You’re all glossing over the most troubling part of this predicament: If Cheney dies, that leave the presidency in the hands of George W. Bush!
:shudder:
Dream on, Diceman. Our natural modesty generally keeps us from bragging, but our conspiracy is way vaster than yours. Liberals have the media (except Rush), the courts, the unions, college students, Hollywood, feminazis, New York, blacks, Jews, Oregon, gays, Massachusetts, secular humanists, California, tree huggers, drug users, Minnesota, sexual deviants, rock’n’roll, and everyone who eats Ben&Jerry’s ice cream. Conservatives have Rush, the Texas penal system, and South Carolina. Hardly even worth the effort of stealing the country from you people.
Okay, Uke. I’ve got a big ol’ silly ear to ear grin on my puss. You’ve got a good point though. Where are all the jokes? I mean besides Little Nemo’s; that was superb.
The real reason I’m not terribly happy over Bush’s ascendancy is that I don’t care for him that much. I’m very much afraid his detractors will be proven correct that he’s a lightweight.
Now stay off my goddamned lawn. And if your ball comes over the fence again, I’m keeping it, ya little bastards.
If Rush becomes VP then William Howard Taft’s claim to fame as the fattest lard ass ever to hold office will be lost forwever. Let’s hope there’s a Krispy Kreme shop somewhere close to the West Wing.
GeorgeW: Can I play with the red 'phone. I wanna play with the red 'phone. Just one call, come on, lemme lemme lemme! I wanna play with the red 'phone!
Powell: Mr. President, what have we told you about the red 'phone? Now go outside and play. And don’t get too dirty before dinner, Chuck Heston and the Thomases are coming over.
“George W: Can I play with the red 'phone. I wanna play with the red 'phone. Just one call, come on, lemme lemme lemme! I wanna play with the red 'phone!”
Thanks, plnnr. Now you’ve given me the mental image of George W. as the Mayor of Townsville, calling the Powerpuff Girls . . .
Would Coldfire move over her if Rush became vice president(s)? And wouldn’t their inherent Canadianism prevent their approval?
forwarded to me today…
BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
Bush to be smitten later today
In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the “one nation, under God” clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last night’s Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.
“I’m not sure where the Supreme Court gets off,” God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, “but I’m sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit.”
“I’ve watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida ‘will never be known.’ Well, I’m God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let’s cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes.”
Shocking political analysts and pundits, God’s unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analysing God’s Word for possible grounds for appeal.
“God’s ruling is a classic over-reach,” argued Bush campaign strategist Jim Baker. “Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of Florida.”
“Jim Baker’s a jackass,” God responded. “He’s got some surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean.”
God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to “a friggin’ idiot.”
“Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don’t believe me? I’ll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron…”
Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush’s prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush’s goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labour in a salt mine and afflicted him with deep boils.
Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
Psst…hey…guys…let’s wait until after 10 pm and then we’ll go and TP Uncle Beer’s place! He’ll like, soooo freak!
Actually, Bush is going to reproduce assexually, so that our VP will be, George W. Bush2. So it will be Bush and Bush2 for the next four years…
Eve:
Looks like this turned into a joke thread, Eve, but do you actually have sources to back up this claim? Even if you can’t name them, I’d love to hear corroborating details.