O, belovèd squirrel, with fur so soft
(Though sometimes mangy), you used to leap high
In the maple. Its springy boughs would loft
Your lithe form, tail a-fluffed, into the sky.
Now, though, the tree has failed us, leaving you
On the road after a branch snapped from your
Delicate weight. With horror I see that
Once-soft fluffiness is squished, fluffed no more.
Were you careless? Did enthusiasm make
You take that fateful misstep? Or, perhaps, it
Was a shameful hazing incident. Take
Your time climbing to heaven, there to flit.
The maple and I now go on alone.
We’ll miss your sweet, soft fur and hard, sweet bone.
Jeyen is silly.
More nutty than ten squirrels.
That ain’t a Haiku!
Argh. Jeyen fucks up
Her own sonnet, and now she
Must repost, pad count.
O, belovèd squirrel, with fur so soft
(Though sometimes mangy), you used to leap high
In the maple. Its springy boughs would loft
Your lithe form, tail a-fluffed, into the sky.
Now, the tree has failed us, leaving you flat
On the road after a branch snapped from your
Delicate weight. With horror I see that
Once-soft fluffiness is squished, fluffed no more.
Were you careless? Did enthusiasm make
You take that fateful misstep? Or, perhaps, it
Was a shameful hazing incident. Take
Your time climbing to heaven, there to flit.
The maple and I now go on alone.
We’ll miss your sweet, soft fur and hard, sweet bone.
Jeyen too refers
Mr. Cynical to the
Original post.
Squirrels are annoying
I want some Mountain Lions
they eat squirrel pancakes.
if in the winter
you hear knocks in your engine
start car, watch guts fly
PETA peeps beware
Squirrels are luring you in trap
they will eat your eyes
Squirrels can get drunk
give them lots of alcohol
sleep on cloud in sky
Squirrels gnaw on stuff
they will devour anything
let them eat some lead
On my way to town
I see you, crossing swiftly
“bump bump” squirrel go squish!
Chatter from your branch
While all humanity fades
You are pure evil
I see you misjudged
Probably missed by an inch
I love gravity
I’d like to see you
Try to spark a match in this
wind. laugh, fuzzy jerk
Telltale pile of seads
Stands out agains the wite snow
My cat eats tonight
chop down big huge tree
see squirrel hop out and gallop
I’ll give you head start
I see that I failed
to post the last time I tried
let’s see if this works
my college suitemate
fed a squirrel some vivarin
say “hi” to Twitchy
::Bump::
More squirrel haiku,
Beloved fellow posters,
If you please. Soon. Thanks!
Jeyen
The bump accepted
Upham writes some more of them
Because he hates squirrels
The Squirrel; he plots
Yet no one saw this coming
Electric peanuts
I will sew a coat
It will be made of Squirrel hides
Be warned, fluffy target
You chew, i rejoice
For once you gnaw something right
My Extention cord
Beady eyed monster
I will sacrifice your bones
Pagans had it right
[sub]This one has nothing to do with Squirrels or my loathing of them, i just like it. I call it:
“This is the title, it is also the haiku, pretty cheep eh?”
This is the title
It is also the haiku
Pretty cheep eh?[/sub]
(from the squirrel’s POV)
Look at my nuts, man!
I keep them hidden from sight,
but you can see them.
*Electronic gizmos… $478
Mechanical whatzits… $664
The machine that goes ‘ping’… $962
Instructions on how to get it all together… $15
Using the device to transfer your brain into a squirrel for a day, just to write a stupid haiku where you talk about your nuts… *priceless
punk snot dead,
broccoli!
I like the squirrels
I see my brethren do not
Tommy ducks and runs
Feeders by window
The squirrels give a good show
Drive my cats crazy
When I was a kid
Friend heard squirrel in a tree
Thought it a chicken
A slight [hijack] here
Friend also thought that peacocks
Were living on roof
This friend was quite strange
He moved after the third grade
this [/hijack] is done
*Forrage not in street
where the rubber meets the road
now texture mimics waffle
and blood spray shoots from nose
*
Sitting on a park bench
Squirrels beg for someting on which to dine.
But beware: for that Cracker Jack
I’ve tainted with iodine.
*
Hmm. It didn’t post.
I blame the bastard squirrels.
I will try again.
Rats with fancy tails
That’s all those little shits are
I stamp on their heads
The nut falls, captured
Softly, gentle hands persuade
Liftoff over green grass
Tasty nut, hidden string
Electricity echoes triumphant
Singed fur falls, silent
squatting and thrusting
“look at my wee penis bone!”
squirrel seems to say
this long, dreary life
soon we will all be just bones
squirrel penis bone
up early again
the cold makes me stiff like a
Be careful where you dance
Bushy tailed monstrosity.
Lest someone test your caliber,
and introduce you to velocity.
Albino Squirrel Tale
Leads Jarbaby to Believe
Bouv Went to My School
Squirrel In My Attic
Must Be Driven to Suburb
Released To The Wild
Two Months Later She
Returns To Wreak Havoc On
My Insulation
How Many Times Must
I Drive You To Evanston
Before You Give Up?
jarbaby