The SDMB spontaneous blues jam thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

:: Walks in to the SDMB bar, sets up a Fender Twin Reverb amp, breaks out his Strat and steps up to the mike. ::

Good evening folks. Tonight’s open mike night. Join me in singin’ the blues…

{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
Have ya ever been mistreated…
{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
By dem wimmen on the boards
{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
Dey sho’ love struttin’ their stuff
{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
Lordy, lord, lord, lord
{Da da da da DUM - Dmaj7}
Does THespos ever get any lovin’?
{Da da da da DUM - Dmaj7}
No, he never get none.
{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
Jus’ a whole buncha teasin’
{Da da da da DUM - Amaj7}
Now that ain’t no fun.
{Strumming Emaj7}
Good lordy Miss Wyldelf
{Dmaj7 stop}
Tell me you ain’t no nun
{Back to Amaj7 - Stevie Ray Vaughan-style fill}

Give the drummer some…

2

[hijack] maj7 indicates something different from dominant, playing G# rather than G with an A root[/byejack]

[A]Woke up this morning
My friend was straight
He’s been married five years
And now he ain’t
[D]Now we’re confused
[D7]We’re friends with 'em both
[A]We don’t don’t know how to help
[E]And we’re [A]in pain
[E]And we don’t know how to help
[F#m]Now [D]all their love’s in vain
[A]All their [E]love’s in vain[A]*

*[sup]After Robert Johnson’s Love in Vain[/sup]

3

Bust out the kick-ass sax solo

4

My thread got killed by a Mod
And now I’m-a-roastin’ in the Pit
Sock-puppets and trolls
Lordy, I’m-a-sick of it
Gotta get me good GQ
Or a honey in MPSIMS
But my ISP just got hosed
And I’m payin’ for my sins
Yea, the boss found me out
Said I can’t post no more
Cause if he’s catchin’ me again
My ass 'll be kicked out that door

Ohhh, I got the S-D-M-B blues real bad…

5

Oops. Forgot the maj/min refers to the 7th and not the chord. Luckily, my high E-string is tuned down a half step.

:: Switches to neck pickup. Solos for a few bars. ::

Where’s my harp player?

6

throws oropax into the crowd

Hi… I am dodgy… and I a have the blues…

Da da da da DUM
I browse the bords
Da da da da DUM
instead of stuiing
Da da da da DUM
but I need to study
Da da da da DUM
but not only that
Da da da da DUM
I also need money
Da da da da DUM
to pay my phoenbill
Da da da da DUM
wait there s still more
Da da da da DUM
my boyfriend told me
Da da da da DUM
to come over in January
Da da da da DUM
but he ll not be online
Da da da da DUM
in an eternety
Da da da da DUM
and I dont wanna phone him
Da da da da da da da DUM

I got the
I am skint and miss my boyfriend and cant afford to go online and I still have to buy xmas presents
blues

You ve been a great audience

signals crowed to take out the oropax now

7

<spotlight>Chrome Spot solos on harp – one bent note for 36 bars – falls off stage in coughing fit</spotlight>

8

Oooooh, if I had a woman
She’d a lef’ by now.
My poor postin’ heart
Sinkin’ looooooooower than the Dow.

‘Cause I’m a maaaaaayaaaaan.
Baaaaby I’m a man.
I’m a maaaaaayaaaaan.
Jus’ a emp-sims postin’ man.

Now if lovin’ was rain
I’d be drier than Tupelo.
‘Cause I’m postin’ on the boards
and not with my baby dancin’ slow.

And it suuuuuuuure do got me low.

<harmonica solo>

9

::cranks the delay line out to max repeat::

Runs an alto flute solo ending with a full measure sustain on F below middle C.

::reaches for another instrument just as vegetables begin to rain down from the audience::

10

vegetables? What a healthy thread…

11

The harmonica wails:

Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
Da name sez Doctor
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
But dat I ain’t
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
Doc, he fix yo hurtin’
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
but, man, I cain’t
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
I’ll jes’ keep postin’
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
to dis message board
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
If you can dig it
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
Den PRAISE da Lord!
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
I’m de sooooul poster
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
I posts wit’ soul
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
Dark hat and sunglasses
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
done took their toll
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
da dum da dum
Wah WAAAHHH wah WAH
da dum da dum
I got dos post-wit’-soul, coffees-cold, bread-got-mold, time-to-fold, honky-toooooonk-Bluuuuuuuuuues
Yeah. Heh heh heh