The Ten Commandments of Science Fiction Films

Add an extra 10 years for television.

Communications lag is non-existant.

Flashing lights eventually show a repetitive pattern.

And one outfit.

There’s always the need for a doctor, even though the med labs computer diagnoses, treats, administers medication, and well, pretty much everything else the doctor should be doing.

Dune.

IIRC, in the most notable version of the miniature hologram, Princess Leia is seen from 3/4 view giving her plea to Obi-Wan. Nice touch, when you think about it.

You missed the third possibility: AI’s are OVER-emotional and throw flamboyant hissy-fits whenever they don’t get their way, and scream like little girls whenever something bad happens.

Thou shalt always avert the total destruction of thy ship/complex with only seconds to spare. The equipment/device which caused the near-destruction shall then function perfectly thereafter with no wear, tear or other indication that anything was ever wrong.

There shall be a specific moment when any disease becomes incurable. Until that second, the disease shall be completely and totally reversible with no after-effects of any kind.

In the future clones shall copy not just a persons DNA but also their memory…

World killing spaceships will take minutes to fly from one end of the galaxy to the other, but will take the rest of the movie to move into position to destroy rebel homeworld.
In addition world killing spaceships will pilot around an obstacle planet to destroy the rebels instead of simply blasting the obstacle planet into bits.

There shalt be a class of individuals who are fairly expendable (ST red shirts, SW storm troopers, etc…) These shall be readily identifiable by the color of their identical uniforms.

There shalt not be any cupholders. No watchstander will ever have a beverage handy during his watch.

Some idiot will always return to collect the station’s/ship’s cat.

With the exception of the expendables, everyone is an officer.

There will be one male crew member on board who places advancement of scientific knowledge above the safety and welfare of the other crew members, exposing the entire crew, as well as the whole human race, to great danger.

With all due respect dougie_monty there was a television show which did all the things you said are never shown, such as paperwork, eating/sleeping, and going to the bathroom. It was the best sci-fi series of all time “Babylon 5”. There was even a whole episode devoted to two maintanence workers and their daily chores. B-5 even had religion, both human and non-human. People had to go on diets, were alcoholic, and the head doctor even got hooked on stimulants for a while.

Universal translators shall somehow, some way make the alien’s mouth appear to be moving in sync with the English translation and the English translation shall somehow, some way appear to be coming from the alien’s mouth instead of the U.T. itself, and it shall sound exactly like the alien’s natural speaking voice and the translation shall happen instantaneously. (Exceptions to this commandment are in TOS’s “Metamorphosis” – the alien itself had no real speaking voice, so the voice actually was coming from the U.T.; David Lynch’s Dune; ST6, wherein Kirk and McCoy used Klingon translators that worked not unlike the translators used today at the U.N.)

And the lord of Sci-Fi proclaimed:

  1. Thou shall raise thy sword and thou shalt be more powerful than the brightest laser or rapidest gatling gun fired armor piercing guided projectile.

  2. Thou shall pilot thy starship of immense girth within throwing distance of thy enemy. Only then shall thy engage thy enemy’s starcruiser with thou blaster weponry.

  3. Thou shall designeth thy evil mega-weapon with one critical design flaw or self destruct device.

  4. Thou shalt not know of love with the exception of inter-special love, inter-robot love, or the love between a captain and some hizzo who won’t be back next episode or the love of one who must die in battle

  5. Thou of A.I. shall either go insane and kill thy crew or spend thy existance trying to be human

  6. Thou shall live only on planets with one homogeneous ecosystem

  7. Thou shall populate thy crew with a loose cannon, an uptight science dork, a naive kid, a hot chick, a robot and an alien.

  8. Thou shall suffer eternity in hell if thou makes a movie about Mars, other than Total Recall

  9. Thou shall remove all hunger, greed, war, poverty and intolerance on anything that is less than an interplanetary scale.

  10. Thou shall worship no God other than a false and/or alien God who leads you on a Jihad against your enemies
    So it has been written!

You know that there’s some techno-babble explanation for this :slight_smile:

Subspace fluctuational manipulations of the reflected photons that come from the subject’s lower facial area, resulting in non-confusational matrix for the benefit of observational data.

Thou shalt pay thy dues to a super power beyond mere thought and existence, which shall cause ye to lift objects out of murky seas to appease thy green master…

I used to think this was a cliche myself, then I saw some footage from the Mir space station, and I swear to God they were doing just that :eek:. Air currents, I guess…

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Evil Captor *
31. No matter how advanced the tech or the social mores of a future society, thou shalt resolve major differences with fistfights.

Also known as the James T. Kirk rule.