The R-Chip

So it appears thato ur fine friends in Congress are once again finding time in their busy schedules to determine what everyone else should and shouldn’t be seeing on television. Now a few of you might be thinking that the answer is fairly simple: everyone should see exactly what they want to see, and can turn the set off if something comes on which they don’t want to see. That makes sense to me as well, but luckily more intelligent voices are here to show us a better way. Kevin Martin, FCC Chairman:

Lovely logic. I am bowled over. However, before I run to get onboard with the new brand of censorship, my brain happened to dredge up some memories from about six years ago. It was then, as you may recall, that Congress passed legislation requiring that every TV set sold in America contain a V-Chip. The V-Chip allows parents to block out programming with ratings set at a certain level. This seems like fairly decent common sense, at least by Congressional standards. What my brain recalls, however, was how gaga various folks were over the powers of the V-Chip. The V-Chip would give us a weapon against indecency. It would put power in the hands of parents. It would allow children to be raised in a clean and healthy environment. If the V-Chip didn’t cure cancer, save the rhinoceros from extinction and protect planet Earth against incoming asteroids, it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.

This brings up a question. If the V-Chip was such a wonderful tool with which to defeat indecency, then why do we still have indecency? Why are our lovely Senators and Representatives still on the case, battling tirelessly day and night to save the children from seeing things on a box in their living rooms? Could it be that all the hype about the wonders of the V-Chip six years ago was wrong, or at least exaggerated?

Then it came to me: we don’t need a V-Chip. What we need is an R-Chip.

Yes, that’s right. If we want our children to grow up in a clean and sanitary environment, free from pernicious influences, if we want them to become healthy and strong individuals, then what we need is a way to prevent them from seeing Republicans. To that end, I propose that all televisions should be required to contain the R-Chip. This will allows parents to block out programming above one of four levels:

TV-DI: Contains only Democrats and independents.

TV-M: Contains moderate Republicans.

TV-BAO: Contains Bush administration officials.

TV-TS: Contains Ted Stevens

To be fair, rhinos haven’t gone extinct, and no asteroids have hit the Earth. Two out of three ain’t bad!

Daniel

Possibly one of the lamest and most idiotic “pittings” ever.

ITR, you oughtta be ashamed of yourself. Is that the best you could do? The “R” chip? :rolleyes:

I’m sure your next effort will be better. :smiley:

Well, Ted Stevens can go choke on pork - but if Congressional Commerce Commitee ‘pressure’ leads to a voluntary A la Carte Programming option from the cab/sat industry, you won’t ear too many people - including the FCC’s Kevin Martin & Cablevision’s Charles Dolan - complaining.

So you want to blame Congress for the V-Chip debacle?

Here’s a fun game for you. Who said the quote listed below?

“But if every parent uses this chip wisely, it can become a powerful voice against teen violence, teen pregnancy, teen drug use, and for both learning and entertainment. The responsibility of parents to do this is something they deserve and something they plainly need. Now that they have it they must use it.”

I’ll give you a hint. It wasn’t a member of Congress.

Another hint. He was one of the biggest proponents of the V-Chip technology.

Give up? Here’s the answer.

He wasn’t the only proponent either.

P.S. You are ignorant.

Yeah, I’m really hoping the a la carte option goes ahead. There’s about two channels that I’d like to get , but there’s no way I’m paying fifty bucks a month to get them; if they’re offered by themselves, however, I’d jump at the chance.

Daniel

Might want to take another pass at reading the OP, 'cause that’s not even remotely what it’s about.

So this is all Clinton’s fault then? Because of the blowjob?

You’re right, of course. I don’t know what could have given me that idea.

Except for the first sentence

But I see your point. The main thrust of the OP is that we need an ‘R-Chip’ instead of a ‘V-Chip’, which as JohnT so correctly pointed out, is possibly one of the lamest and most idiotic “pittings” ever.

My bad.

If I get a tv with a R-Chip on it, does that mean I get to put on of those nifty “Type-R” stickers on the side of the TV? :smiley:

PsychoPirate, I think the OP is trying to say that the VChip was a decent idea, and should work just fine to keep eeeeevil influences from our precious fragile children. Only the Pubbies are still pounding the drum trying to get broadcasters to stop making “inappropriate” shows in the first place. That fucking moron Bozell thinks that “indecent” shows are potholes to be fixed, instead of legitimate entertainment for adults.

Screw that, I like indecent entertainment, and we already have a system that people can use to avoid it. All they need to do is turn it on.

I wouldn’t necessarily mind an a-la-carte cable system, though. I have a really hard spot in my heart for cable companies (thanks to Cablevision’s unending bullshit centered around my local sports franchises) so they can go pound salt if they don’t like it.

