The Rapid Mythification of The Star Wars Prequels

Cafe Society
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I stood in line for 8 hours to get tickets for the midnight premiere of Episode I.

I battled my fellow nerd friends with homemade lightsabers in line for Episode II.

And, needless to say, I’m starting to get excited for Episode III.

But one fact has been consuming me like an X-Wing-filled swamp without a geriatric Jedi Master:

Thus far, the prequels have been, if nothing else, very painful to experience.
If your opinion differs from my own please feel free to start a thread devoted to explaining away Jar-Jar and “softer than sand”. Trust me, I’d love to have my opinion changed.

But I digress, the reason I have created this thread is to enable Star War’s devotees with a backup plan should Episode III be as painful as its predecessors that will allow us all to appreciate the fall of Anakin and the rise of Luke without having to acknowledge the agony of George Lucas’s “creative vision”.

Without further ado may I present:

The Rapid Mythification of The Star Wars Prequels

All memorable stories eventually are stripped of the whims and particularities of their original tellers as they are retold. Because of this fact we are all to some degree familiar with Ulysseus, Rocky (boxer or squirrel), the Ninja Turtles (guess my generation ;)) and countless of characters and stories. We, if in remembering we hope to reminisce, remember the memorable plot and characters free of poor production, bad acting, “creative vision”, etc.

Should Episode III be as traumatic as I and II I suggest we simply speed this process up.

Upon leaving the theatre, or (if you must express your disdain, a few days later) simply talk about the events of Episode III as if they were a rather vivid memories of a story reated sometime earlier in life.

Simple as that.

An escape from reality? Yes.
Overly-complex? Yeah.
Nerd? Unapologetic? Defintely.
Kidding? Mostly.

Please dicuss. (A little.)

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(I was going to put this in the Cafe, but it doesn’t feel right. Mod preference, of course, goes ;))

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Is your last name Coen, by any chance?

Damnit… I let it drop that I watch the O.C. - I’ll never live this down :smack:

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Was he the super-cool guy who was playing with the figurines? :wink:

(never seen the O.C.)

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My midichlorons are telling me this belongs in Cafe Society. So I think I’ll force it over there.

  • SkipMagic
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There is precedent here with other sci-fi/fantasy films. I once heard the myth that a sequel to Highlander had been made and, indeed, vaguely recall a dream I had once in which I went to see it. Suffice it to say, I’m glad I’ve since grown up and thus do not believe such silly stories any more.

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Prequels? What prequels?

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I wouldn’t know anything about this. Perhaps it is the same crazy-talk that some people believe there are multiple Batman and Matrix movies.

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TRY to forget godawful dialogue, eyeroll-inducing coincidences, tepid romances, shameless stealing from =Ahem!= I mean, homages to a zillion other movies, lame “scientific” explanations of the Force, profoundly annoying sidekicks, relentless marketing, aggressive merchandising, and cardboard actors?

Well… as Master Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”

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If you’re really worried, you can download the screenplay of starwars.com and read it. That’ll give you at least some sense of whether it’s going to suck or not.

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should be “off starwars.com”

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Someone just emailed me Kevin Smith’s early review of Ep III and it was glowing - made me completely excited, as well. Hopefully it’s legit.

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First of all let me say that I enjoyed Episode 1 and Episode 2 so heres a few pointers for enjoying Episode 3:
Don’t nitpick over every inconsistancy.
It’s not going to be as good as the original Star Wars, get over it.
Jar Jar was annoying, get over it
Midiclorians are the stupidest idea since lighting fireworks indoors, get over it.
In other words enoy the movie as a movie, not as some epic film destined to go down in history as the greatest thing since Birth Of A Nation.

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I enjoyed Eps I ad II much more when I saw them a second time, bnecause I realized that I orginally saw them with such high expectations that I was setting myself up. I don’t think they are fantastic masterpeices, there are many weaknesses, but they are pretty entertaining nonetheless.

