You awaken in a strange room. There is a door to the north labeled “EXIT.” There is a door to the south labeled “Straight Dope.” There is a door on the east wall labeled “Staff Only.”
There is a desk in the southeast corner with a large guestbook. A desk in the southwest corner has a sign saying “register here,” and a friendly-looking receptionist sits behind the desk with a pile of registration forms. A stand next to the staff door holds a shiny polished tuba, a well-worn souzaphone, and a scrawny turkey costume.
The west wall has a collection of couches and comfy chairs (you are on one of the couches). A steady stream of people are passing through the room and signing the guestbook.