Same place as everyone else: Black Mesa. I recall he was a bit upset about his microwave casserole, but he has finally exonerated us from any further condemnation over that little mishap because we saved his missile silo.
Where are you going? I don’t think you’re going where you think you’re going. You should have turned left. There was a party just down that hallway. I even invited your best friend, the Companion Cube, but he couldn’t come because you murdered him.
I forgot to add a bit of Valve trivia … Ellen McLain, an opera singer and the voice of GLaDOS, also played the voice of the Combine Dispatch and the TF2 Announcer.
THE CAKE IS A LIE
Really? Wow. I have no memory of that whatsoever (and clearly didn’t even notice it at the time, either). I guess I’m just so inured to some of these standard shooter puzzles that I do them on autopilot. Troubling. 
And yeah, the ducking in and out of the guardian’s way was pretty exciting, although the reason you weren’t allowed to kill him is another thing that escapes me. Well, I remember that it would’ve meant the goo went bad, but not why.
Oh yeah, almost forgot; Frohman count was about 7, after I remembered to start paying attention. One of them even talked to me in a comedy southern accent. I miss Frohman.
I bought it yesterday and have had a chance to run through some of Ep. 2 and all of the main body of Portal. My impressions so far:
Portal: It took me a bit to get my bearings on the game’s concept, but that didn’t take long and I quickly found myself enjoying myself. The gameplay is simple and intuitive, but the puzzles, while not especially difficult, are often devious. What really makes the game though, in my opinion, is the game’s wicked sense of humour. I haven’t been this amused by a game in a very, very long time. It’s a very dry, sardonic, and sometimes silly sense of humour, but it is presented with such a straight, unflinching face that you can’t help but laugh. Even if you don’t particularly like puzzle games of this nature (I do, for what it’s worth) you still feel compelled to play through just to hear what the system will throw at you next. It is terribly short, though, which is the only disappointment. I really hope they develop the idea more and include it with the Episode 3 box – or even release an expanded version on its own. I’d buy it.
Episode 2: Holy crap, did they ever ramp up the difficulty here. Between that first antlion invasion and the strider/hunter battle with the Magnuson device (where I am right now) I think I’ve rushed around strafing the hell out of everything more than in HL2 and Ep.1 combined. There’s just no hiding and sniping here. Those hunters are tough, agile, and vicious. They move around so much that it’s hard to get a bead on them, and ammo is spread out over such a wide range and in such small quantities and varieties that the fight can spread over a pretty large area. I found myself just ramming the bastards with the car whenever possible so I didn’t have to expend a whole lot of precious ammo to take them down. Then there’s having to run to the nearest Magnuson Device dispenser because I can only carry one on the back of my car, so if I miss, it’s a mad dash to find another one, then circle around to try and shoot it at the strider and blow the bastard up. And there’s so damn many of them! At once! It’s funny too, because in the developer commentary for Episode One, they talked about how they’d have a battle, then some exploration to give the player some respite to alleviate battle fatigue. Not so much in Episode 2, it seems, where the battles seem to rage on much longer. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; it’s certainly more realistic, and more exciting. But man. So. Many. Striders. Overall though it’s proving to be a worthy chapter in this episodic release.
I’m still a bit miffed that they axed the Black Box edition. I really didn’t need HL2 or EP2.
Another tip for the final battle: the hunters can be hurt by the Magnassun device. Two shots will take one down.
I loved the Portal AI’s (does it have a name?) multiple personalities, especially the cute jittery one. “Hi! Where are we going? What’s that? Eew what’s wrong with your legs? That has numbers on it! Do you smell burning?” I felt bad about killing that one because it was so adorable.
So what’s with the ending? Was there really a party all along, and the AI was telling the truth? Or was it just teasing you? I wonder where they’ll go from here. You’re outside now, so the next one might take place in a natural environment. I want a full fledged stand alone Portal adventure. I hope that with enough positive response Valve will fund one. I’d also like it if the next one tied into the Half-Life universe more, giving us some insight into the world. A side quest from a different perspective, like they did with Opposing Force. Has the G-Man come in contact with Aperture before? Maybe Gordon applied for a job but got rejected? Tons of possibilities there.
Speaking of Opposing Force, was there ever any reference to Shepherd’s character in HL2?
The AI’s name is GLaDOS, short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. As far as I can tell, it’s a giant cyborg developed to run the facility.
As for the ending:
[SPOILER]Something about the ending after you destroy GLaDOS bugs me. WHY did you fly out of the chamber like that when GLaDOS blew up? It didn’t make any sense. Also, she didn’t seem to try terribly hard to stop you, compared to what it seems like she should have been able to do. That, combined with some of the stuff she says in the closing musical number “for those who are still alive…” makes me wonder if it wasn’t all just an elaborate test to give you the tools and skills you’d need to try and fight the Covenant. Of course, this is all just me fanwanking, so take it for what it’s worth.
And apparantly the cake was NOT a lie.[/SPOILER]
Combine, Raguleader. Unless you suspect Master Chief is involved somehow. 
GLaDOS. Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System.
The cake is a lie. A moist, delicious, tasty lie.
