I hate squirrels. Everything about 'em. Really. Everthing about them.
They’re the loudest thing in the forest (unless, as i’ve had it pointed out to me, one was to put an elephant into a forest and chased him around). They leave those little piles of what ever that stuff is everywhere and they laugh and laugh and laugh at everything you try to do. Rotten fuckers. Like they could do it any better.
They’re basically pigeons with and a big fluffy tail and no wings. I curse that tail, for it is that tail which makes others (softer, blinder folks then my self) think they are not Pure Evil -which they are. As far as i see it, they are biding their time, waiting for our society to crumble. that’s why they stay in the cities unlike most of the other animals. They’re gonna take over when were gone and laugh at us while they wate.
Thus, i am beginning a collection of haikus dedicated to my deep loathing for these “cute”, furry bastards. #1
Shut up forest jerk
Your food stores impress me not
I really hate squirrels
#2
Fry in hell filth ball
Stop chewing on my windows
Before I stomp you
#3
The sun rises late
You ate my weather-stripping
I know where you live
#4
Majestic rodent?
Pestilent plague carrier.
Man I hate squirrels
#5
Eat my nuts will you?
Know this well, dirty fleabag
I’m a damn good shot
#6
Laugh, saucy bastard
Soon, soon my cat will eat you
Then we’ll see who laughs
I just thought I’d say that my school of higher learning has an albino squirrel that roams the campus. If you think regular squirrels are bad, just imagine a pure white one with red, beady eyes staring straight into your soul.