The story of a "love ya" , spoken too soon

Zette :slight_smile:

It depends on his definition of ‘love ya’. I have said “I love you” to people that I didn’t “love” in “that” way. A friendly ‘love ya’ is not something to get worried over.

If he sits you down, and says “You know kellibelli, I think I am in love with you and would like to see where our relationship goes.” then you can worry if you are in love with him or not.

As for a friendly ‘love ya’. Don’t sweat it.

Oh, kellibelli, Love ya! :smiley:

This is really early for a “love ya” though isnt it?

I mean, could he really love me already? I keep thinking he cant really be real he is so wonderful - I dont know if I LOVE him yet, but it sure would be easy to do! [/quote

It depends on his definition of ‘love ya’. I have said “I love you” to people that I didn’t “love” in “that” way. A friendly ‘love ya’ is not something to get worried over.

If he sits you down, and says “You know kellibelli, I think I am in love with you and would like to see where our relationship goes.” then you can worry if you are in love with him or not.

As for a friendly ‘love ya’. Don’t sweat it.

Oh, kellibelli, Love ya! :smiley:

I agree, don’t sweat it! (though the poor guy is probably whapping himself on the forehead going, “Drive safely? Drive SAFELY? Oh, what have I done?”)

“Drive Safely” means you are really concerned about him, and want to be able to see him again, and have strong feelings for him, and don’t want him to be horribly disfigured, and … oh my gosh… you “luv ya” him!

Remeber that line. “Drive Safely”. In six months it can be your own “As You Wish” line every couple should have to express their love for one another in their own little code that only makes sense to them.

Go, kellibelli!

Whereas I’m not wise to the world, I do have an opinion. A lot of people are very loose witht he word love. A lot of people use that word carelessly. A lot of people don’t think when they say that word.

I knew my husband was the man I was going to marry four weeks into our relationship. I knew before sex. I knew before I told him I loved him. I told him I loved him before we did have sex. I wouldn’t have had sex with him otherwise.

I also agree that it probly scared the shit out of him if it slipped out. Wether he meant it or not. If he meant it he probly thinks he apears to be a stalker/lunatic. If he didn’t mean it he probly think he has led you on.

I personally would ask him about it. My husband and I had that kind of relationship early on anyways. Embarrasing questions were still embarrasing, but we weren’t teasing or think bad of each other after the confusion was resolved.

I would hope for the best, and hope he does really like you. (but isn’t a weirdo) Don’t get scared by this. Let the days roll. Lots of people fall in love with each other early on in the relationship. There are two types of love. One is immediate and intense. The other grows on people and is very deep. Either one can work in relationship if it is real.

good luck

I will have to remember to not tell Danial to “drive safely” huh?

I have to say it is kinda nice to see Kelli freaked out over a guy for a change…makes me think my life if kinda normal!

I’m gonna preach. I apologize in advance. Sometimes sex comes after love. Sometimes sex isn’t involved for a long time. Sometimes love remains even after there is no more sex. I think love is better. I mean… well, in the short run, sex is, but… oh, never mind – just remember that love can exist without sex.

kelli, I’m going to have to second the idea of being a little extra glad to see him next time he comes around. But just a little.

See, that way, if he said it on purpose and he’s been sweating it, wondering if he went too fast, he will feel reassured. However, if it slipped out and he is wondering if now you think you two are engaged, you will not be overly enthusiatsic and scare him.

So far as falling in love so soon goes, I am constantly amazed by the different ways people can fall in love. We have people on this posting board who fell in love here, getting to know each other without meeting first–nevermind having sex first! I know a set of penpals who got married a couple weeks after they first met, having exchanged letters for a couple years. A friend of my parents met her husband one day, married him two days later and they celebrated their 25th anniversary last year.

My point is that love doesn’t follow rules of time or distance.

To condense what’s already been said: chill, go with the flow, don’t get freaked out too much by that. Be happy to see him the next time, and just take it one day at a time. Love is grand, and it knows no time or boundaries or rules or what’s best or worst or any of that. It just is. Let it be.
Oh, and, Clairmont, may I please use this line as a sig? I’d be ever so grateful.

