The Oogieloves: I have seen Hell

Last night at our screening for “Brave,” they showed the most horrible, appallingly bad trailer for an ill-conceived children’s movie I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. This is from some of the people behind “The Teletubbies” (which I liked, in a surreal sort of way), and the point of it seems to encourage kids to get up and yell at the screen, interact with the characters, and dance (all wonderful goals–for a DVD that the kid is watching at home. But this movie is aimed at the under-5 set, who aren’t known for their high levels of understanding about “this movie is okay to dance and sing and yell at, but this one (and pretty much every other movie they’re likely to see) isn’t.”)

I present (and don’t say I didn’t warn you): The Oogieloves.

As a disclaimer, I don’t have kids and don’t relate very well to very young ones. But I can certainly see the point behind things like Teletubbies and The Wiggles and other similar entertainment aimed at little kids. But this just looks like a bad low-budget PBS show on steroids. Might work as a kids’ TV or DVD series, but as a movie? Yeah, no.

I seriously pity the parent who’s forced to sit through this trainwreck. I can’t see how it would have anything that would engage them at all, unless you call having your brains dribble out your ears “engaged.”

Has anyone here even heard of “The Oogieloves”? Even the name sounds like something you’d get tossed in jail for attempting.

I too saw the vision of eternal damnation and torment that is the Oogieloves trailer.

I was especially offended for a different reason - as the son of a puppeteer and a recovering ventriloquist, the puppetry was utter shit! Those mouth movements would have embarrassed an Anime director!

I saw that preview too. Twice, actually, since they apparently felt like scarring my soul one wasn’t enough. Those heads were incredibly creepy, and at least few times there was no mouth movement at all. I have to disagree with gaffa; if terrifyingly disturbing was what the puppeteers were hoping to achieve, then these guys go well into the genius category.

Well that’s about two minutes of my life that I’ll be regretting for the rest of it.

Did I mishear something? I could swear I heard the line, “From the marketing visionary of…” Not director, not writer, but marketing visionary.


Wow. If ever there was a big flashing neon sign on an actor’s resume saying “Dear God, I needed the work”, that was it. Cloris Leachman, Cary Elwes, Chazz Palminteri, Christopher Lloyd…how low they’ve sunk. And Toni Braxton? Really?

So how was Brave? I’m thinking of taking the four-year-old to it.

gaffa, I’ve got to ask what you mean when you say you’re a “recovering ventriloquist.” You’re re-learning how to move your lips?

I loved Brave. It had a couple of pretty intense scenes in it, but there were a lot of little kids in the audience and they seemed to enjoy it.

I do hope the Oogieloves didn’t lobotomize them, though. I think that movie might qualify as child abuse.

I refuse to believe that Jaime Pressley’s star has sunk so low so fast.

Personally, while I have no interest in seeing it, I don’t think it’s terrible for a kid’s movie. It does look like it escaped from the 90s, though.

I stared into the abyss, and the abyss stared back.

I thought it was a satire at first.

There’s something oddly frightening about their faces and proportions.

That ventriloquism is a mental illness. I’m well now.

Almost…uncanny, you say?

Leaving aside the horrendous appearance of the characters, I’m also struck by how backwards the message is – three characters:

One boy who is “Scientastic”
One boy who is “Adventurific”
One girl who is “Sparkeliciousness”

OK, a couple of things:

Spelling is atrocious even for novel coinage: Adventurific should clearly have two Fs.

Parallel structure is violated – why isn’t the girl “Sparkelicious” (adjectival form)?

But mostly, the sexism – and I’m a man. One boy is adventurous, one is science-oriented, and the girl is…judged entirely on her appearance.

Cloris Leachman “needs the work”? You must not be a fan of Raising Hope, then.

Needs the money, then. Gambling addiction?

it looks horrible…but no worse than any other children’s show for 5 year olds.

Thank you for sharing that,

you monster.

Me too - I’d just seen the Futurama episode Yo Leela Leela earlier in the week and thought I was having flashbacks…

Thank you for posting this warning. I am one of those folks who has a really squicked out reaction to most ‘realistic looking’ animation. It’s so primal… I just get this gut feeling that screams AVERT!

Well, if you watch the trailer for the Oogieloves, I doubt you’ll find anything even remotely realistic or uncanny-valley about it. Hellish, yes. Horrible, yes. Realistic? No. <shudder>