And where is the V-Chip mentioned in that sentence?

What’s so lame about it, precisely? Some congressional republicans, at the behest of various “family” groups, have decided that it’s not enough to allow people to make up their own minds about what’s indecent, they have to decide for them. It’s not enough that people can choose not to buy a TV, or choose not to subscribe to cable, or choose not to watch channels that carry programs they don’t like, or that individual programs are labeled with age-appropriateness warnings, or that all TVs now come equipped with technology that blocks certain programs automatically: they’ve decided that those programs must not exsist at all, because some people don’t like them. Did you read the link? Some of the comments from these lobbying groups are pretty galling:

Doesn’t matter if some people actually want to watch that stuff: he wants it gone. First Ammendment? Screw that! He doesn’t like it, and he gets to be the arbiter of what everybody gets to watch.

What, precisely, is your objection to the OP?

Damn straight.

Cheesesteak, thanks for the clarification.

It isn’t mentioned in that sentence. However, let me give you my comprehension of the OP.

Congress is characterized as once again finding time in their busy schedules to determine what everyone else should and shouldn’t be seeing on television. If they are doing it once again, they must have done it before, right? And what would that before be? In the second paragraph:

So Congress passed the V-Chip legislation. But then the OP goes on to make a point of how some people “went gaga” over the alleged benefits of the V-Chip. He then lamely rounds out the OP by saying we need an R-Chip, which is a pointless and ignorant dig at Republicans. The only point I was trying to make is that a couple of people who were so “gaga” over that legislation, sadly, wouldn’t be blocked out by the R-Chip (although one of them would be blocked out by TV-MA).

Well you have mischaracterized the debate nicely. Did you read the link? Did you skip over the part where the ‘dreaded’ Ted Stevens “said he’d like to avoid more government mandates.”? They aren’t trying to decide for them. Some families are fed up that they get access to offensive (to them) programming with their cable subscription. It is the same thing as a family subscribing to “Better Homes and Gardens” and “Readers Digest”, and the subscription company bundling in “Maxim”. Sure, the family doesn’t have to watch the programming, but some families resent the fact that they are paying for these channels in the first place. Plus, these blocking technologies are great, but in most of the families I know, the kids are much more tech savvy than the parents. These systems can be beaten, and without much difficulty. That’s just the way it is.

I’m torn on this issue. While I don’t agree with what Brent Bozell or any of those who are trying to censor what is being broadcast, I think that America is coarsening, and that this coarsening is largely due to what we view on television. Some of this violence and language is so pervasive that it is hard to avoid, no matter what chip you wish to use. Having said that, I am against censoring private broadcast content, but I do think that companies should be heavily fined when they broadcast content that is more mature than the program’s designation.

It is a lame attempt to blame this on republicans, just because Ted Stevens is the chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee. Brent Bozell doesn’t speak for all republicans, you know. Also, you do realize that congressional democrats are almost as likely as republicans to support “censorhip”, don’t you? Most of the house democrats voted for the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act in February (all but 36).

Was the percentage of republicans voting for it about the same as the percentage of democrats? What are the full stats on this?

Oh, tee hee, another Repugnikans R t3h suxx0r!!11! thread. Never enough of those.

I need a D-Chip for my monitor so Dumbass OPs like this one won’t show up.

If I recall correctly, only one Republican voted aganst it, so the republicans certainly can be pointed to as more supportative of this measure than republicans. I guess I just got a little too annoyed at the OP than I should have, since the OP seemed to be placing the blame solely on the shoulders of republicans. YMMV.

Er, uh, make that more supportive of this measure than democrats.

Preview is my friend.

Yeah, well. The problem with this is that the cable companies aren’t the guys who’re standing the road blocking a la carte offerings. It’s the content providers; in order for a cable company to provide certain channels, the content providers (like HBO, or Encore, or MTV, or ESPN) require the cable operators to take a package of channels in order to get the most popular programming - most of the channels in those packages are only of marginal interest to the consumer base. The content providers do this, in order to artificially inflate their outlet numbers so they can promise advertisers more exposure and charge them more. There’s a kind of evil synergy there that the cable operators can’t break through. But they’d certainly like to. The cable operators would love to be able to offer premium progrmming a la carte. Not only do they think they could reclaim some of their broadcast spectrum by eliminating unwanted channels, they believe a la carte offerings would make for a more efficient, and increased, revenue stream.

Some of the work I do here, involves assembling channel line-ups for video operators. We’ve done this for a number of independent cable operators. And now that a lot of the little local telephone companies are looking at providing video services, we’re working with them on channel line-ups, too. In fact, my company has current contracts with 8 ILECs in Ohio to do just this.

Fair enough, thanks for the clarification.

The fallout after last year’s Super Bowl comes to mind.