You see a plaque with a fuzzy (almost unrecognizable) photo of a man in jackboots. Underneath it are the words
You are in a long north-south hallway, bustling with activity. The east side of the hallway is full of doors, each with a small brass sign on the wall to the left of the door. There is a plaque in the middle of the west wall. At the far north end is a door with a lit sign above it saying “EXIT.”
>
Read plaque.
>gnaw on plaque
You being re-reading the plaque, which looks like it says the same thing it said a moment ago. Looking carefully at the sixth word, you –
–stop reading and attempt to chew the plaque. It is, however, flat against the wall, and you can’t really get your teeth around the edges.
You are in a long north-south hallway, bustling with activity. The east side of the hallway is full of doors, each with a small brass sign on the wall to the left of the door. There is a plaque in the middle of the west wall. At the far north end is a door with a lit sign above it saying “EXIT.”
>
ugh fine
>read the small brass signs
> inventory
> sign guestbook
> open south door
>Begin telling story about three hard-boiled detectives in a vaguely prohibition-style office…
You begin at the north end of the hallway. The first door on the east reads, “Game Room.” The second door —
– You are carrying a 14-year-old thesaurus, a copy of the third Straight Dope book, an MP3 player which is currently playing –
– There is no guestbook to sign in this hallway.
There is no door at the south –
– You are not in one of the rooms. You cannot tell a story here.
>Exit Hallway
>Bungee jump into pit
>Grow wings
You stare up and down the hallway, trying to decide which door would be the “exit.” You notice the big EXIT sign over the door at the end of the hall and walk through it.
You awaken in a strange room. There is a door to the north labeled “EXIT.” There is a door to the south labeled “Straight Dope.” There is a door on the east wall labeled “Staff Only.”
There is a desk in the southeast corner with a large guestbook. A desk in the southwest corner has a sign saying “register here,” and a friendly-looking receptionist sits behind the desk with a pile of registration forms. A stand next to the staff door holds a shiny polished tuba, and a well-worn sousaphone.
There is no pit here.
You feel an itching sensation on your upper back. As the feeling intensifies, it seems that the muscles along your shoulder blades are about to burst through your skin. You fall to your knees and rip off your shirt (looking nothing like a soccer player, by the way) just as two stubby wings erupt from your back. Each wing has several downy feathers on it.
The receptionist raises an eyebrow at you.
>
Enter Straight Dope
Enter MPSIMS
>Pontificate
>Tattoo"Join Date" in left hand and “location” in right hand. [del]Tattoo a funny picture on your chest[/del]
>ask the receptionist out on a date
>Chew on thesaurus in inventory
> Enter “The Game Room”
> Open thread “The Straight Dope Lounge”
Malacandra, if you make the whole thing crash, I’m going to be so put out with you.
There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say:
"There are two types of people: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say…