The Sword That Was Broken - yours for only $245!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yep, it’s Christmas catalog time. And last night, we got one that’s full of expensive Tolkienia, if that’s a word. And of course they have a website too, so I can share these images with the rest of you.

The Sword That Was Broken, mounted on a wooden display plaque, only $245.
Sting and Glamdring (Bilbo’s/Frodo’s and Gandalf’s swords, respectively), $295.
Gimli’s axe, a comparative steal at only $129. (Don’t ask me how they left out Legolas’ bow.)

And want to wield power? The Rings of Power can be yours - from those that enslaved the Nazgul to the Dark Lord’s bidding, including a special ring for the Witch-King of Angmar, the seven rings given to the Dwarves, and two of the three Elven-Rings - those of Elrond and Galadriel. (Elrond’s ring is a bit pricey at $295, while the others are $129 or less.)

But of course the clincher is that you can get the One Ring of Power, the Ring that would give the Dark Lord total and complete dominion over Lower Middle Earth, for a mere $295.

Best of all, you could keep that one for yourself, and pawn a $129 gold-plated, sterling-silver knockoff off on the Lord of the Rings. By the time he notices the difference, Barad-Dur will have collapsed around his ears, and you’ll be Ruler of Middle Earth! Won’t that be a trip!

Plus, you can buy Middle Earth brooches, goblets, pendants, and even a $495 chess set. Sheesh - if you can have the One Ring for $295, you can get the Elven-Smiths of Eregion to make you all the cool Middle-Earth chess sets you want, for free. Of course, finding people who’ll give you a good game will be tough - nobody wants to spend the rest of their lives in the dungeons of Dol Guldur, or some equally charming place.

So buy the One Ring while you can - at $295, it’s a steal and a half! :wink:

2

Well.

I know what I want before my next salary review.

3

Yeah, I got that catalogue. I read it in the smallest room in my apartment. It was soon behind me.

[sub]Now watch these things become incredible collector’s items worth thousands of dollars.[/sub]

4

Durn it I want the sword after it’s been fixed! sits at her computer drooling Hmmm adds it to the things to buy when she gets money list

5

Great… Lola and I were discussing getting committment rings with the phrase “And one ring to bind them” engraved.

6

I was a little miffed that the sword that was broken doesn’t have the rest of the peices so it can be remade.

7

“But what happened to the other Rings?” asked Frito.
“Recalled for factory defects,” replied Didldo." They tended to short-circuit in the rain and fry one’s finger off."
“Save the One Ring,” said Goodgulf.

— “Bored of the Rings”, by the Harvard Lampoon (Doug Kenney and Henry C. Beard)

8

“I can’t make out the words,” said Frito.
“No, you cannot,” replied Goodgulf. "They are Elvish, in the tongue of Fordor. A rough translation is:

“This ring, no other, is made by the Elves,
who’d pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,
this is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring,
the Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade;
if found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid).”