In many geek circles, there is a person who smells bad. Because nobody wants to bring it up, nothing changes and the smelly person continues to be smelly.
To my knowledge, this seems to happen FAR more often with groups of geeks than other subcultures. I mentioned it to my wife and she laughed. She said if one of her friends or even acquaintances smelled bad she’d just tell them. Because her and her friends take care of themselves and are honest with each other, they never have to deal with the “smelly person” in their group.
In conventions, there are often notices imploring guests to maintain personal hygiene. I’ve heard the terms “con funk, con crud, etc” used in this context (people going to conventions also seem prone to getting sick; not sure if it’s simply happening in any big gathering or there are slovenly folk harboring some kind of Nerdovirus at conventions. )
What’s strange is that in activities where a person would be prone to getting sweaty and stinky this is rarely an issue. A co worker is an active cyclist, and rides frequently with a group of cyclists. I asked him if he ever noticed anybody in his group that smelled bad, and he said that because of the active nature of the hobby, people are really diligent about showers and hygiene. So it’s not just people actively LARPing or wearing a fursuit costume or something weird. So why is it so common in geeky circles? Some theories:
-Some geeky activities seem more popular with people a little eccentric or social misfits. So there’s a collective cluelessness going on. All the exposed buttcracks at that MtG tournament support this.
-Long term Exposure to cat urine or ferret musk dulls their sense of smell. Much like a smoker, maybe the person gets so used to the smell of poorly-wiped-butt that they never notice how bad they smell. (Though my brother in law, who works in a solid waste facility yet does not come home smelling like his job would argue differently).
-The self aware geeks are complaining the most about it on the internet, so the anecdotes we read are coming from similar sources. Maybe there is some lady in a knitting group somewhere who reeks of rancid ass but nobody in the group is complaining about it on a messageboard.
I believe Left Hand of Dorkness articulated a hypothesis that I think is the most likely explanation. There’s a long history of the geek and nerd culture being the last bastion of acceptance and no one wants to be the guy who breaks with that feeling and tells Stinker McSmellyson to either take a shower with soap or don’t come back.
I’ve heard that theory too, and I find the concept irritating for several reasons.
First, if you’re not going to be willing to call someone out for smelling bad, you’re probably not going to call them out for other unacceptable behaviors. Women complain about getting harassed in geeky groups/cons all the time. Now of course this isn’t limited to geeky groups, but it just seems worse because if a person isn’t going to call someone out for smelling bad, they’re probably less likely to call them out for harassment.
-In a “safe space” I think people should be MORE willing to give constructive criticism since they’ll know it comes from personal experience or good intent. This isn’t your abusive stepfather telling you to take a shower, it’s your close friend who doesn’t want people to make fun of you behind their back. But folks seem to interpret safe spaces as places where the opinions of others never matter aren’t relevant :rolleyes:
I’m not saying it’s an attitude that should be encouraged and I would not continue to game with someone who has a hygiene problem and is resistant to fixing it but then, I don’t do cons or large gaming groups where I’m not necessarily friends with the players outside of the game.
There’s always one guy who refuses to shower after a game or practice and who smells like a decaying corpse. Even after brutal teasing from his peers, they often continue in this vein as if it were some kind of protest to show how independent and stubborn that they are.
I always tell people who I’m around if their hygiene is slipping and I appreciate it if they return the favor. While I try to be cool about it, sometimes you simply have to lay things out for them and if it hurts their feelings, too bad. Their feelings will heal; if they don’t, then there are probably deeper emotional or psychological issues at the heart of the problem.
As far as geeks: When you decide to spend countless hours alone or in pursuit of hobbies or pursuits that most would find to be dull or irrelevant, you begin to lose perspective. If hygiene takes time away from those pursuits, then hygiene begins to suffer. If people won’t say anything to you when this occurs, things will deteriorate even further.
Tell smelly people to clean up their act.
They may not appreciate it.
But YOU will…
This seems like a no-brainer. There’s a inverse relationship between attention to grooming/hygiene and the intensity of a person’s interests, especially if those interests are usualy enjoyed alone (or through an internet connection). An individual really needs social feedback to recognize if their grooming/hygiene habits are “off”.
Franz Schubert would get so engrossed while composing symphonies that he would urinate on himself at the piano. A guy like this isn’t going to care about wearing deodarant and changing his underwear.
Yep! No one in a smelly person’s family has ever taught them how or why good hygiene is important. Someone whose family is that socially clueless or irresponsible is likely to end up with offspring that is socially awkward or eccentric who turns out to be the smelly geeky type.
This is also true. There’s a misconception that if a person told you that you smell, they can’t be your friend because a True Friend would never say something like that.So it becomes a feedback loop where the people who care and have the guts to speak out about it get rejected by stinky nerd and only the pushovers or other stinkers stick around.
Re: Granola types, I always thought that hippie type folks all had their unique stench, so one hippie isn’t really going to notice or care about the B.O. of another hippie. Though I can imagine a Bizarro world situation with an intervention like this:
Willow: “Llewellyn, we need to talk. If you want to continue to be a part of our drum circle you gotta stop rubbing those chemical sticks on your armpits. It deprives you of your natural musk and disastrous our auras and our noses. Please try to understand where I’m coming from.”