Did the Squirrel Try to KILL Me, or Was This Coincidence?

I went out onto the porch for a smoke yesterday evening. There was a squirrel perched on top of the squirrel feeder, one I did not recognize. Though I crept to my chair slowly and quietly, he thought I was a threat and dashed to the top of the tree.

A few minutes later, there was a crash to my left. A large stick had hit the porch boards about three feet from me. I looked up, and sure enough, there sat that squirrel.

I went back inside and laughed about it as I told my husband. “I think it was an assasination attempt! That stick couldn’t hurt me, but it probably would have if I were the size of a squirrel. Little sucker was anthropomorphising!”

My husband nodded. “They do throw things at people! On my college campus, they used to wing nuts down at students stitting on the lawns.”

“Are you sure they weren’t just eating and dropping the shells carelessly?” I asked, but he said it certainly seemed the squirrels were throwing things at them. Then I remembered that I’ve seen nuts fall from the trees when the dogs were below them.

So, what gives? Do they target people and animals on the ground, or are they just dropping trash and not realizing the implication that we may read into it? I’m going to assume the stick may have been an accident-- you know, loose on the tree, and when he stepped on it, it fell.

Oh, shit! Wrong forum . . . sorry.

If it stays in GD, we can discuss the ramifications of rabbits attacking Presiidents of the USA. On the other hand, if it gets moved to Cafe Society, we can debate golden egg laying geese vs. overzealous squirrels.

[Moderator Hat ON]

To GQ.

[Moderator Hat OFF]

Well, since this is GD… Was the squirrel a Republican or Democrat? If he were to be circumcised, would it be abuse? Should squirrels be allowed to have abortions? Do they have any rights? If God made a squirrel that must eats all the nuts in the universe to survive, could he keep it fed? Would you support a Mutant Squirrel Registration act? Do Alan Greenspan’s manipulations of the Fed’s interest rates have any impact on squirrels? Would the squirrel be for or against socialized medicine? Did the squirrel really exist? Are you sure? Can you prove it? Maybe squirrels are just an abstract symbol created by our minds an a sort of artificial reality, and we’re all just, like, atoms in a leaf on another planet somewhere, man. Cite?

Damn you Gaudere!!! This squirrel could have made for quite the debate.

oh, it was deliberate all right.

squirrels are sneaky little beasts …

haven’t you seen the mini documentary on TV where a squirrel times his dash across the road to make a car hit a tree and then celebrate with his little buddy ?


Honestly, I think the most reasonable explanation is that the squirrel stepped on a branch that broke, or was already broken and balancing up there, and it happened to land near you.

Is it even possible for a squirrel to “throw” a stick? Don’t think they have a prehensile tail or opposable thumbs.

Oh , it’s possible , alright ! They might not have thumbs , but they can still grasp things in their little hands , and they DO throw things .

This particular subject reminded me of something that happened back about 1987 or so . I had my first 2 Gordons at the time , mother & daughter , Holly & Abbie . I have a privacy fenced yard , and had a squirrel that had taken up residence in the mulberry trees in the back yard that LOVED to torment the dogs . I was out doing yard work one day , and had scolded Abbie for something . She was a sensitive dog , and tended to pout , so she went off to lay by the fence , head down between her front paws , mad at the world . Then the squirrel came down and ran up and down the fence , just above her , chattering , wanting her to chase him . Abbie was having no part of it and wouldn’t even look at him . So Mr. Squirrel tried harder , he jumped from fence to tree , right above her . By this point , I had stopped my raking and was watching everything intently . He started throwing mulberries and leaves out of the tree , onto her , chattering more loudly all the while . Still Abbie worked at ignoring the squirrel .

Suddenly the squirrel ran don the tree trunk , onto the ground , and came to within a foot or 2 of her , turned around and SCRATCHED DIRT in her face ! This insult was more than Abbie could take , and she chased him back up the tree , where he gleefully scrambled back onto the fence , running back and forth with Abbie in hot pursuit ! I literally leaned on the rake laughing at them . It was a show I will never forget .

I’d bet they are in contact with the Nazi Groundhogs. A true rodent Axis of Evil!

I doubt that squirrels are smart enough to be able to direct either nuts or branches at potential enemies. However, it is possible that when they see a potential predator they may leap about in an agitated fashion, so that loose branches or nuts may fall to the ground in the vicinity.

Monkeys such as capuchins will definitely try to break branches and cause them to fall near potential enemies, but even they have no real capacity to aim and hit anyone with a branch or a missile unless they are standing directly below.

I swear that the red squirrels intentionally drop pine cones out of the trees as mini bombs.

At university, they used to warn students at a certain time of year when the squirrels on West Mall became territorial. This was during the mating season, and male squirrels would defend their territory. Some squirrels would literally charge and chase students who loitered in the area. I never saw one hurl projectiles, but neither the means ror the intent seems improbable.

I would leave several offerings of nuts, if I were you. :smiley:

Sciurinomorphising, surely.

I predict a great future for you in federal service, as an intelligence analyst! :wink:

Lissa, I’m afraid your hunch is correct- I even overheard my squirrels talking about you!!

Been nice knowing ya!

There’s gotta be three for an Axis, right? Are they in league with o’possums?

Was the squirrel named Foamy ?

(play ‘Squirrel Songs’)

I’ve had enough similar experience as in the OP to conclude that squirrels do cause acorns and other debris to be rained down on people below, because they are seen as threats or intrusions.

I doubt that in every case the furry brats were actually picking up objects in their paws and hurling them at people, chittering in delight. I suspect they do drop acorns. The larger stuff may be dropped, or jarred loose. But it’s not an accident.

They can be snotty little rodentoids with an attitude. And don’t get me started on blue jays. :mad: