Instead of an exception, there should be an amendment: One blow to the head is enough to knock out anybody if done unexpectedly from behind.
** Exploding Car Syndrome **
Almost all cars explode on or shortly after impact. It does not matter whether or not the gas tank has been ruptured.
Cite: Again, any action movie ever made.
It’s not just disasters. If the doctor says “I’d give her about 36 hours if we don’t find her” (Law & Order: SVU a few nights ago) then you know she won’t die for at least 35 hours and 50 minutes.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned this one:
In times of disaster, when the population is fleeing through the streets, there must be a lone child standing in the middle of the road, crying quietly, only to be snatched from danger at the last minute.
Last seen in Pirates of the Carribean
The Magic Exploding Bullets
Movie bullets will cause small explosions whenever they hit something to let the audience know that they did, in fact, hit something. This is true even when the object being hit is a tree.
Cite: Hard Target, with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Barry
Don’t think I’ve seen this one here yet…
The Law Of The Non-Starting Engine
When the good guy/guys are in a vehicle and they need to make a quick getaway because they are going to be rammed or something is trying to get into the car, the engine will not start until the last possible second.
Cites: Breakdown, Gone in 60 seconds etc.
The Wood Chopping of Impending Doom
Any character (not in a period piece) seen chopping firewood at his quiet cabin in the mountains is shortly going to be called out of “retirement” for one last, bloody, mission.
The chances of the cabin’s surviving the next reel are about 55%.
Star Trek: Generations. Commando. The Patriot.
The Telephone Time-Warp
When a character makes a telephone call, there is no need to wait for the other end to ring. Just dial the number and almost instantly the person at the other end will pick up.
The Telephone by the Bed Law
All characters who are married will have a telephone by the bed, which can be reached and answered withing 2 seconds of waking up.
** Potential In Law Change of Heart**
If the father of the girl who the hero wishes to date/marry HATES the hero this will change by the films end. The Hero will do something to prove himself and teh Father will always bregudgingly accept the arrangemnt with a “I guess you are alright after all.”
They never carry a grudge that would last beyond the film.
Convenient Auto Theft
All movie characters (both heroes and villains) know how to hot wire a car, and cars in movies are always conveniently lacking any antitheft devices that would prevent them from doing so.
You’d be surprised how often this happens in real life. Me and most of my friends have phased out “bye” in favor of the “So I’ll see you later?” “Yeah” exchange.
Again, something that I do all the time. Further, you’re bound to see more of his in real life as cell phones become yet even more common, and allow everyone to see who’s calling.
This is actually a subset of the villain-dispatching phenomenon known as Death By Gravity. I’ll illustrate.
A) In any action movie where the hero and villain dramatically face off in a high place near/over a dangerous plunge – like a skyscraper window, factory catwalk, or ravine – if the villain loses the fight, the villain will fall over the edge towards their messy death, which neatly precludes their needing to stand trial.
Examples: Joker in Batman, Hans Gruber in Die Hard, Peyton Flanders in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, the villains Ursula, Nog and Zod in Superman 2.
Big Exception: King Kong (He was shot, then he fell and died.)
B) Oftentimes the hero will forsake the unquestioned practicality of letting the villain just DIE already and reaches down to try to save him/her. Most of the time, the hero valiantly struggles, only to lose the villain’s grip. Sometimes the villain stays in character and refuses to accept the heroes’ help and chooses to be street pizza.
Examples: Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride.
C) Even if the villain falls, and you see the tight close-up of their terrorized faces, you never see them actually go ‘splat.’
Examples: Sharkey’s Machine.
Big Exception: Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns
D) If at any point during the movie the hero is required to jump/fall from a similar height as the villain, the hero will miraculously survive.
Examples: Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back, Dr. Kendall in The Fugitive, Chief Inspector Lee in Rush Hour.
Big Exception(s): Capt. Kirk in Star Trek: Generations and Rick Deckard in Blade Runner (he was saved by the villain before he fell)
Bad Guys Collective Fight Losing Contrivance
If there’s one good guy facing twenty villainous henchmen, all expert fighters and supposedly intent on killing him, they will contrive to lose the fight by tackling the good guy in manageable groups of ones and twos. This necessaitates that while the good guy is dealing with one or two baddies, the rest merely stand around looking vaguely active but not actually opposing the good guy at all. What’s more, villains will tend to attack in pairs in a very obliging way such that the good guy can off them both with visually pretty symmetrical moves and manoevres. These moves are of a type which no fighter could ever practice or rehearse because the opportunity to use them would be so statstically unlikely.
Cites: the vast majority of movies featuring fight scenes.
The Infinity Clip
In gunfights, guns can be fired indefinately without need to reload.
The Gun Plays its Part
The only exception being when the bad guy is holding the good guy at gunpoint. If he gets the opportunity to fire, the gun will jam and/or be empty.