The Six Million Dollar Movie

FoxNews.Com says that there is a feature film in the works, and Jim Carrey has been cast as Colonel Steve Austin - The Six Million Dollar Man. What? Jim Carrey is too much of a cut-up to be him.

JC would be better as Darren Stevens (Bewitched) or Major Anthony Nelson (I Dream of Jeannie).

Someone like Russell Crowe or I’d almost take John Cusack as the Six Million Dollar Man.

Who’s going to play Oscar Goldman?

And if they bring in Jamie Summers - The Bionic Woman and give her, her own movie, Who will play her?

This just sucks, I loved both shows, and it to me shows that Hollywood is going to probably crap on these shows, I use to watch as a kid. Like they have done to other shows turned into movies.

I tell you what, I hope Mattel will market a Ken as Col. Steve Austin - T6MDM, and Barbie as Jamie Summers - BW, with the compartments showing their Bionics, like the Bionic Woman Doll I have, but a better doll.

Additionally, I am not sure how old Lee Majors and Lindsay Wagner was when they did their shows, or if they will be in a feature movie.

“This just sucks” you say?

Are you sitting down? I hope so. Here it comes…

My source says it will be a COMEDY!

Another small piece of my soul died today.

God NOOOO, not a comedy!

Like I said, another show of my childhood that is being crapped up by Hollywood.

This movie is suppose to rival Austin Powers, I Hate Austin Powers.

What is the premise?, Col. Steve Austin has a horrible crash in an experimental aircraft, and he gets life-saving surgery i/e Bionic Implants/Limbs & Eye, that go horribly arye. Yuck, he’s suppose to be fighting evil and enemies of the USA.

Well, given that he gets $20M a film, having JC play the Six Million Dollar Man means he’d be taking a huge pay cut. :wink:

Who’s going to play Oscar Goldman?
Leslie Nielsen?

Damn, why did they have to decide to make it a comedy? What were they thinking?

They did this a few years back with one of my other favorite shows from the 70’s, “McHale’s Navy.” And it totally tanked at the box office. Why they couldn’t just keep it a straight action/adventure film is beyond me…


Two possible responses: 1) There’s the problem right there, it was supposed to be about a boat, not a tank!; and 2) of course there were tanks, where else were they supposed to float the boat?

The difference between the two is that McHale’s Navy the series was (allegedly) a comedy to begin with. The Six Million Dollar Man wasn’t supposed to be a comedy. It was fun to watch and enjoyable and 30 years after the fact somewhat camp, but there was no goddamn laugh track. Now I like irony as much as the next guy, and an ironic reinterpretation of the whole bionic genre could be great fun. But somehow Jim-fucking-Carrey has never struck me as the subtle irony type. I can quite merrily live out the rest of my natural-born days without seeing Jim-fucking-Carrey running in slow motion and mugging like a fucking idiot.

Here! Here!.

They need a rugged, tough, smart guy to play Steve Austin.
How about Guy Pearce, I bet he’d look good on an AF uniform.

Actually put hair on Patrick Stewart as Oscar Goldman, and Kevin Spacey as Rusty - the Bionic Tech/Dr.

Excuse me? Are we talking about the same show here? Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway on a PT boat? Am I being whooshed here?

Geez, next you’re gonna tell me that Hogan’s Heroes was also supposed to be a comedy…

Um, you guys do remember that the Bionic shows were utter crap to begin with, right?

Wasn’t the original idea of the movie to have six $1 million men, as part of a government cyborg soldier program, who are killed in an accidental explosion? The scientists then take the remaining parts and build a $6 million man?

And yeah, I heard it was to be a comedy, too. By the Cohen Brothers. Jim Carrery is not making my outlook any better.