They must be, there is no other explanation for it. I buy groceries approximately once a week, and it is usually say, ten to twelve bags per trip. The milk and the juice might get double bagged, so I am gaining about sixteen bags per week, approximately.
I use two a day for the cat boxes, and hubby uses two to three a week to take a lunch to work. I use them as liners for my bathroom garbage cans, so that’s two more per week. I use them to throw out messy leftovers in the garbage, maybe one or two times a week. Not to mention that I throw out any with holes in them(so I won’t have a cat litter trail through the house).
If they aren’t spawning, why do I have dozens upon dozens of these things crowding up the cabinet under the sink?
Ugh, these things are a menace to be sure!! Now the grocery stores have started double bagging things like bottles of detergent or pop, etc…I’ll buy $20.00 worth of stuff and end up with like 20 plastic bags!
Some of the grocery stores around town have bins where you can drop off your giant wads of baggies to be recycled, so I try to remember to do that once or twice a month, that cuts down on them a bit.
Well, you’ve guess it. there is sexual activity under your cabinet.
I believe the life cycle of the common grocery bag is obscure, since they only mate when they have a large enough population. Don’t expect to get just a pair to have offspring, they just won’t do it. It’s speculated that they require at least a dozen for successful reproduction.
They tend to stay in dark places. Their young, (sandwich bags) are very shy, until they lose their zips and change to their adult color, usually brown or white, but all colors can be seen in different areas of the country.
The young tend to cling together in small boxes, pushed to the back of the drawer or cabinet.
As the adults age, they migrate to the bottom of nearby closets, where they die. You can often find their clear, thin bodies wrapped around mating wire hangers.
It’s uncertain if their presence is required for successful hanger reproduction, since the hanger offspring are often lost during the pupal phase. The hanger population has dwindled over the past several years, so study is more important than ever.
Once the hanger have successfully mated, paperclips are born. They race through the house, climbing into drawers, under couches and into unused coffee cups. Since they are hardy and mobile in this stage, they often seem more plentiful.
Unfortunately, they tend to all pupate together, usually just before you need one. Their pupal stage is the safety pin. Since, the paperclips have to hide to pupate, and the pupal stage is short, you don’t find them very often, and when you do, they’re gone again when you actually need one. you might find small under developed ones in odd places, but those don’t usually survive.
Once they’ve emerged from their safety pin, they once again co-mingle on the closet floor, starting the cycle over again.
I’m intrigued, picunurse, but I suspect that twist-ties play some vital role in this lifecycle. Obviously, more research needs to be done in this area.
We have an overabundance of plastic grocery bags, too. We used to live in an apartment complex, and so used the bags as our every-day garbage bags and tossed one down the chute every day or two (in addition to using them for the cat litter). Now we only have large-bag garbage pickup twice a week at the curb, so we haven’t been using them as quickly and they just keep piling up. They are overflowing out of the IKEA plastic bag holder that we have installed in the pantry door.
We are slowly getting into the habit of remembering to bring our reusable grocery bags to to the groceries, so hopefully we will be able to slow down the earnest reproduction of plastic bags!
Our Booster Club helps furnish the apartments for the unmarried hockey players - the team leases the apartments and furniture, and we supply bedding, towels, kitchenware, etc… At the end of last season I went with two other BC members to start clearing the apartments where the players had already left town. I went into the kitchen and started putting everything up on the counter to be boxed up and inventoried for next season. I started clearing under the sink and volia! The space from the cabinet door to the wall, under the counter (about a four foot space) was completely packed with plastic grocery bags. I don’t think the three guys in that apartment had thrown away one bag in the 6 months they were in the apartment. I felt like a mole, tunneling in the dark through the bags. I called the others in to witness my find - they were speechless.
I have now found out that the three guys will be returning to play for us again this season. I am looking forward to asking them about the bags.
God in His wisdom knows how disturbed we are when we lose socks in the dryer, so He replaces them with the grocery bags. Do not question the will of the Lord!
Picunurse, how do you explain spare change appearing behind sofa cushions?
