Ok, I admit. I got sucked into thislast night. It’s sort of drawn along the reality show lines, but not in a competition style.
I was surprised that I enjoyed as I did, but then, when I was younger I did a discernment retreat when I thought I might be called to the religious life (clearly I wasn’t), so my enjoyment does kind of make sense. At the same time, I think there were aspects that anyone not familiar with Roman Catholicism would have trouble with. There was one girl who described her Jesus as her boyfriend and her future husband. I heard enough of that language growing up and in Catholic schools that it didn’t sound particularly strange to me, but if that was the first time I was hearing it, I’d certainly give that girl some side eye.
I watched the episode on the website. I’ve been curious about nuns since watching Audrey Hepburn in the wonderful movie The Nun’s Story a few years ago on PBS. I’m Jewish not Catholic so this way of life is something I have no experience with at all. My initial reaction? These would be nuns are morons. They’re expecting to wear makeup and have cell phones . . . in a convent? What the hell? Do they even know what goes on in a convent? How can they possibly be that stupid? I’m Jewish and even I know you wouldn’t be allowed to wear makeup and you would expected to wear a uniform of some sort. I’m going to watch because this whole society fascinates me although poverty, chastity and obedience are my idea of hell not virtues.
How about bets on who will last? I doubt Francesca, she seems way too fragile. Claire, the spiritual know-it-all from the ultra-religious family? I think she might go farther, but I don’t think so. I think she’s doing it in part to make her parents happy. Christie just seems like a flake. Stacey? I somehow doubt it. Of all of them, even though I had my doubts at first, I think Eseni has the strongest chance, although I think in part she just wants the religious life to have some order.
I didn’t go through the discernment process, but I thought long and hard about entering the religious life. I think I could’ve been a decent nun, although I probably would have an issue with obedience. It would be hard to live up my life (not just where I live and work) to my superiors.
I think Claire will not make it. She’s just got that undercurrent that makes me think that she’s doing what she thinks she’s supposed to be doing rather than really exploring whether it’s what she should be doing. Eseni is a maybe in my book. I’m actually thinking Francesca, though she seems fragile, might end up doing well. I got no read on Stacey at all, and Christie is another maybe to me.
LavenderBlue - I know. I mean, it seems like there are certain things you’d just expect, unless, for the sake of drama, the show told them they’d be able to keep their phones and so on, and so they were surprised when the convent rules were different.
I can sort of see how giving up your phone in a strange place would make you feel trapped. I think if Mother had told them if they needed to make a call they could come to her office and do it, it might’ve assuaged their concerns. Did Eseni say it hurt to take those nails off? The loads of suitcases vs the little blouse and skirt were funny, you have to admit.
I work with nuns, and they do have cell phones, but no makeup. These nuns don’t wear specific habits, but they dress in such a way that you can easily pick them out of a crowd. Especially if you were raised Catholic like me and have highly developed nun-dar.
What I have observed in the 12 years I’ve worked here with the nuns and next door to the convent is that you put a bunch of women together in a house, clip their wings, give them a bunch of rules, put one of them in charge, and they can become incredibly petty, cranky, bitchy, and political with each other. Not with us, the lay staff, but with each other. It’s a lot like putting blood sisters together-- the niceties are out the window. I don’t expect them to be saints, but I have been dismayed at the moody, tantrum-throwing entitlement that I’ve seen. Subtle, mind you, but there.
The convent is a pressure cooker with regular human outlets closed off-- independence, sexual relationships, the ability to make decisions about your own fate. And now the young ones have to earn a living, too, and support the growing population of aging sisters who joined back when it was thought there would always be enough new girls to finance the order.
I seriously considered entering the convent as most of my girlfriends in Catholic school did in the late 50s-early 60s.
I’d like to hear more first-hand experiences from nuns or ex-nuns, if any are on the board.
Few nuns wear the habit anymore. And yes, many carry around cell phones and wear (minimal) makeup. A few nuns are regulars at the library I work at and a few of them even love gory murder mysteries.
Caught this online after reading the thread – yeah, this looks interesting.
Are we putting money down on this? I’ll take Stacey – no info about her yet, which means they’re not setting up the reasons for not going through with it, as with the others.
I might have to have a look at this. I was taught through eight years of grammar school by nuns in full habit. I’ve known nuns since, none of whom have worn the habit.
One of my girlfriends – a very Catholic woman, who spent some time at a convent, startled me by telling me what the nuns did all day – a lot of them, she claimed, spent the day in pajamas. I could tell she was surprised and a bit upset about it. You’d think they’d be spending their time praying (there was a chapel in the convent of the nuns who taught me) or doing charitable work or stuff for the church (as they’re often depicted).
