All creatures great and small, once exposed, will beg for bacon.
On that note:
PLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEE!!! I needthe bacon! C’mon man, gimme some bacon!
I have a confession, o Dopers.
I… do not like bacon. Nay, neither the crispy nor the limp.
You get this kit, and the kit is a little “tank”. It looks like this, and it’s about the size of my hand. It comes with these three pouches, marked 1, 2, and 3. Very cryptic. Also, a little yellow spoon-y thing that has a big scoop end and a small scoop end. That’s for feeding.
You put water into the tank, and the contents of pouch 1. You let that set for 24 hours. That stuff is cleaning up your nasty tap water. Then, you empty the contents of the pouch marked 2 into the water. Whee! Those are Sea Monkey eggs! They hatch immediately, and are naught but itty bitty specks in the tank, and very hard to see. They move in a strange, wiggly way. Instant life! You are now God.
The pouch marked 3 is Sea Monkey food. When they are teeny, you just feed them a scoop from the small end every three days.
You don’t have to clean the tank, it never gets dirty. It’s not really like keeping fish; Sea Monkeys are much less maintenence. They live and grow, produce asexually (as well as sexually? Am I remembering that right?) they die and the next generation lives on. You can get really goofy toys to go with them.
If they beg for bacon, give it to them. Then run.
Great. Now I’m craving bacon at 1 AM.
My daughter got some sea monkeys one Christmas. She was so excited as we set up the little tank and fed them after the little guys hatched. She even named some of them. And then my husband accidentally knocked the tank off the coffee table. All the sea monkeys tragically lost their lives in the accident and my daughter tearfully and soberly informed me that they were now…Carpet Monkeys. I tried not to laugh. Honestly, I did. 
I have sea monkeys on my desk at work. Instant popularity! Everyone wants to see them.
Some people have fish on their desks at work, and I was considering getting a fish but they can get expensive and I was afraid I’d kill them (I had a siamese fighter one time, he died after about a month). So when I saw sea monkeys in the Australian Geographic shop, I knew I had to get them.
My colony’s about ten or so. It started off with just one, but now they keep having babies. And eating the babies. One spent two weeks just doing doughnuts on the bottom of the tank. Some are reddish, some are just a whiteish colour. They keep mating. And mating. And mating. Then they have some more babies and eat the babies.
I never thought to give them bacon.
They produce sexually, however if there’s only females left in the tank they can reproduce asexually. I think that’s how my colony started growing. For ages I only had the one female in there, then suddenly there’s a whole bunch of babies.
And I’ve just remembered I forgot to feed them, and won’t be back at work until monday. Oops. I’m sure they’ll live.
Your [friend’s] ideas intrigue me and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I like mine extra super dooper floppy*.
I have eaten raw bacon. Kids, don’t try this at home.
Maybe over the weekend, they’ll pop out some babies to munch on.
All I can picture is my one friend doing his impression of Arnold from Predator “We have a bacon situation!”
It’s not funny typed. Think of it with the accent and lots of gusto… oh, forget it.
OK, Bacon=Sea Monkeys.
What do we need to prepare to get Flying Monkey Butlers?
Stephen King’s PET SEMATARY would then be a feel-good madcap comedy full of wacky hijinks!
(I think I used all the adjectives & nouns which, if I see in a review or promo for a comedy, guarantee that I will never watch it.)
ooo sea monkeys! My brother bought me some few years back when i was totally bedridden, and i too, added that packet with great expectations only to get…
nothing.
however after a few days these tiny dots were seen moving around of their own accord, and soon became the horny beasts as described by Sierra Indigo. As well as all the mating, a pair of males would often lock horns in a tumbling fight for a while. My kit came with a hand pump to air the water (sending the little buggers swirling round in a mini whirlpool.) and a thing to catch a monkey in by sucking it up. It was the shooting it out again i found more amusing. They didn’t seem to mind.
My… um… well then.
You drank… your cousins?
:dubious:
One hopes you had the, er, decency to put them out of their misery first…
And just how do you know that? How would you know if they did mind it? Would they ban togther and refuse to do what? Reproduce? Swim? I mean, how in the world does one tell if the Sea Monkeys are happy or sad or bored? Oh, won’t someone think of the poor Sea Monkeys?
I like my bacon crisp. No, let me rephrase that–I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE bacon when it’s crispy. Hallboy and I can eat an entire pound in one setting. Ha, I could eat one pound in an entire setting.
We had a sea monkeys a couple of times as kids, but I never really understood what they were. I’m also not sure if they ever grew the way they were supposed to. I’m also quite sure I thought I would see the domestic mom, dad and kiddie scene portrayed on the container.
I prefer sausage to bacon but bacon is not bad either. My friend rarely cooks but when he does, he makes breakfast of pancakes (plain and blueberry) and six pounds of bacon. AAAAAAAAAHHH!
Ahh, the one serving size.
When I was a boy, we had a Saturday Morning Ritual.
Mom would sleep in, Dad would fry up 2 packages of Bacon, in a big old cast iron skillit, & my siblings & I would all have Bacon Sandwiches on white bread with ketchup for breakfast.
Good times.
Mmmmm…bacon. But six pounds? For how many people?
I always wanted sea monkeys when I was little. But I figured they had to be too good to be true. I had no idea there were so many kinds of kits out there (those links were kinda scary, Anastasaeon). Maybe I, too, will become a sea-monkey mommy. Sea monkeys and BLT sandwiches sound good.
Maybe I’ll have a BLT for breakfast, at least.
GT
Bacon, the candy bar of meat. Jack, of Jack in the Box.
Now, I’m craving one of their artery clogging bacon double cheeseburgers!
EWWWW!!! You put KETCHUP on BACON???
You are obviously some sort of mutant, and I most seriously do NOT wish to subscribe to your newsletter!