The Pros and Cons of Flame-Retardant Babies

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As heard in recent news coverage:[

](http://english.epochtimes.com/news/5-7-28/30601.html)Pro: Hey! Flame-retardant babies!

Con: A variety of cancers and other ailments.

Pro: But hey! Flame-retardant babies!
…That sort of does it for my list. Any others?

2

They are being bred for a future as a NASCAR professionsl
.

3

CON: longer roasting times.

4

And you can’t dispose of them in the fireplace if they’re funny-looking.

5

PRO: we no longer have to hear women scream “My baby! My baby!” while their apartment buildings burn down.

6

Flame retardant’s nice, but it’s the Teflon aspects that intrigue me. A development like this could doom the baby wipes industry overnight.

7

From the maternal standpoint, a Teflon nonstick baby sure would feel a lot better slidin’ out.

8

** PRO: ** The soylent green will be already non-stick

9

CON: They get older. Flame retardant teenagers would be one of the most dangerous forces on earth.