I used to have a squirrel problem. Some idiot in our apartment building was feeding them and they’d gotten so bold and brazen that they would come in through open windows and raid the kitchen, leaving behind little black dropping upon dropping and causing a general sort of yegh-feeling. At some point, they got so ruthless they’d start doing the tail-snapping-and-chattering thing if you didn’t have food for them. I entertained thoughts of killing one and hanging it out on the balcony as a warning to others, but in the end I managed to end my infestation by throwing things at them every time they came inside. (Yes, mighty squirrel-fighter am I.)
Our building was renovated recently, and the old balconies were torn down and rebuilt. This meant that the whole house was under wraps for about 8 months, and the squirrels had to find another place to hang out and perpetuate their squirrely antics. I rejoiced.
Well, now they’re back. This time, though, it’s not food they’re after. My god, they’re horny little bastards. I have so far been unwilling witness to four acts of squirrel reproduction right on my friggin’ balcony. My balcony is not an hourly-rate motel! Go make more of your kind somewhere else!
I’m just afraid that at some point, we’ll have baby squirrels running around everywhere and some idiot will once again think it’s a good idea to feed them. I’m stacking up on things to throw already.
Umm, okay. That’s kinda weird. We feed squirrels, have been for a few years now. I’ve been annoyed that they won’t figure out we’re the ones feeding them and stop running away when we walk by the feeders.
Not exactly the great fear of which you speak.
PS. Now bugs with more than 8 legs, on the other hand, shudders I have a strict kill-on-sight policy about centipedes, silverfish, and what-all
Well, that has to win some sort of award for sequential posting.
We feed them, but my family lives in the suburbs, and that means they just hang out in our yard a lot. Plus our 3 cats do a pretty good job of intimidating them out of coming too close to the house.
PS. The best is our tomcat, who isn’t the brightest, still tries to chase them now and then. The other two have figured out they’re just faster than cats, but he’ll follow them right up to the tree. The squirrels will run just high enough he can’t jump and get them, then turn around and chitter-and-tail-flick at him as though they’re scolding him. Or making fun of him. It’s good entertainment!
My parents used to have Spiritual Exercises once a year, around my birthday (mid-March). We’d have to go too, only instead of “exercising” we got to run around in the yard, much more fun. Usually, one of the days we were there, but only one, every africano* in the yard would be end-to-end attached to another one! It was always kind of dissapointing on those years where it didn’t happen.
our name for those particular bugs, we called them that because they reminded us of Masai shields as seen in movies. Oval, pointy, and with black-on-red spots like ladybugs only the spots were pointy too.
As I was reading this post, two batshit-insane squirrels ran out of a nearby tree, causing massive ruffling of leaves. One chased the other along the top of the trellis for a while, then turned back, sat on top of the trellis, and looked at me. They’re watching me. I can see it in their little squirrely eyes. Maybe one of them was a squirrel-peace-activist, who wants to live in harmony with the humans, while the other wants to enslave us and force us to toil in their underground nut mines.
Also, my grandmother was once bitten by a squirrel. My mother told her “Go on, give it a piece of nut”. She bends over, offers it… the squirrel looks at the nut for a second, then sinks is teeth into my grandmothers finger.
I hate to break it to you, but “squirrel damage” is a frequent excuse that males used to explain the damage from a wild party. It also serves as a sort of coded signal. for support. “Squirrel damage? Oh er, yeah, Bill we had that happen little bastard got in the house and left panti…er, squirrel shit all oer the place. Tore up the drywall real bad, too!”
Oh! Wow, I really was whooshed, I didn’t even connect my use of that phrase to anything. Sorry, I can be a bit naive and blind sometimes if I don’t watch carefully!
VunderBob, if I lived with my family, I’d be the one that was traumatized!
H3Knuckles, I feel the same way about bugs with more than 8 legs. Centipedes ick me right out.
Well, LOUNE, it seems you aren’t alone in being traumatized by squirrels. Fortunately, this didn’t happen to me. I still like the little buggers just fine. But there is at least one other person in this world who shares your pain.
There is only one thing I truly “hate”.
That one thing, as a whole, is “squirrels”.
Fuck squirrels. I hates em. I’d put them in a catapult and shoot them into the next county if I could. Like I said, though, I’ve two beagles that love to chase squirrels. In a 2 block radius from my house, there are few squirrels around.
This is a good thing.
My feral attack kitty also destroys ANYTHING furry and about its size or smaller. He might have something to do with the non-squirrel, placid nature of my neighborhood.
Fuck squirrels.
No, I don’t feel strongly on this issue. Why do you ask?
Oh, come on now.
I’ve been seeing nut hulls in the pump house. They probably went there in the Winter to stay warm. Not a knife in sight, although I did see a small surgical saw that they undoubtably use on the larger nuts.
I wish I could claim credit. I think I actually picked that up in a Dope thread a while back, although I couldn’t for the life of me tell you which one. But I discovered it’s the first link you find if you google “squirrel motorcycle police”.
