten how to use the litter box. Shootin’ a couple of ounces of urine in there went without a hitch as the stream was fairly easy to cut off but have you ever tried to stop a dookie midloaf? Hell, it turned out to be a big as the cat.

9

Have you changed anything in the house, or did she suddenly just start shitting on the floor?

My black cat likes to show my husband what he thinks of him every morning if I’m out of town. He leaves him a little steaming gift right next to the TV. He’ll also pull that trick if my mom sleeps over. For some ungodly reason, my mom, a nearly 60-year-old woman, has still not figured out that my cats do not like having their tails pulled. My black cat will come and sit on my lap every night after dinner, my mom will sit next to me, then will constantly tug on his tail until he gives her a little warning nip and jumps off the couch and runs away. Then he promptly shits on the floor when once goes to bed. It’s really annoying, but in the case of my mom pulling his tail, it’s almost understandable - I really can’t get mad at him for that because she’s doing something he hates, knowing he hates it, and he’s just showing her that she’s pissed him off. As for the gift he leaves my husband - they just don’t like each other. I guess I’m the mitigating factor between the two.

10

In which case, she needs to be submitted to www.mycathatesyou.com :smiley:

11

Reminds me of a trick I pulled when I was about fourteen. We had gotten a tiny new kitten, and it was my job to clean his litter. One night I was sitting on the pot and produced a really admirable specimen. I had an urge to show it off, but I doubted anyone would take time out of their busy schedules to view my masterpiece, so I buried it in the litter. Then I went to the kitchen where my brother was doing the dishes and offered to trade chores with him.
A few minutes later I heard a scream of amazement, then laughter.
My mother was very angry with my brother for refusing to admit that he had generated the monster log. I could have pinned the deed on him permanently, but was forced to fess up as my mother prepared to take the kitten to the vet. :smiley:

12

“…And that’s why my username is Dung Beetle.”

13

Every time you mom pulls on it’s tail, reach over and give her nose a good pull.
When she gets pissed off and tells you to stop, tell her that’s what the cat would say to her if it could talk.

p.s. I hate your mom.
:rolleyes:

14

I can speak to the truth of this claim. The cat, named Shady, is a vicious bloodbeast from hell.

Her favorite species of prey is the human foot.

You cannot walk past her without her, oh so charmingly, trying to claw your skin off. Forget about it if you’re sitting at the computer with your feet on the floor.
She’ll curl up, sweetly, around your foot, and then bite you as hard as she can.

We’ve tried to train her not to claw and bite, but she’s stupid. If, for instance, you hiss at her (the only way I’ve found to get her to stop), she’ll leave you feet alone for, if you’re lucky, five whole seconds. Then she’ll bite you.

And I don’t support hitting your pets. But damnit, when you’re woken up at four in the morning by a something leaping onto your foot and clawing and biting, or pouncing on your head with claws extended… well… it’s hard not to instinctively swat at the terrorist bloodbeast.

Now, on the topic of her using the floor as her litter box.

The first time she did it was about a month and a half ago, and then it wasn’t really her fault. She was all meowing and we didn’t realize that the door to the room where her litterbox is , was closed. So she had no other choice… She even tried to bury it and didn’t realize that the shag carpet couldn’t be used for such a purpose… she actually looked guilty and sad, so it was ok.

But then.

A couple of days ago, for no reason, at all, with us in the room, she just took a dump on the floor (near where she did last time but not within two feet of the actual spot).

She looked at us with the kitty equivalent of “what? I had to shit.”

This morning I was woken up by my roomie, the super cool nevermore , screaming. When I asked her what was wrong, she said “She did it again!”

Even if she won’t get rid of the cat, I’m considering, um… accidentally… selling her to pirates, for crack.

(I wonder how much crack she’s worth)

15

This thread has some funny shit. Ba-dum-bum.

For cat discipline, I recommend a water gun or squirt bottle. Also try a soda can with some coins inside and tape over the opening. Cats don’t like the noise when you shake or throw it, but be careful not to hit them.

16

Yeah, I’ve told her to cut it out, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. I usually manage to stop her before it happens, but for some stupid reason the cat, even though he knows she’ll yank on his tail, sits on my lap even if I’m next to her. The last time it happened, I wasn’t really paying attention and he was sitting on the back of the couch right next to my head, facing me, with his back facing my mom. She idly started petting him, then gave his tail a yank. Apparently she did it a few times, then he bit her harder than usual (not enough to draw blood, just enough to hurt) and ran away. I didn’t get mad at him, which upset my mom, but I figure that he’s just defending himself, and if she’s so dense to keep pulling on his tail even though I’ve constantly told her not to, and my cat has also expressed his displeasure, she probably deserves to get nipped on the hand every once in a while.

17

dude!! is THAT why she’s doing that?? I figured it was just ‘cause she’s a bitch. seems like it’s every fuckin’ time we leave the bathroom door open…it’s almost like she prefers pissing on the floor.

harmless: that site is so scary. I submitted a picture :smiley:

Dung Beetle… heh…just um…wow. laughs I’m not even going to ask how you got it into the litterbox…

Finn: those aren’t pirates. they’re indians, dressed up as pirates, waiting for you to try to get in on my crack deal so they can scalp you and shrink your head. (stay away from my indians.) (AND my crack.)

sturmhauke: I’ve found that yelling is an equally effective deterrent… generally the more times I use the word “fuck”, the better. :stuck_out_tongue:

overlyverbose: the only thing that’s changed in the last few days is how freakin’ hot it is in here (broken AC). and as for your mom? tell her next time she does it, SHE’S cleaning up the result! :wink:

18

Awwww…I want to see pics of Pissy Cat!
I’m working my way through alphabetically.
Right now I’m up to Judas, who “hates you… for naming him Judas”. :stuck_out_tongue:
I’m going to get some of my bad asses and submit them too.
They’ll be under Jesper and Gia when I get around to it.

19

Actually, they do not. The mother cat teaches them right after they’re born.
Seriously, take Kitty to the vet-shitting outside the box is a sign that something is wrong. (After of course, you rule out new litter, new box, new box location and dirty litter-Gypsy, the most fastidious little thing you’ll ever run across will take a dump beside the box if it’s not clean enough for Her Highness).

20

You think a cat that attacks feet is bad. You ain’t even started in annoying cats.

I grew up without air conditioning, so in the summer. I slept with only one thin blanket, and the door open for as much breeze as possible. I got woken up every morning by our cat hunting my feet . This sucked, and I instinctivly kicked the cat off, when it would run off until the morning when it would do it again.

Then I turned 14 or so, with the normal events. Being woken up by a cat attacking your semi-erect morning wood poking up under the balnket with full claws is not a pleasant experience.