The Ten Commandments of Science Fiction Films

Are we talking the future or the 70s?

No, there is one other device that would produce simulated gravity without ripping a spaceship apart—acceleration. That tends to be a bit fuel-demanding though.

Thou shalt always include at least one shot of the heroes’ spaceship making the jump to light speed/hyperspace/warp speed.

All planets visited shall have a gravity exactly the same as Earth’s.

Every alien race thou shall meet will be of one government, one face, one language. There are no ‘countries’ on other planets. Aliens are churned out in factories, just like future humans.

At least one formerly tough, macho man, at first sight of the enemy, will break down into hysterical insanity.

In the future people have forgotten how to shoot accurately.

Despite this truly horrible accuracy, no technological fix will be implemented.

All future handheld weapons must be sadly underpowered.

Future communications technology must be no more reliable then the current string between two cans standard. Communications will frequently be “down”.

In the future, food will be bland, colorless goop.

Most aliens species must really care about the annoying hairless apes from earth, even if only to eat them.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by elf6c *
**In the future people have forgotten how to shoot accurately.
**

Whaddya mean “in the future?” For the most part, people have NEVER shot that accurately. The exceptions are the ones they write history books about.

**
Despite this truly horrible accuracy, no technological fix will be implemented.
**

It remains to be seen if technology can fix the problem.

Thou shalt make it so in order to go.

All computers and other on-board electronics on spaceships must have lots of flashing lights and make beeping sounds, none of which necessarily require having a useful purpose.

Except on Star Trek, there are very few black people in the future, and when one encounters one,

(a) He looks like a dark-complected white person.
(b) He will soon be dead.

The important characters shall never wear any armor that obscures their face

Holes in futuristic technology shall be glossed over

Communications never interrupts an important conversation

At the climactic point of the story, the main characters shall be near an explosion – usually because they did cause the conflagration – and they shalt outrun / outswim / outdrive / outfly the fireball.

The technology needed to build the devices called “fuses” will be lost, and main power lines will be run through every control console, causing massive sparks to fly whenever anything goes wrong.

Ergonomics will be a lost science, as in the future people won’t mind using horrible awkward weapons or standing at a control post for 8 hours straight.

Holograms have feelings, too.

If you can get a person to sick bay/med lab, the doctor there can heal any wound up to, and sometimes including, decapitation.

No one’s body ever rejects bionic implants/prosthetics.

Even if an alien’s only instinct is to kill, it will capture and hold important characters until they can be rescued or kill the alien.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, will use guns that fire light-beams of some sort. When these guns are inneffective, they will simply up the power and try again. And again. (Star Trek: First Contact being a noteworthy exception)

When a crewmember does something incredibly stupid, or defies orders, or in some way does something to endanger the lives of everyone on board the ship, that crewmember must not be shot/thrown into the brig/ shoved out an airlock. They’ll just get a good talking-to.

When a dangerous alien comes along and apparently tries to destroy the ship and/or kill the crew, the first thing the captain must do is ponder just what the alien is trying to say, or consider how it might just be misunderstood. Only then is he free to annihilate it.

No matter what year it is, people will think just like early-21st century Democrats.

Maybe I should change that last one to say: No matter the year or location, the heroes of the show will always agree with the political and social mores of early-21st Century Democrats from the United States, on planet Earth.

** Buck Murdock:** “They’re beeping and they’re flashing. They’re flashing and they’re beeping! I can’t stand it anymore, they’re blinking and they’re flashing!..” :smiley:

Anything which needs to be done in a time-critical manner (e.g., before a countdown runs out) will be done at the last possible moment, usually because either the hero or the main villain has stopped to make a speech. (Actually, this applies to action and fantasy films too).

Ya know, I’ve noticed that.

Here’s another one that’s fairly common:

No matter the year or location, the villains of the show will always agree with the political and social mores of early-21st Century Republicans from the United States, on planet Earth.

As a corollary to the stuff about a) fuses and b) self destruct systems - Thou shalt have no technology that fails safe. Back in the unenlightened days of the 21st century, they may have had power plants and engines that shut off when something went wrong; in the future, even a malfunctioning toaster oven can cause a massive fatal explosion.

Thou shalt have a Science Officer or Chief Engineer who has a god-like knowledge of every conceivable subject, and is able to recall this knowledge in minute detail whenever necessary.

So true.

It’s fun to compare Scotty from TOS with Geordi from NG. The former is a real engineer (“Dammit, captain, I cannot change the laws of physics! I’ve got to have 40 minutes!”), while the later is a walking deus-ex-machina (“If we invert the phase relays and shunt the plasma streams through the tacheon matrix, we should be able to destroy the mysterious energy-being that’s about to kill us all.”)