The One-legged Soldier and His Wimmins

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

My She-Ra dolls all had body jeweling, piercings, and holes drilled into their necks for direct cyborg mind-controlling machinery.

I still have them.

In The Continuing Updates on My Boring Life, I have just finished the laundry, and am thinking about lunch and munching ginger cookies generously provided by scout. After lunch I will do the dishes, clean the fridge and kitchen, and then go to work. When I get back from work, at 10:30, Mr Lissar and Driving Husband will ask me what I’m making for dinner. Then I will kill them.

22

No army men, rag dolls or snooty ballerinas for me, I had all my adventures with my trusty band of stuffed animals. There was Teddy, Panda, Tigger, Gingerbread Man, Snoopy, Leo, and about 27 more, all imaginatively named. Nobody ever fell in love, but we found teasure, fought pirates, rescued small animals from big woods, were Knights of the Round Table and Robin’s Merry Men, left on deserted islands, stranded in the desert, lost at sea, kidnapped, occasionally tortured, raised by Indians, raised by wolves, never grew up at all but hunted an alligator that swallowed a clock, explored the jungle, travelled in space, went back in time, went forward in time and had cookies and milk in the afternoons.

Ah, those were the days, my friends, those were the days.

23

Boy, oh, boy! There seems to be an inordinate amount of blood lust in this week’s MMP. Perhaps I should quickly steer it straight to the food talk. Last night I cooked a small leggo lamb roast. I ground some Rosemary leaves and sprinkled them on the outside with some pepper and garlic powder, Then I cut about four small onions in half and attached them to the outside and roasted that sucker for an hour at 350. It came out nice and rare which is how I like it, which was all that mattered since I am the only human who eats lamb around the Anachi ranch. Tonight the non-human carnivores will get to munch on what’s left. I also cooked some really nice fresh green beens, but we ate alla them. :slight_smile:

24

I could drive out to Blue-hairia for some nice, rare lamb with garlic. I’d even help cook. And I’m either a complete ninny or a scintillating conversationalist, I forget which. Regardless, I am totally jealous, although I also don’t see how rare red meat helps to cure bloodlust. Seems like the same topic to me.

With any luck I’ll have a beer with either Bluesman or Lucretia tonight, so I’ll have some Doper company although no tasty lambkins.

25

I’m starting to feel tired and rundown. I’ve also been sneezing off and on this morning.

If you’re looking to kill, how about focusing on the germs that are probably invading my body right now?

:frowning:

26

We’ve told you before, you have to be careful how you phrase things when dealing with male dopers. For example, my brain read the above statement as:

Sorry, I figure it’s the missing chromosome tail that causes this to happen. I’m a prisoner of my own flawed genes.

27

Well, I’m feeling peachy-fine, so that’s one argument against the two of us being the same person. Seriously - feel better. Take zinc lozenges - my dad swears by them.

I honestly have the worst memory - I don’t remember how I played with my dolls when I was a little girl. I do know that I had Cabbage Patch kids. And to see the difference between me and my sister - my CP kid was missing a shoe & sock - she had all the CP clothes hanging neatly on little hangers.

My weekend was actually fairly busy for me. I had been in my closet earlier that week, chasing my cat (she’s not allowed in there, due to a bad habit of destroying clothes). Anyway, I tripped over all the stuff in there, and landed a little hard. I said (not out loud; don’t want to disturb the neighbors), “That’s it - I’m not going to trip over stuff in here, break my neck & die - that would be very undignified.”. So - closet floor is now clean - and all shoes are lined up in neat little rows. Can actually be slightly freaky - all those shoes lined up like that. But hey, at least I can now find a pair very easily.

After the victory over my closet, I decided to do what I had been putting off for a long time - getting my hair cut. And I did get it decidedly cut. Lost about 5 inches, I would say. Shortest I’ve ever had it - but it is really cute, so I may stick with it in the future. It’s just weird - I go to shampoo my hair, and there’s not much there.

I also ordered a new laptop - which looks like it will be delivered early this week. Merry Christmas to me!

