The Stupidest Conspiracy Theories Of All Time

Kindly post the stupidest conspiracy theories of all time you’ve heard, and/or comment on or refute ones others have posted.

I’ll have a go at it:

(A) The Salem Witch Trials; they were a perfect example of human mass hysteria.

(B) The theory that exhaust gas contrails of jets at high altitude is really the government putting chemicals in our atmosphere. :rolleyes:

© The one about the government putting fluoride in toothpaste “just to get rid of it”. :rolleyes:

(D) That the government is hiding wreckage of UFOs and space alien bodies. :rolleyes:

The “vaccines cause autism” nonsense blows them all away, in terms of elaborateness of the fabrication and the harm caused by the spread of the theory.

The moon landings were all faked.

9/11 was a massive government false flag operation.

oh boy, the plases this thread will go

An oldie, but still around: President Kennedy was killed by (1) A second shooter (2) VP Johnson (3) Castro (4) the Mafia (5) Any and all of the above.

Johnson? I never heard of that one.

Jackie believed it.

Stephen King shot John Lennon

One of the stupidest conspiracy theories of all time was the whole Satanic Ritual Abuse shit of the 1980’s. Ruined a lot of lives, and there are still people who believe in a world wide network of Satanists doing unspeakable things, and it’s all being covered up. BULLSHIT!

The Clinton Body Count. A friend of mine was yammering about this the other day. It’s been thoroughly debunked, but evidently still part of conservative canon.

Easily it’s that the world is flat and NASA is a super powerful agency that goes back before the space age and whose role has been to keep this from everyone. They do this, today, by sinking and destroying all ships and planes that approach the 700 foot ice cliffs that demarc the edge of the earth as well as by false propaganda like supposed satellite imagery supposedly showing the earth is round (which it is…it’s just not a sphere, instead it’s a plate with Game of Thrones ice walls all around it).

By far, this is the stupidest conspiracy theory…ever. But it’s also a hell of a lot of fun.

I was going to go with these, but then I remembered the one about Hillary Clinton’s child porn ring located in the basement of a pizza restaurant without a basement and realized that there’s no bottom to the Pit of Stupid.

As long as there is no downside to believing and espousing these things, then there will be no end to believing and espousing them as they provide their own rewards.

It’s awesome to be among those in the know—to not be one of the sheeple.

It feels good.

BTW, Hillary is a lesbian who has had about 100 abortions. I cannot begin to tell you what’s wrong with that one.

I used to know a guy who believed all sorts of nonsense. He talked a lot about special additives to gasoline that would increase mileage. Interestingly, his defense mechanism seemed to be making fairly moderate claims of better performance from his car. However, this left him with no answer to the question, “Isn’t it possible you’re just driving more efficiently?” Dear-in-the-headlights look.

But the best moment came when I asked him to slowly and carefully explain the chemtrails thing. I was sort of surprised he agreed to even have this conversation because he knows I fly planes for a living. So he gave me his rundown on that nefarious scheme, after which I had one question. "So how come I, as a professional pilot, know nothing about this? Even assuming I’m not one of the pilots involved, wouldn’t I have witnessed this in some way?

“Oh, no. You see, they only drop the stuff off the published airways. You only fly the routes on the map, so you’re never near it.”

I looked him in the eye and said, “I fly off the airways all the time. Nearly every day, sometimes for very long distances. Everyone does. Listen to ATC online - every time they clear someone “direct” they’re no longer flying via a published airway.”

Dear-in-the-headlights again. I’ve never seen someone just deflate like that. He was strange in other ways too. Not unintelligent - just a very narrow view of the world. He went to a good college, had a degree in computers. But also went to a church a bare notch above snake handling. Big gaps in his knowledge - turned out he’d never heard of the civil rights movement. Not disliked, not disagreed, never knew a thing about it. I showed him some Wikipedia pictures. Very strange experience talking with him.

To the OP - not sure I agree with including the Salem witch trials. I’d say that’s more an example of incorrect history that people continue to believe just by mistake. Not sure why anyone would have a compelling interest to fervently believe the various inaccuracies associated with it.

One anti-abortion woman I know insists that abortions cause homosexuality. After all, there are more gay people since abortions became legal!

And the whole abortion causing breast cancer myth has been totally debunked, but the anti-abortion crowd still uses it.

I was in a car ride with my sister recently, and we each tried to come up with one conspiracy theory that we actually believed and, to my relief, we couldn’t think of one.

We were left with trying to think of one mystery that we’d really like the answer to, such as what happened to Amelia Earhart, is there really a God, etc.

Having said all that, I will occasionally claim that I believe that the word is flat, just to stir the pot. I do wonder how many of the above theories are just that, folks having fun but not believing the nonsense they are espousing for a second.

More opinion seeking than debate. Moving from GD to IMHO.

[/moderating]

I’ve heard from a couple people that wheat causes homosexuality because the part we eat stores the female hormones of the plant.

Yes, easily the STUPIDEST (who could possibly gain?). Fortunately, probably the most harmless.

(After all, although I’m not sure where he stood on the flat earth issue. apparently Sherlock Holmes thought the Sun circled the Earth. When Watson informed him that it was the other way around, Sherlock said he would do his best to forget this new information, as it could not possibly help him solve crimes. I’m not quite sure what to make of this: clearly Holmes is very siloed, but just as clearly Watson will lose out in EVERY discussion with Holmes, because anything Holmes doesn’t know seems to be, by definition, unimportant. AC Doyle never said he wasn’t a prick.)

The 9/11 conspiracy gets a particularly high ranking from me.

OK, so the GWBush administration wants to fabricate a reason to go to war and get the American people solidly behind him, and he and his neoconservative pals are sneaky and care so little about legitimate governing and are so callous about people’s lives that they faked the events of 9/11.

• Sneaky neocons who care little about the genuine will of the people or people’s lives? Check…

• Best they could come up with is a plan that involves the destruction of a major center of corporate capitalist enterprise? Hmmm… well they weren’t the brightest bulbs…

• And they do it in such a way that they look like incompetent idiots because it will be shown that they ignored warnings about bin Laden and other premonitory data? Ermmm…

•And they plan the day-of-execution of the scheme in such a way that the Conspirator-in-Chief looks entirely like a deer in the headlights while kids around him continue to read “My Pet Goat” instead of looking like a serious President of considerable gravitas and decisiveness? Seriously?..

• And they do it in such a way that the hostile aggressors who did it are not the oil-rich country they actually want to invade but rather instead a mountainous country we helped arm during their phase of resistance to the USSR invaders a few decades ago? And therefore, to redirect our military attention to the nation they actually want to invade, they have to fabricate or misconstrue additional info that does not at all flow from this faked-up attack? Yeesh…

• And they do this pivot of our military attention so clumsily that the enormous upsurge in international good will and sympathy to the US is rapidly squandered, the domestic united-in-our-grief-and-struggle is similarly squandered as demonstators take to the street to protest the WTF sable-rattling and subsequent invasion of Iraq, and they don’t get the identified culprit (Osama bin Laden) who is apparently in Afghanistan before attempting this switch of focus to Iraq? Are you fucking KIDDING me?

Look, either they’re evil conniving conspiratorial planners who are good enough at manipulating perceptions of reality to pull this stunt off, or they’re one of the most incompetent bunch of blithering idiots to come rolling out of clown car, but you can’t have it both ways.