I have this theory … I think Companion Cube is G-Man. Hear me out. First off, they both look similar, except one is a cube, and one is a man. Secondly, one is at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center where portal technology was developed, and the other is an interdimensional entity that probably travels through portals. Thirdly, they both appears in Valve titles. The signs couldn’t be more obvious!
Kidding aside, I doubt there’s reason to suspect an association; whatever portals he uses aren’t of Aperture design. Whatever technology he draws upon for his interdimensional time travels is would appear to be more sophisticated than an A-to-B portal spawner, so I think the speculation is unfounded. G-Man’s modus operandi seems to be the acquisition of individuals for his master plan, and he is always keeping a watchful eye on his subjects. Seeing as how he was nowhere to be found at the Enrichment Center, I’d say Chell isn’t on his list. Not yet, at least.
Nope, but that’s not to say Valve hasn’t ruled out his return in a future title. There was some speculation that the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (ASHPD) was an inside reference to him, but it was dismissed by Valve as being an unintended coincidence. My guess is that Shepherd’s number is coming up soon. I’m sure G-Man has something lined up for him …
I really think that’s meant to be a jab at the fact that few, if any, test subjects actually survive the “enrichment process”. The people who are “still alive” are those who are simply those fortunate enough to not be test subjects. Being an Aperture Science Enrichment Center test subject carries with it a sort of implied death sentence. 
Chell’s next stop? New Mombasa. :smack:
The cake is NOT a lie! I had some in the end with my beloved friend, the weighted companion cube. I named him Cubey. He whispers encouragements in my ear as I use him to go up stairs and weigh down super colliding super buttons. We’ll never be parted…
I loved me some Portal. I thought it’d be a straight up puzzle game but the whole “you’re a test rat in a twisted woman AI’s torture chamber” layer just threw it over the top for me. I was in awe when I found the first “insane room” where former test subjects went crazy and scribbled on the wall. Also the whole thing with the companion cube was messed up since GLaDOS is basically telling you that former subjects went insane here and thought the cube was telling them to stab people.
I knew GLaDOS would be great from the trailer but I didn’t expect the amount of dialogue she brought to the table. At times I just kept playing not only to see the next clever puzzle but because I wanted to hear her next hilarious and sadistic line. I can’t even pick my favorite, there are way too many good ones. You can listen to them all here (part 1 of 3).
As for those complaining it was too short, did you play it with developer commentary? What about the advanced missions? What about the challenges? The challenges are devious. I could definitely see someone playing this for ages just for competitive reasons. Try checking out youtube, there are some pretty crazy videos out there. I thought about doing a speed run of it but there are people out there who are way ahead of me on that front.
“While safety is one of many enrichment center goals, the Aperature Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.”
“The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the even that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.”
“While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.”
“Didn’t we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire and I said “Goodbye.” and you were like “No way!” and then I was all “We pretended we were going to murder you.”? That was great.”
“First you will be baked, and then there will be cake.”
“‘Hello.’ That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound!”
“There was going to be a party, you know. There was cake, and all your friends were invited. Even your companion cube. But he couldn’t come, because you murdered him.”
Did you know that you can donate one or more of your organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It’s true!
Contact with the floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death.
…in layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
I’ve never met an AI that was so quotable.
I went through Portal again last night; now that I’ve been through it once it’s a lot easier to do it a second time. I was trying for more achievements though, so I was knocking all the cameras off the walls and trying to fall 30,000 feet (the latter of which takes way longer than it’s worth, and unless your portals line up perfectly, you have to watch your trajectory the whole way.) I’m still working out how to jump 300 feet, though I think it involves wall-to-floor portal loops. I could be wrong though.
Zero Punctuation’s “Yahtzee” unleashed his uproariously funny review of The Orange Box today. If you don’t laugh at least a dozen times at this, you aren’t a Valve fan.
You wouldn’t like it out there. A lot has changed since the last time you were outside…
I was just going to mention that line. A reference to the Seven Hour War, perhaps?
The Seven Hour War? Please. It’s obviously a reference to the G-Man who is, of course, Gordon Freeman from the future, disguised as an Aperture Science Companion Cube to secretly observe Chell because she has a great ass. Why? What’s the link between GLaDOS and G-Man and Gordon and the Garden Gnome and Gabe Newell? Well, they all start with G, so they’re all the same person. I think this is all the evidence we need, and it’s only a matter of time before my theory is substantiated in Episode Three.
Portal was much more fun then I expected, thanks in large part to the spectacularly quotable GLaDOS. Now to try out all the extras!
You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve even done, including this thing. You’re not smart. You’re not a scientist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
And as with the best of the SHODAN quotes, you can’t appreciate GLaDOS’s quotes unless you hear them the way that only a malfunctioning computer can say them. In this case, the pitch, tone, and speed of GLaDOS’s speech was getting all jacked up as she talked.
If only my computer would say something jacked up when it malfunctions.
Anyone finished the Portal Advanced Maps and won their cake? Found the HL2 easter eggs? Found the Portal easter eggs? Gotten the Garden Gnome to the rocket? Something interesting besides quoting the game? Or perhaps we should to change the thread topic to “GLaDOS: The Best Of”?
Interesting that no one’s yet mentioned Portal’s most interesting egg involving any number of the computer keyboards at the Enrichment Center …
