Had I had enough sense and foreknowledge to save the date, I would know… to the day… I entered puberty.
Regardless, it was sometime between September 1978 - March 1979. I turn on Atlanta’s channel 17 (in a few years this would become cable’s TBS) and the old Incredible Hulk cartoon begins.
(male voices)
Doc Bruce Banner
Pelted by Gamma Rays
Turned into The Hulk
(then a female comes in, in a much higher pitch)
Ain’t He Unglamo-Rays!
And thus it began. My brain began to repeat this…
Doc Bruce Banner
Pelted by Gamma Rays
Turned into The Hulk
Ain’t He Unglamo-Rays!
Looping over… and over… and over… for, I’m sure, at least two weeks.
Couldn’t stop it. I tried other songs. I tried immersion. I tried singing along with it. I tried crying in frustration. I tried convincing myself that I’m not going crazy, but none of it…
Doc Bruce Banner
Pelted by Gamma Rays
Turned into The Hulk
Ain’t He Unglamo-Rays!
… fucking stopped the loop. (And it was that last line, about “unglamo-rays” (which some lyric sites have as “unglamourous”, which also works, but I don’t care enough to research it in full), that got me. It was that jump in pitch (he says from experience).)
It eventually died down, only to be replaced by another (not so irritating song)… and another… and another…
… for 46 years now.
I call it “the music track”, the constant song that plays in my head whenever I’m doing anything that doesn’t require my 100% concentration. Sometimes up to a half-hour may pass without the music track on, but it’s never off for long.
(Currently, it’s an old favorite - Mozart’s 22nd piano concerto, mvt 1 - which means it’s calm now.)
Most of the time, I ignore it. Or hum along.
My musical tastes have been shaped by this - God forbid I get something ugly (like heavy metal) stuck in my head, that would be simply horrible. Lots of classical (Mozart, Bach), lots of easy listening pop, tons of Tin Pan Ally standards, Broadway (and movie) tunes, stuff like that. I mean, if it’s stuck in my head, it might as well be pleasant to ‘listen’ to.
After a while, I never gave it much thought. It just was. You learn to deal, and that’s that. I don’t even think I mentioned it here, and as some of you know, I talk very openly about my life.
But… the reason I bring this up now was because I was at the doctor’s a few days ago and when she asked me how I was (I’m typically in excellent health), I mentioned something about “Doing fine. Last week was a bit rough as I had Gaga playing constantly in my head, lol, but it’s now faded and Mozart’s back on the music track.”
(And it was Gaga - Paparazzi was playing in the HEB, and then I heard Poker Face, and that was it. Worst it has been in a while.)
She looked at me.
“What?”
“Oh, I’m just joking. I have a song always playing in my head, since the age of 12 or so, and last week it was some very persistent Gaga motifs. But it’s OK now.”
“It stopped?”
“No, it went back to the typical Mozart or Bach piece.”
“Wait, are you serious? This has been happening since the age of 12?”
“Uhhh… yeah?”
So she starts talking about this, and I’m getting a bit irritated at her persistence:
Associated with hearing loss? Uh, only if I’m very gradually losing my hearing for the past 4+ decades.
Schizophrenia? I’m not hearing voices, just music.
Auditory Hallucinations? No, I’m quite aware that the music isn’t being heard, it’s just in my head. You know, on the music track. If you want to call that an AH, go ahead, but by my current understanding of the words, that’s not what’s happening.
So now she wants me to get tested and I frankly just wish I had shut my damned mouth.
Anyway, that’s my mundane and pointless story I wanted to share. Anyone else deal with this situation (‘persistent music in your head’, not ‘unwanted advice from doctors’ )?