How in God’s name do they get an insurance policy for the tour?
I mean, the broker takes one look at Keith, and you’d think he’d say, nope, no way, not touching this one with a ten-foot pole.
Are you kidding? Keith has proven time and time again that he’s unkillable.
I’d be more concerned about Mick’s replacement heart valve, though I’m sure he sprang for genuine Mopar® parts.
MoPAR: Most Original Parts Are Replaced
I seem to remember some throway scene in some comedy movie-there was a background poster for the Stones “Steel Wheelchair Tour”. That had to be current to the tour, which was 32 years ago!
That was from a Simpsons episode playing in the future, about Lisa going to college in England. They had a poster of “The Rolling Stones - Steel Wheelchair Tour 2010”.
Ah, here’s the panel:
https://www.cheatsheet.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/the-simpsons-rolling-stones-768x518.jpg
Ha!
Eleven years “later”, Lisa is still nine years old, and the Stones are still touring without wheel chairs, or even walkers.
I saw The Stones on the Voodoo Lounge tour – Halloween Night 1994 at the Oakland Coliseum (I still have the cardboard mask they gave out). No Bill Wyman, so that was a bit of a drag. Also, the main attraction for me was getting to watch Keef play and I was up in the stands–too far away to appreciate his moves even with binoculars. The show was okay, but not exactly a transcendent RNR experience.
But, seeing The Rolling Stones had always been a bucket list concert for me and I’m glad I went. The people going to this tour, will at least be able to say they saw them, which will be something to brag about in years to come.
That’s kind of the reason I’d like to see the No Filter tour–
“Yep, saw the Stones in '81, then 40 years later, I saw them again in '21.”
“Oh yeah? Which show was better?”
“Eh, it was about the same— The sound quality was muddy; Keith stood completely still with a cigarette in his mouth or stuck in the guitar strings back by the tuners, playing competently; Charlie was rock-solid on drums; and Mick ran around a lot and did his patented Mick moves.”
Strut, strut, strut, spin and…rooster… Schoolmarm…everybody’s naughty and…freeze finish! (starts at 2:05)
I saw them in '75 (yeah, I’m old). At Madison Square Garden. That was the tour with the giant inflatable dick. Which Mick did all kinds of stuff with - that was back in the days when bisexuality was fashionable. I don’t know if Mick ever crossed the line in his personal life or not, but he sure had fun playing it up on stage.
I had a great time. It was a lot of fun. And I’m glad I got to see them when Bill was still in the band. He’s a criminally underrated bass player.
I saw them back in 1978 at Anaheim Stadium. They played for over 2 hours with only a couple short breaks. I would imagine the breaks area bit longer now.
There was this, which may have just been drunken shenanigans, not that there’s anything wrong with it if it was more than that…
.I saw their No Filter tour in 2018 in Edinburgh. Laugh but the lads still got it. Mick can move far better and longer than I can.
The Onion should do a follow-up article:
HOUSEKEEPER WHO BRACED HERSELF TO FIND KEITH RICHARDS’ DEAD BODY EVERY DAY SINCE 1976 FOUND DEAD BY KEITH RICHARDS
Good one! 
The question I’ve asked myself since his cardiac operation: can he still do all these moves, prancing from one side of the stage to the other constantly? I have cardiac problems myself and got a stent six years ago, and I’m only 53. But of course I don’t work out like Mick, I’m sure he’s still fitter than me, but the heart will be mightily stressed on a tour. OTOH, can you imagine Mick doing a Stones concert standing still or even sitting?
His moves were looking pretty good in this clip six weeks after his surgery, though it’s just a few seconds dancing in place, not an entire concert of running around…
I’m thinking he could still put on a good show doing many of his patented moves in place, cutting out the constant running from one side of the stage to the other all night.
Friends saw the lads in Chicago after Mick’s stent and yep, he’s still moving approximately 13 miles per performance.
Sadly, there’s many more I missed. My buddy saw Howlin’ Wolf and I’m still jealous.
I actually performed onstage with the Stones in 2014 during their 14 On Fire Tour.
For their first encore, they had chosen the full album version of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want“ with the choir intro. In each city, they picked a local choir to do that intro and sing backup during the rest of the song. I was a member of a pretty good jazz choir at the time, and somehow, we ended umpiring chosen. It was pretty epic - we did a Sound Check on stage without the band, and later came together with them in a backstage area to run through the song once, and we had some back and forth.
Even though I’m not a huge Stones fan, it was a pretty awesome experience standing on the stage of the Berlin Waldbühne amphitheater and looking up to 20,000 people. After the song, we rushed into the audience area to watch “Satisfaction“. I’ll never forget that day…