Worse than vomiting? Easy – vomiting in your sleep so that it surges through your pharynx, and you wake up with the drowning sensation and the burning and the smell of stomach acid in your nostrils.
That sucks.
I recall reading (on these boards I believe) that the greatest sexual pleasure possible could be experienced by buggering someone while they were engaged in vomiting.
I’m not sure I completely buy into this theory, but it left a kind of earthy image in my mind which has been difficult to eradicate.
I feel confident that regardless of one’s sexual preference, such an… intrusion would be most unwelcome whilst otherwise engaged in the techicolor yawn.
So, I can think of something worse than vomitting.
If while you were bent over the throne someone would choose that moment as an opportunity to test this hypothesis… that would be worse.
A few weeks ago I had that intestinal bug, and in the deepest misery whilst in throws of violent oral projection, I was able to reflect with sanguinity that it could be worse.
Thank you for putting all this in perspective, Scylla. Knew I could count on you.
:eek:
Actually I find that pedialite pospicles do wonders for this kind of thing.
Just don’t stick them up your ass.
Emetophobia.
Normally I recommend diluting the Brain Bleach[sup]TM[/sup] 1:4 with water. But in this instance, I think it would be wise to skip over all-less aggressive measures and douse your brain in it straight from the bottle. If this does not work, your brain may require prolonged exposure to superheated steam at high pressure.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to apply some bleach myself before this sets.
Something worse than vomiting… hmmm. Well, I can offer a circumstance that makes the whole experience worse, but nothing on the level of Scylla’s contribution.
When I feel the stirrings of a stomach virus or similar vomit-inducing sickness, the first thing I do is pull my hair back and pin it up. Sadly, my last vomiting episode caught me completely by surprise, so I ran to the toilet, whipped my head over it and vomited. All over my own hair. Strings of slimy, puked-on hair hung down into the toilet.
That was such a nice touch to the whole ordeal.
FB
I suffer from reflux, and I vomit pretty easily. No, I don’t enjoy it, but it’s good to know I can do it and get it over with without too much trauma.
Besides, it give me a chance to go to my husband and say “Gee, you’re real pretty. If I didn’t have puke breath, I’d kiss you.” 
You haven’t been watching the right porn.
(And trust me, you do NOT want to know.)
Emetophobic.
Waking up puking is a terrible feeling. I’ve done that twice. Probably a bit of GERD. Now I make sure I don’t eat heavy before going to bed.
Things I Learned Last Wednesday -
[ul][li]Duck Duck Goose was correct when she posted the following:[/li][quote]
The only thing that’s worse than vomiting is vomiting and diarrhea at the same time, the infamous “don’t know which end to point at the toilet” Xtreme Stomach Flu.[sup]TM[/sup]
[/quote]
[li]Dizzy spells interfere with the ability to vomit accurately. Thus my idea of “sit on the toilet as I evacuate everything I have eaten in 2005 in one liquid rush and barf between my legs” did not work out as well as I hoped.[]Chills are not only over-rated as entertainment, they do not cause sufficient contracture of the anal sphincter to prevent diarrhea. This is especially true of chills brought on by contact between bare feet and cold bathroom floors. Unfortunately.[/li][li]My wife does, in fact, love me. This is amply demonstrated by the fact that she assisted me off the floor after I fell off the toilet and crapped myself after failing to vomit accurately as described above. Thus I had one form of bodily emanation on the front of my legs, and another on the back. She then got me seated on the side of the tub and, when I warned her that I wanted to wash off very badly but couldn’t stand up in the shower for long, went and got a chair for me to lean on in the shower. Her intentions were good, but the chair she fetched was a plastic one. From the garage. Where it has been well below freezing for the last month. Which I discovered when I sat down on the freezing cold chair. []Chills brought on by planting one’s naked ass on a freezing cold plastic chair do cause sufficient anal contracture to prevent diarrhea. Which is almost immediately relieved by the fairly simple expedient of standing up. Which brings on chills of a different sort, which do not prevent diarrhea. []The cubic capacity of my colon and lower intestine is remarkable. I expected after the fourth or fifth attack of diarrhea that I must be damn near empty. I was proven wrong, several times over. []There are some things worse than work. One of them is being home sick and not being strong enough to read. Daytime TV is not stupid enough to be entertaining, and also too stupid to be entertaining.It will get better, eventually. Thirty-six hours after my first attack, I felt fine. [/ul] There are easier ways to lose eight pounds in two days, but I don’t think I care to try them.[/li]
Regards,
Shodan
Oh, and LifeOnWry, I hope you are feeling better.
Regards,
Shodan
Kolak of Twilo is tubgirl! :eek:
Oh honey! You had it WAAAAAAAAAAY worse than I did. I have loads of leftover sympathy from our fellow Dopers, so I’m sending all the extras your way.
Your wife is an angel.
Ohh, vomiting. Yeah. Great fun. Waking up with the dry heaves, even more fun. I had this weird flu thing that kept me home from work all last week that started with the dry heaves. Then I had this cough, and coughing would trigger my gag reflex, and I’d puke again. I suppose I could have taken a cough suppressant, but then I would have run the risk of coughing before it kicked in, yakking it back up and wasting a dose or two.
BTW, I think vomiting is much worse than diarrhea. At least when you’ve got the shits, you can pull the clothes hamper up in front of you whilst seated on the throne. Said hamper’s lid can support your collection of Dilbert books, copy of whichever volume or volumes of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader you happen to possess, and/or a book of crossword puzzles so you can keep yourself amused while your alimentary tracts evacuates whatever noxious substances are causing it such great offense.
Would it be bad to admit that I keep my entire collection of Straight Dope books in the bathroom?
No. Bad would be admitting you keep your omnibus of William Shakespeare, or James Joyce, or Samuel R. Delany in your bathroom.
Worse would be admitting you’ve had to change one of the above for another after reading through everything one time too many. :eek:
There is one thing worse than just plain vomiting, and that is bowing your head a little too far before the porcelain god, and emptying a good portion of your stomach’s contents into the toilet bowl directly through your nose.
What a timely thread. I had food poisoning this weekend - I feel your pain. 