The secret to happiness

For the mere 29 years that I’ve been alive, I believe I’ve found the first step, at least: Eliminate fear.

There is enough knowledge so far that we can safely eliminate most fears. Why do we still hang on to them?

From fear stems hate, anger, insecurity, and a whole bunch of other causes for unhappiness.

Perhaps I’m just drunk again and just talking out of my ass.

What do you guys think?

There’s always another beer.

“Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand.”

Ok, Falcon, Coldfire: Who said that?

Fear is a useful tool from an evolutionary standpoint. Anyone who isn’t afraid of dangerous things doesn’t avoid them and hence doesn’t always get to pass on his/her genetic material.

“Come on, Phonics Monkey–drum!”

I think worry is the worst.My parents think I’m going to be killed every time I go anywhere,they freak if I don’t call them every day(they’re in their 80’s).

I think you’re right.

I know from personal experience I used to be afraid of what others thought of my appearance. When I was in college (I graduated 2 years ago) I always thought I was fat. I would never take my shirt off in front of others, and I was always afraid of how I looked in my clothes. Needless to say, I wasn’t very happy.

After graduating, I started working out, and dropped from 23% body fat to 8%. I was so proud of myself, and am no longer afraid of what others think.

The thing is, though, that when all my friends I haven’t seen in a while saw me, and I told them about my weight loss, they all said they thought I was skinny before.

Ever since then I realized that other’s opinions of you are never as bad as you think. I now have no fear of what others think of me, and I’ve been much happier.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

Good point, Phil.

But I was talking about unnecessary fear.

What is truly dangerous?

Is jaywalking dangerous?

Or speeding or driving drunk?

Or commenting on a woman’s nicely formed breasts, and telling her what you would like to do with them?

If one can calculate the risk involved, then where is the danger?

There’s always another beer.

Right, Stevie Rave On

Looks account for little. Confidence has a bigger role than I ever imagined. (Sorry if I’m skipping steps, here.)

There’s always another beer.

I read the topic, then I read the screen name, then I thought, “'Nuff said!”

Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

You can find happiness in the oddest circumstances, like after a persons relative dies, but they can remember the good times with happiness inn their hearts that overwhelms the sorrow.

You can also see an absence of it in situations where you would think it a given, like when a person who is wealthy and respected kills him or herself to the surprise of both the general populace and close friends.

Yer pal,

Satan said:

Especially if it’s an in-law!

They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town… :wink:

I’m going to go with King Solomon on this and say the key to happiness is to have an understanding heart. With an understanding heart, all fears and bias’ and troubles can be worked out.

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

I read once that happiness is having “someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to.” Kinda sums it up for me.

In search of the eternal buzz . . .

IMHO, happiness is being able to just accept. It isn’t easy to explain, but I’ve only been able to find inner peace (which I consider happiness) once I was able to accept who I was, and what was around me. And enjoying it, and learning to live with it instead of fighting it.

I know I’m not explaining this well - from rereading it sounds as though I’m saying “I settled” and that’s not it at all. Sorry - I wish I knew how to put this into words…

James Taylor said it best.

Worry is probably the only impediment to happiness for me, but it’s pretty easy to deal with. If I can do something to help the situation I’m worried about, I do it; if I can’t, why worry about it? What will happen will happen, and if I don’t have any control I may as well go along for the ride and see what happens. If it’s something bad, I’ll deal with it, but worrying about it beforehand just makes you upset for no reason.

I am generally a very happy person; maybe “happy” isn’t the right word, it makes me sounds like a Pollyanna. As my name implies, I am joyous. It is an unusual day where I don’t say to myself at least six times “life is sweet! I have no complaints” or “there is nowhere I’d rather be than right here and now.” I mean, I can imagine ways life could be better, but I have chosen my path, and whatever I experience is new and will never come around again. I can be happy because the sun is shining and I can be happy because the sun is not shining. I may have some natural advantages, since I am healthy and employed and do not truly hate or am hated by anyone (well, maybe Phaedrus, but that’s just too darn funny to bother me). Still, I remember being very happy in situations that, looking back, were pretty lousy.

Anyone wanna slap me now for my annoying sunshiny-ness? :slight_smile:

“Happiness is nonetheless true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love lose their value because they are not everlasting.”

  • Bertrand Russell

Because people feed on unhappiness. Being unhappy gives them the will to drive forward, succeed, change. Happiness breeds laziness. The men in power want people unhappy because then they can control your actions by telling you what will make you happy, and continuing to prevent your happiness. Thus you think that your unhappiness is your fault and the men in power can stay in power.

That’s an Orwellian perspective.

Personally, I think happiness is overrated. I go for sheer, lazy contentment. You know, like after thanksgiving dinner, you’re stuffed, sleepy, and content. Of course, I’m not always stuffed, I’m usually sleepy, I derive my contentedness from just not getting worked up.

Happiness can be bought in six packs, ounces, and 300$ per night.

Beeruser wrote, in the OP:

Ah, but is it fear that is the true enemy of happiness, ot is it acting on (or reacting to) fear that causes such misery?

Channelled fear can be a powerful motivator and ally.

Maybe it’s just my “glass-is-half-empty” attitude today, but fear is also what sometimes provokes lunacy and violence. The happy-go-lucky puppy will attack if scared.

On the other hand, fear both inhibits us and at the same time, forces us to re-examine who we are, and how we define ourselves. Being afraid of something adds another dimension to our character.

Civility costs nothing.