Well I, for one, sure am glad this wasn’t a breakup story! :smiley:

I knew I was in love with my husband about a week after we met. We were married within a year, and recently celebrated our fifth anniversary. Oh, and I was 28 and he was 34. :smiley:

When my sister got married four years ago, my brother brought a positively lovely woman to the wedding with him as his date. He’d been dating her for about a month. She hadn’t met any of us yet. My family went absolutely crazy for her, and I told my brother flat out, about an hour after meeting her myself, that this was the woman he’d marry. In an unusually personal conversation with my brother (he’s just a guy that doesn’t expose his feelings all that much), he told me that since he’d met her, they’d only spent two days apart. He’d never clicked with anyone that fast, and he thought he might be in love with her, but he didn’t know it was possible for it to happen so soon. When I gently reminded him of how quickly it had happened for me and my husband, he got quiet, then smiled, and said “oh yeah, I guess it can happen that way, can’t it?” Later that evening, she caught the bouquet, and my brother damn near broke his arm trying to catch the garter. He did, and in March, they will be celebrating their third wedding anniversary. :smiley:

So yes, kelli, it can happen that quickly. Maybe your guy meant it, maybe it was a casual thing, others have said. What’s important, though, is for you to be completely honest with him. Don’t tell him you love him just because he’s said it to you. Be sure you mean it. While I don’t know you all that well, I’ve read enough to know that you have been burned in the past. I’m sure that’s why you’re freaked, and IMHO, you’ve got good reason to be. But if this guy is as wonderful as you say he is, he’ll be understanding if you hold back on saying those three little words until you’re absolutely sure.

I’m genuinely happy for you, kelli. I hope that this really is THE GUY for you. You deserve it. :smiley:


Purplebear (love that name)

Feel free to use that line in your signature.

I’m flattered.

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I agree. When my husband and I started dating, I was just recently (like a month) divorced and his finalization was in about 3 months. Needless to say, we were both WAY wary.

He started out singing all of “Fly Me to the Moon” except the last line (I love you) to me.

Finally, he got drunk one night and sang the whole song, and saying afterwards, “I really do, ya know.”

It’s still “our” song. :slight_smile:

I’ve been trying to get slackergirl to vote Superchunk’s “Slack Motherfucker” as our official song, but she’s not into it. I also suggested the J. Geils Band’s “Love Stinks” and Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” – still no dice.

I haven’t tried Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love,” though. Whoa-whoa-whoa.

Well, I emailed him some jokes, with a few x’s & o’s attached, and he sent me some, so all is well.

He is coming over tonight to watch temptation island with me, and meet the kids before they go to bed. Maybe Angkins will ‘happen’ to drop by too…

You have all been so supportive - thank you!!

I still cant beleive Valentine’s day is coming, and I have one! :smiley:

Be careful. For me there’s nothing harder on a relationship than Valentine’s Day.

Except for Birthday’s, Anniversaries, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Martin Luther King’s birthday…

hmmmmm… maybe I just have holiphobia… :slight_smile:

By the way, this is the guy your cat just can’t get to like, right?

Wow! Whatta coinky-dink! Our stories are very similar.

Kelli, I just met the most wonderful woman two weeks ago. We hit it off right away, and on the third date I told her, “I love you.”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. . .

Followed by the longest, deepest, most romantic kiss I have ever shared with a woman. I’m getting all gooey just thinking about it. :slight_smile:

We talked about it later, and while we’re both very excited and a little scared at the same time, we decided that life’s too short. Ya just gotta go for it. Just keep the lines of communication open. That’s the important part.
You go girl.

That reminds me of a gf about 10 years ago. As I recall, I was suave and debonoir enough to utter “I think I might be beginning to fall in love with you”. How’s that for leaving a wide open way out? Her eyes got real big, and she froze. My heart stopped. After not breathing for a while, she smiled and I realized it was a GOOD thing.