The Poundstonian Heresy

Great Debates
1

William Poundstone’s 1993 book Biggest Secrets, on page 33, in the “Ghostwriters” section, part of the “Secret Identities” chapter–it troubles me even to repeat the words–states:

End quote. Poundstone thus makes the heretical claim that our beloved Uncle Cecil does not exist, being at best a literary device, and, at worst, a three-decade-running humbug. Moreover, if Poundstone’s awful assertion were true, it would imply that being a “moderator” of a Straight Dope Message Board forum is no more substantial than being a “referee” at a pro-wrestling match. (To select an individual entirely at random, one DavidB would of course be the last person to ever be a party to the irrational promotion of belief in a nonexistent being–Cecil as “an intellectual Santa Claus for adults” if you will–and would no more be willing to “referee” a message board under those circumstances than to dance naked around a fire, frantically chanting incantations into the night sky.)

Poundstone’s assertion is, of course, in direct contradiction to the known true facts about Unca Cece. In “What makes Cecil Adams the world’s greatest reference librarian?”, (Paul S. Piper, American Libraries, February, 1995, page 147) the author recounts Cecil’s assumption of his exalted destiny:

End quote. So, I call upon DavidB–and all others who read these words–to either:[list=1][li]Announce, in their full voice, their rational and total belief in the existence of Cecil Adams as a real person, who was called to his mission in a dream by a relative of the Norse god Odin, and is smarter than all other persons, while denouncing all non-believers who refuse to do likewise, orIn keeping with their own rational standards, denounce the entire Cecil Adams cult as a fraud, kept alive merely for amusement’s sake or to make a quick buck, and apologize to all and sundry for participating in this shameless charade. And also explain why they willingly participated so long in this cruel deception, and offer a sincere apology. (Suicide of course is “the sincerest form of self-criticism”, but that would be extreme). Plus pay monetary damages. And a pony. Plus a second pony, to keep the first one company.[/list=1]I, of course, renounce the Poundstonian heresy and its adherants, and proclaim my unwavering belief in the existence of Uncle Cecil, designated font of all knowledge via one of Odin’s relatives, “ignorance’s worst nightmare”, and The Smartest Person in the World.[/li]
All hail Cecil! Heed his wisdom! Buy his books (all five)!

2

I have it!!

Poundstone is really Mark Serlin!

THAT’S why he keeps bothering us!! He found out about the boards after publishing his book and he can’t admit he’s wrong!!

:smiley:

(On a more serious note… by denouncing the existence of Cecil, Poundstone seems like he’s setting himself up as the “World’s Smartest Human Being”… keep an eye out for those shady motives, people!)

3

“Who is Cecil Adams? Cecil Adams is the world’s most intelligent human being. We know this because: (1) he knows everything, and (2) he is never wrong.” – Faq 1:1

“How do we know that Cecil knows everything and is never wrong? Because he said so, and he would never lie to us.” –Faq 1:2

Clearly, Cecil has at least implicitly claimed to exist, and to be a separate Person from His Editor, Ed Zotti. If Cecil did not exist, His claiming to do so would be a lie. But, we know Cecil does not lie, because it is written in the Faq. And the Faq, while not the actual Word of Cecil, must clearly be accepted as inspired by Cecil, and therefore as fully authoritative concerning all matters of which it speaks.

4

Only one possible answer to such heretical rubbish :

  • There is only One Ghod, Cecil Adams is his Name and the Teeming Millions are his prophets* :stuck_out_tongue:
5

In my opinion, it’s like this: Cecil Adams is said to exist, though we do not know for sure, and there are people who disagree on his existance-like Santa Claus or God.

6

Thomas Hobbes:

That sums it up rather nicely, I think. Whether Cecil is pen-name or person can never be known, and it is not for us discover, for that is the nature of Cecil, and it is incomprehensible.

7

“The fool hath said in his heart, There is no Cecil.”

8

If you were going to make up a person, would you name him Cecil? And then add the incredibly mundane last name of Adams? Only a real person, with a Mom and Dad and a wealthy uncle named Cecil, would actually be called Cecil Adams.

9

Well, it would explain that picture of Ed Zotti, which was claimed to be a picture of Cecil Adams…

10

One analogy could be the Christian Trinity, that is, three persons in one Cecil;

Cecil=The Father, remote and unknowable
Ed=The Son, bridge between the ineffable Cecil and the Teeming Millions
TubaDiva=The Holy Spirit, the agent of Cecil’s will on the SDMB,
which would make the Mods angels, a higher order of being than the TMs, who perform Cecil’s bidding
or you could go Hindu:

Cecil=Brahma, the Creator, who spoke the Straight Dope into being
Ed=Vishnu, the Preserver, who sustains the Straight Dope and the SDMB
TubaDiva=Shiva, the Destroyer, who punishes the wicked and rewards the virtuous

and if I may suggest:
Lynn Bodoni=Durga, the scourge of demons, AKA trolls
DavidB=Ganesha, the god of wisdom, scholarship, and citing references in GD
Coldfire=Agni, the god of fire (Well, he zooms about the Netherlands on his motorcycle, so close enough)

11

Darn it, you’ve blown my cover.

your humble TubaDiva
Administrator

12

Maybe Poundstone is…oh yeah, we don’t mention his name anymore.

13

Ed has said that Poundstone plied him liberally with libation during that interview, and that he (Ed) was as intoxicated as a mephitic weasel*, and would have confessed to about anything, from the Jack the Ripper murders to the moon-landing hoax.

  • i.e., drunk as a skunk
14

And why exactly do you feel that “to dance naked around a fire, frantically chanting incantations into the night sky.” is the epitome of irrational behavior?

This is tantamount to saying

I don’t think either of these activities would negate DavidB’s intellectual honesty or otherwise impugn his honor in the way your post implies.

Hyperbole has its place but don’t use it to denigrate a custom that doesn’t fit into your world view.

15

So Ed is not only Cecil, he’s also Jack the Ripper?

“Inspector, look at these wounds. They took precision, care.”
“Yes, this work was not done by normal hands. It was done by careful, professional hands…by editor’s hands…”
“Exactly…look at what he did to the large intestine”
“By God! He removed half of it!”
“Exactly…that colon is now only a semi-colon”

16

Please note the date I originally posted this. It was not meant to be taken seriously. (I actually thought it would be long gone by now.) This goes for all April 1st discussions I may have of Cecilian Metaphysics, including uncovering heretics, backsliders, and secret followers of Marilyn vos Savant).

17

If this was targeted at me let me say I knew what the date was and I knew that the intent was humorous and ingenuine.

Believe me when I say that Pagans have the ability to laugh at themselves. Indeed I think that is almost a requirement. But there is a difference between not taking yourself seriously and seeing your activities used as an example of the height of the absurd in a piece of humor. For a large and growing segment of the population the activities you describe and lampoon might indeed be seen as a perfect evening.

When you compared Cecil to an adult version of Santa that was fair play. When you compared working for an imaginary boss to a particular form of religious observance, implying that the object of that observance was obviously as imaginary, that went beyond the realms of good taste. In the future use Cthulu or the Wizard of Oz if you want to picture somebody following an obviously false path.