Susan

28

Now we all know what Kalley did this weekend. :smiley:

Since I was ACBGless, I baked a turkey and some tollhouse cookies. I used VunderBob’s recipe. They were (well, still are actually since I made like 10 dozen of em) good. Guess who showed up last night to get some cookies? He brung me a present too. It’s a sweatshirt that says University of West Alabama on it. I didn’t have one of those. And as ACBG said, “It’s not sump’n you woulda bought for yourself.” He’s a weird ol’ critter but I likes him anyways. The turkey is for a big ol’ lunch we’re having here at work on Friday. I cooked it, sliced it up an froze it, so all I have to do is reheat (nuke) it on Friday. Also, I have to cook another turkey for the same lunch, plus make dressing (cornbread and biscuits already made and frozen, all ready for some nuking and crumbling), and make gravy. Wow, swampy that’s a lot you say? Yep it is. See, this is a big ol’ lunch we do each year for the people we serve in our vocational progam. I always do turkey, dressing, gravy and cranberry sauce and everybody brings a covered dish. Drinks and all are provided. It’s fun. We get some interesting side dishes and a good time is had by all.

puggy lamb is ick. That’s all I gotta say about it.

scout, sweetie, sorry you’re all sicky but please don’t breathe on yer puter. I don’t want none of them viruses I keep hearing about infectin’ my puter, ok?

29

Hmm, no bloodlust here either.

Lessee, this weekend we went out and purchased our tree and then took it home and I decorated it.

We went to the tree lot and I hopped out of the pickemeup and headed on over to the Grand Firs (they smell s-o-o-o-o-o-o puuuurttty). Hubby strolls over to some varient of a noble fir.

The following conversation then ensued:

Me: (Pointing at lovely Grand Fir)-Hey honey, this is a nice tree and is really fresh.

Him: (Pointing at Noble varient): What about this one honey.

Me: Well, I really like the Grand Firs better, sweetie.

Him: (Stubbornly): I think THIS one is nice.

Me: Sigh…lemme look. So I headed over to the tree he pointed out.

He then moves to another tree and says:

“Hey honey, look at this tree”.

This continued for a while as we moved from tree to tree.

Okay, so are you all getting idea here. Long story short, we looked at bunch of trees and we ended up with a Noble. I only agreed to the Noble because hubby has wanted a Noble for a long time.

What got me was that as he was relating the tree saga to our friends, he told them he kept saying “That’s a nice tree, honey; you wanna get it?” whenever I pointed trees out. He says he just wanted to get out of there and go home. The problem with that is I only got to point TWO, count 'em, TWO trees! The big fibber!

Arrgghh! Menfolk can be so exasperating! Between the tree and the big, humongo, freakishly large, poinsetta we bought for tne entry way we spent way too much.

At any rate, I decorated the tree all by myself. It took me a long time, because, well, I’m picky that way.

Yesterday, we went out and bought lights for the house. We discovered that next year we’ll haved to buy even more. But, the house looks all Christmas-y now, with white icicle lights on the eaves of the house, lights wrapped around the front porch post, lights in the bushes, and finally candy cane lights going up front walkway.

I didn’t bake anything (well except for seven layer bars and they’re gone). I just didn’t have time. Before we went out tree shopping I went and got a haircut and coloring job.

Finally, our Rue has done it again. I took expect an autographed, bound book of all his stories.

30

When FairyChatDad was a FairyChatLad, he and his brothers had the big GI Joes - not the wussy little ones that came later. It also happened that there were some constructions sites in their neighborhood, with lots of dirt piles and rocks and stuff. Being imaginative lads, they took their Joes to the dirt piles and played Prisoner of War Camp. Apparently, this involved throwing rocks and dirt clods at GI Joe, and there may have been firecrackers involved.

Yet another reason I’m glad I had a daughter instead of a son.

And before anyone asks, he did get over it. As far as I know.

My weekend was busy, but nice. We had a lot to do on Saturday, but we went to my mom’s on Sunday to do some chores for her, and she took us to a Chinese buffet, so I didn’t have to cook. She also gave us our Christmas presents since we’re going to be in Florida for the holidays, and a certain FCD couldn’t wait to open them. So we’ve had a pre-Christmas.

And right now, the house smells yummy. I’ve had pork ribs in the oven on low all day. They’re falling-apart tender. As soon as my sweetie gets home, I’ll make some taters and veggies, and we shall sup. Ice cream for dessert. Yum.

31

Well, I don’t like how this week has started at all. One of my cats is MIA and I don’t know whether she’s snoozing in a dark corner or somehow snuck outside and is now terrified or dead.

