The Onion says "Shalom!"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

From today’s page a day calender:

Jews To Celebrate Rosh Hashasha Or Something
JERUSALEM-Jews the world over are preparing to celebrate
Rosh Hashanukah or something this weekend, the traditional Jewish holiday marking some sort of rebirth and new beginning, or maybe the Jews’ liberation from some foreigh ruler 55,000 years ago
"Rash Kishansha is a very holy time for the Jewish People,"said Paul Castellano, a guy from Houston who’s gastroenterologist is Jewish.
“I think Dr.Futterman said it’s the holiday where they light that chandelier and blow that horn.”
…Ran Hosea is followed by Yor Kiplach, the Festival of Sand, during which no buttered bread my be eaten in remembrance of the flooding of the ancient Temple of Hosea.-September 11, 1996

God, I love The Onion

2

I figured a chick like you would enjoy that. :wink:

3

[homer]
Heh, heh, heh! It’s funny because it’s true!
[/homer]

I still have to prepare for the celebration of Mal Alaguenya.

L’shannen doherty to all my fellow hebes. Especially that scrumptious little knoedl, Miss Creant.

4

Like what? What kind of chick am I?

5

Oh, so this is the famous “memo” that we were all wondering about.

"Dear All Jews,

Happy New Year!

Pray for the world, it needs you.

Love,
magdalene"

6

I totally forgot about that one…

I think it was:

TO: ALL JEWS
RE: HOLIDAY
FR: GOD/ISRAEL

Please note that today is Rosh Hashanah.
You still have to go to work.

Happy New Year.

cc:Pope, T
Bush, G.W.

7

WHERE did you get an Onion Page-A-Day calendar??

Must own! Must own!

Zette

8

That is hysterical.

9

I think I found it at Barnes and Noble
Its the Onion’s Finest News Reporting page a day. I don’t know if there is one for 2002.

10

So far, I’ve seen one page-a-day Onion calendar for 2002. Not sure if it was Our Dumb Century, or just the Finest News Reporting, though.

As for wall calendars for 2002, I’ve seen Our Dumb Century and Dispatches from the Tenth Circle.

Again, all at Barnes and Noble.

11

Happy Rozabrams Haddasah, everyjew!

12

Allow me to chime in and wish all our Jewish posters a happy Roast Havannah!

13

And this gentile wishes everyone a happy Rosh HaShaNaNa, the Jewish celebration of do-wop.

14

Zette hauls ass over to Barnes and Noble.

Woohoo!

15

Zette:
email me if you find one!!

16

For something like 25 years now my Mom has bought me a wall calendar for my birthday (it’s in December, how convenient.) This year it was a Onion calendar! She can be pretty cool sometimes for a senior citizen.

Haj