Squirrel whores!

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

And the really funny thing was, I was watching Brokeback Mountain when it happened.

I looked up and out the window, saw one squirrel pointed down, the other up, looking at each other. Then one squirrel sort of batted the other one on the nose. I called my SO, “Hey, look, there’s two squirrels fighting out here!” Then the one ran down and mounted the other one, and my face went from :smiley: to :eek:. I said, “No, there’s two squirrels having sex out here!”

All in all it lasted about five seconds…both of them hanging off the trunk. Talk about acrobatics. Then they both ran off, in different directions, and hardly seemed to notice each other after that.

My SO, who’d come out by now, said, “Are we going to have squirrel babies around here now? Just keep them away from your veggies.” (I grow vegetables in pots on my balcony, from which the tree is about six feet away.)

Talk about brazen! Right in front of our window! At window height!

#2

You mean “squirrel whore voyeurs”?
It’s time for me to share a deep secret. Well, not deep, but…you’ll realize after it’s shared…

…I’m afraid of squirrels.

Yes. Afraid.
stop laughing!

It’s so bad, that if there’s one standing in the middle of the sidewalk and refuses to move as I get to…about 15 feet away, I’ll slow down and give it some more time. If it either does nothing or stops and stares right at me, I’ll go so far as to cross the street and walk over there, then cross back after I’m sure the squirrel threat is gone.

They should be on the Threatdown with Stephen Colbert. I don’t trust them.
Apparently, there’s a provision in the Mankind/Squirrel treaty that says I am not a part of “Mankind”, so I don’t get the same privileges that everyone else gets.

I also try to keep extra vigilant in Ann Arbor. Squirrels there have MAJOR cojones and will snatch the food out of your hand because they’re so used to humans always being around.

#3

Make that “Squirrel Whore Exhibitionists”.

There. That better.

#4

Fess up Mika, you’re just jealous about their getting to have sex while hangin’ on a tree. :smiley:

I have been witness to some hot lizard lovin’ on my back porch. Then there’s the twice a year love bug mating season where the little nuisances fly around all over the place attached to each other.

#5

Color me confused. I can see voyeurism here. Can also see exhibitionism. But as there appeared to be no exchange of commodity for contact, I’m not seeing the whoring. Put unother way, was a nut given prior to a nut being gotten?

#6

Oh Gawd. I’m sorry, I’m really not laughing at you. Really,. (snicker) No, seriously. (Chortle)

Oh, who am I kidding? BWAHAHAHA. You should have been here, then!

#7

Yeah, it’s true. Twice in my life, a squirrel has pounced on my head as I was innocently pedaling my bike under trees. Both times, I was freaked out and pedaled like a fiend.

My fears are well founded!!!

#8

Uh, Anaamika, just while watching Brokeback Mountain this happened? :eek: You never knew before?

#9

I never knew what? Apparently it got them in the mood…they’re not the only ones.No, I always thought squirrels reproduced by budding, actually.

:stuck_out_tongue:

#10

I think we should take up a collection to buy LOUNE a slingshot.

Loaded with peanuts.

#11

Nah, take 'im/'er squirrel fishing! :smiley:

#12

Should’ve bought a squirrel—THEN it would 've been a whore.

Rat Race, remember?

#13

Uh, I wasn’t talking about the squirrels, but about your husbland “coming out” Whoosh?

#14

Did he yell, “Faster, damn you, faster!” ?

#15

Ok, This made me giggle.

Geoff, consider me completely whoosed as I have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s OK, though.

#16

You have no idea what the phrase “coming out” means, in the context of a thread where there has been a reference to a movie that’s best known for its portrayal of a homosexual relationship?

#17

No deep, dark secret… All men are afraid of squirrels. My 6’2" firefighter husband is terrified of them.
Bring up the subject of squirrels in a group of men sometime, and watch the eyes dart…
Hubby’s fear stems from a time he invited one into the house. He had to learn how to repair drywall after that one. The squirrel ran around the room horizontally . on the middle of the wall,screaming like a mountain lion, ripping chunks of wall out, not to mention, the experience scared the crap out of it, literally. At least, that the story I’ve been told.

#18

I don’t blame you at all, LOUNE. I think beavers (the rodent kind) are pure evil, and will attack you at the drop of a hat. I’m not afraid of them, per se, but I sure don’t like 'em. I don’t like squirrels much, either, come to think of it. Crazy little telephone-pole climbing bastards.

#19

I’d love to have a squirrel as a pet, or better yet a chipmunk. We had a squirrel come into our house once. It went batshit insane. He had hard time with the hardwood stairs and bannister. That wasn’t nearly as bad as the time a large raccoon wandered into our place. I was watching TV when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. He was just kinda looking around, but my first thought was “rabies!!”. I just sat there for a second until he decided to leave.

#20

Hey, I don’t blame you LOUNE. Those critters is bloodthirsty bastards. Rip out your femoral soon as look at ya. Why, I once watched one of them sick sacks of fur jump on top of a big ol’ pit bull, ride him like a bronc for a good 20 or 30 seconds, and then proceeded to whip out a tiny length of rope (from god knows what orifice) and hog tied the poor little pup. And all for what? Because that dog relieved himself on the squirrel’s tree, as dogs are wont to do.
That little so-and-so and his tiny rodent friends even pelted me with acorns and other assorted nut meats as I cut loose the dog’s paws from his bonds. Can you believe that?

No, I give those little bastards wide berth myself. Don’t know what the Squirrel Mafia might take into their tiny, nutty heads as you pass by.