Picked it up at the library, I’m halfway through, not liking it much, and don’t think I’ll finish.
There were a couple things that bugged me early on, like how King works in pop culture references and makes sure you know exactly which ones he means. Like a character says something like, “why that reminds me of that woman from the insurance commercial! Flo.” OK, so some dork might actually talk like that. Fine.
Then a teacher walks up to a student and asks, “have you read The Fixer yet? That book I gave you? By [author’s name]?” To which any normal smart aleck kid would say (or at least think), “oh, I thought you meant the other book you gave me called The Fixer.”
I liked King a lot when I was younger, even the admitted howlers like Tommyknockers, so I think it’s not him, it’s me. But while I’m ragging on the book, let me also mention how lame the characters are.
Dan: Hi, I was a total scumbag, meaning I once swiped a few bucks, a horrible horrible thing for which I’ll never forgive myself, and, oh yeah, almost forgot, I used to get in barfights all the and for all I know I killed people. Anyway, now I’m all heroic. Seriously, I’m pretty much a saint. I have magic powers and it never even crosses my mind to profit from them.
Abra: Hi, I’m a totally normal teen, you can tell because of all my pop references! Game of Thrones! Fruit Ninja! I’m also all heroic, like, totally! I also have no imagination at all, just like Dan.
Both: Together, we fight crime!
Rose: Hi, I’m Rose, I’m super scary except most of the time, which means hardly ever. Did you notice how convenient it is that we can’t fly in planes? I mean, convenient for the heroes, not for me. Also, how the hell did we survive in medieval Europe, when people didn’t travel much and getting around was a serious ordeal?
Yeah, no.