Then I get to work and it dawns on me that we don’t have two more weeks till vacation, just one. Which normally is good news except that I totally don’t have my shopping done. I spent most of friday shopping but didn’t accomplish much because of a footwear rebellion. My normally comfy boots stabbed me in the back. Or the bottoms of my toes, really, and so I have to recover and go back or pay for super-zippy shipping if I order stuff. Poop.

Plus, I woke up with a terrible sore throat and it started to get better but now is worse. Never mind that I never did get over that lovely phlegmy stage of the last cold I had. So here I am, possibly catless, giftless, be-blistered, phlegmy, and froggy-voiced. And it’s only monday.

On the other hand, tomorrow should be interesting. Our students are protesting a new policy of no passes during class time (plus a closed campus and two lunch shifts) by organizing a walk-out. This should be good.

I also have childhood toy amnesia. No idea what I spent hours doing with my dolls and animals. I do remember how cozy my secret hide-away in the closet was.

32

That’s okay, cause shibb is gonna come help me finish it off. You can have some of the homemade lasagna with homemade sauce and meatballs, instead, kay?

I had a pre-Barbara highheel doll. She had a great carrying case and loads of fashions to wear and lovely blond hair that I could style in either a flip or pageboy hairdo. I would still have her except Mom let my then toddler sister play with her and she got ruint. :frowning:

I also had a collection of china horses and dogs that I made tack and blankets for using cloth scraps and masking tape. I guess I’ve always been into the four-legged. :slight_smile:

33

Well, I may feel junky, but Ashes, that’s not good! I hope the kitty turns up none the worse for wear real soon.

I had lots of teddy bears when I was a kid. Never had any dolls…just stuffed animals. But you know what I always wanted? An Easy Bake Oven. Never got it. I think I’m permanently scarred by that, which explains why my real oven doesn’t get much use nowadays. Do you think?

34

My brother always wanted a Snoopy snow cone machine. We finally got him one for him for Christmas - when he was 14.

Buy yourself the Easy Bake Oven - you’re worth it! And the best part - instant portion control!

Susan

35

You and your toy soldiers. When I was a child my brothers and all the young boys in the village would sit by the fire, and listen to the elders speak of great feats of strength, and great battles. When we became old enough we *were *the soldiers. Those who lived, and proved themselves worthy become the leaders of our people. I was the strongest. Now I lead my hoard of mighty Nordic warriors into battle, crushing any that stand in our way, and living the glory that is our birthright!

Strength and bravery,
Regallag the Axe

36

Picture yourself as a smurf by a river
With styrofoam trees and cardboard box homes
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
It’s Mom with some chores you must do.

Play-dohie flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the girl with the blue skin and hair
And she’s there

Smurfette in the basement with children
Smurfette in the basement with children…

(3 guesses what my sister and I used to collect)

37

Beatles’ albums?

38

When I was a kid, I had one of those GI Joes for he-men, too. My grandmother (who will turn 98 on Wednesday, BTW), being a good Mennonite, made him a set of railroad overalls and a cap because Mennonites are pacifists, and she didn’t like the war stuff too much.

The funny part is that I didn’t use him to play war or trains. I had a skydiving fixation, so I made him parachutes out of anything I could, and spent most of my time trying to get him a lot of altitude for his chute to open…

I also had a bazillion of those little plastic soldiers which I did play war with. It usually involved the US kicking the crap out of the USSR in WWIII.

39

Considering an Easy Bake Oven is pretty cheap, I just might have to do that, Susan!

I loved Smurfs when I was a kid. I had a friend, Melody, who had almost every figurine known to man. She also had Smurfs bedding and a smurf lunchbox. I envied her so.

40

pant pant pant
It’s been weeks since I managed to make it to the MMP by Monday! I’m so proud.

Ballerina Barbara sucks anyway. My siblings and I once decided that our dolls wanted to try out their parachuting skills. So we rigged up, um, Barbara with a new plastic shopping bag under her arms and pitched her out the second floor window. Turns out the dumb doll is a pretty awful parachuter. She just fell straight down and body-slammed into the yard, plunk. So for only once in my little girl life did I play with a green army man, because it turns out they’re smaller and lighter than the Barbara dolls and therefore parachute much better when you attach them to a plastic bag and fling them out the window.

Although you gotta admit that the memory of Princess Barbie in sparkly gown and sparkly high heels biting the dust after a two-story fall is priceless.