I suspect this was an atypical convent she attended, or an atypical set of days. I’m sure there are plenty of self-sacrificing nuns out there, and I know the ones in our parish were always doing things in the church (not to mention teaching). Still, the thought of some nuns just watching TV I n their jammies was a weird one.
This reminds me a lot of Peace Corps training, which I always thought would make a great reality TV show. Take a bunch of young, idealistic people who think they know what they are getting into, and put them in someplace far away from home, where everything seems really really different, hand over a bunch of rules and watch hijinks ensue. Nearly half the cohort in some countries leave during training, and there are pretty clear patterns that emerge.
Based on my Peace Corps experiences, I’d guess Eseni will be the first to go. A long-term relationship automatically puts you at a 50% chance of quitting-- out of lonliness, out of fear of what you’ll lose, or out of the simple fact that it’s easier to go home when you have something to go home to. She also sems like she is basing her decision on the kind of life she doesn’t want, rather than an active wish to live convent life. She also seems a bit too focused on the idea that the nuns “seem happy,” which may be true, but is really a different thing that wanting the day-to-day life of a nun. She may be a good candidate one day, but I think she has a lot of things to work out first.
Claire is my guess for second to go (and this isn’t just because of my constant urge to punch her in the face.) Expectations are the enemy of adaaptation. The story I tell is that my training group in Cameroon had a woman who’s life dream was to join Peace Corps. She had missed her chance after college, so she had waited decades to do it after she retired. She came perfectly prepared to fulfill her dream. Well, she freaked out when she saw our dusty little training village, smelling of petrol and mud, and she was gone within a week. The more you have built something up in your head, the less likely you are to adapt to the reality.
I think Claire probably has a lot more external motivation (this is the type of thing she’d like to be seen doing) rather than internal motivation, and what internal motivation she has is unlikely to stand up to the relative lack of glamour convent life has to offer in reality.
Christie is a wild card. She seems like a seeker, which can go either way. Sometimes they are flaky, flitting from experience to experience. But sometimes they really latch on to something- especially if it’s something that gives them a sense of identity, “specialness” and belonging. There are many Christies among long time expats.
Stacey seems well-grounded, and that bodes well. But she said she broke up with a boyfriend, which doesn’t. Even with that in mind, I think she stands a good chance. She seems balanced.
Francesca might make it. She’s fragile and inexperienced, but sometimes those people are the people that have the most ability to grow and adapt, and she may even wake up some of her inner strength through this experience. She’s likely to take this journey for what it is, not what she wants it to be, and that’s a good thing.
Are they joining a contemplative or active order? The only sisters I’ve known were the Dominican sister who taught the OCIA class I went through, and her roommate and sometimes guest speaker, who was a Franciscan. They both dressed plainly and didn’t wear makeup, but didn’t wear habits either.
Neither would set the world on fire, but they were both sensible, pleasant women who seemed like they had their heads screwed on pretty tight (except for, y’know, the whole believing in God business; but then I’ve never been the type of atheist who thinks that religiosity always = stupidity.)
I did find it interesting that we could easily tell who belonged to which order; the Dominican knew all the ways and whys of Church doctrine, while the Franciscan was all about the preferential option for the poor.
I know what you mean about nun-dar. I have Hassidim / Orthodox Jew dar – all those years in Hebrew school and I can generally tell when someone is frum at a glance.
I guess I thought they would have done some research first. Like finding out if habits are required and whether they’re joining a contemplative order or one that is working in the world. I would certainly take the time to find out as much as I could before doing something like this. FYI, I’ve run into women still in habits both in NYC and here in northern NJ. One was in the library with me last Saturday. There were also lots in habits when we visited Rome about ten years ago.
This may just be an effect of the show. They are visiting several orders in a short time, so they are getting a taste of each order rather than going through a real discernment process. I’d guess that the hard research would come after they’ve narrowed down which of the orders feels right.
And while the show doesn’t seem to goad them in to drama, ask enough inane questions and you’ll eventually get some inane answers. They have have been okay with giving up their cellphones, but when asked by the cameraman “How did it feel to give up your cellphone?” chances are whatever they say is going to make it look like they are making a big deal about it.
I felt so bad for Francesca. I don’t think she really considered the makeup covering her acne to be in the same category as lipstick or eye shadow- especially with TV cameras rolling. I’d be surprised if a full nun with severe acne wasn’t allowed to wear coverup.