One thing that helped tremendously in watching Ep. II was with Anakin’s horrible dialogue when he was with Amadala. If you think of it as a young guy with little experience with wgirls trying to be sweet and romantic and he comes up with, “sand is gritty” (or whatever he says. I don’t believe that was what Lucas was going for, but the dilaogue works as goofy awkward teen-ager lovespeak somewhat effectively.

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A love that changed the universe:

ANAKIN: You are so beautiful to me, like sand.

AMIDALA: That’s hot.

ANAKIN: But I killed them, don’t you see? I slaughtered them all.

AMIDALA: Stop, you’re turning me on.

ANAKIN: Even the women and children! Look, I still have blood all over me.

AMIDALA: That’s it, take me now!

ANAKIN: Sweet.

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I like it, BBLV! The only thing that would make it better is if we could get Ashton Kutcher to play Anakin …

Ouch! Stop throwing things at me!

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And Paris Hilton as Amidala, eh?

Actually, I thought Hayden Christiansen pulled off the perfect frat-boy/potential date-rapist vibe in ever scene he shared with her. I kept expecting him to use the Force to manipulate her into falling in love with him, since he wouldn’t have much chance with his personality.

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gets ready to run from the flames as she types this

I like the prequels better than the original trilogy.

First of all, I don’t care much for going in-depth into the sci-fi. I feel in the original movies, Lucas focused too much on his special effects. It seemed the first 3 films were about the feats made in the technology. Now, we just see a computer generated locale and nod, instead of ooh-ing and ahh-ing.

But most of all, I just love the characters and plot more. I don’t like Han Solo or Harrison Ford, I don’t like Luke Skywalker or Mark Hamill, but I love Qui-Gon Jinn and Liam Neeson and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ewan McGregor. And I love the focus on characterization and how things came to be instead of the endless battles of the originals.

Of course, this could all be because I’m 18. Or because I like drama and politics more than action and comedy. But I do agree with you all - Jar Jar must go. But he only marginally bugs me more than C-3P0.

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[QUOTE=kushiel
First of all, I don’t care much for going in-depth into the sci-fi. I feel in the original movies, Lucas focused too much on his special effects. It seemed the first 3 films were about the feats made in the technology. Now, we just see a computer generated locale and nod, instead of ooh-ing and ahh-ing.
[/QUOTE]

Just for the record, we didn’t “ooh and aah” over the computer generated locales because THERE WERE NO COMPUTER GENERATED LOCALES.

The big computer assisted effect in the original films was a camera which could seamlessly match up the apparent motion of the model spaceships with the backgrounds. Model work, matte work, ruber masks, all the old-tyme special effects done to perfection.

(I went to the re-release of the first film with the new computer effects and was unimpressed. Lucas made the film too damn busy with his new toys.)

Disclaimer: After *Phantom Menace * I had no desire to see *Attack of the Clones * and no interest in Sith Happens.

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Whoa…I don’t know what universe you live in but there’s 50 times more effects in the new movies then there ever was in the old. (and as mentioned there was no CGI to look at back then you’re seeing models on string)

Take a look at the First Star Wars you get to see a Star Destroyer a battle aboard the ship then the droids escaping. Then a long period of character development and story with few real shots of F/X. In Phantom Menace we get to see a battle…that goes on and on with the fighting droids roughly 10 times the length. Then the fall to the planet…a run from the invasion…And underwater city (more needless F/X showcasing) a long long underwater chase. Then finally we get to the plot. What was the whole pod race but a long tech reel? You have it backwards Lucas was actually forced to have a plot in the originals (no matter how much he robbed from Fantasy clichés) in this new one every time you start thinking about how terrible the plot is he goes “Hey look something shiny!”

Take some time and count the battles and their lengths in the original and then count the battles and their length in the prequels and I think you’ll be surprised.

Drama and politics? You should check out Shogun painfully stilted actors going through cheesy dialogue isn’t drama. And the ‘politics’ in this show is painfully naive.

Now I’m not saying all this because you like the new ones I wouldn’t care if you did. I also am aware of how bad the originals have aged (I watched them all recently after years of having them sit on my shelf and was surprised how bad they seemed to me now) but nearly everything you said was the exact opposite of my experience with the new movies.