Don’t forget French kissing! Though romour has it that’s actually a Dutch invention
Good points, all.
It must be pointed out that the format of the Tour, a 3 week cumulative race, is only one of many appearances. There’s also the European Classics, a series of independant one day races that are very easy to follow: first guy over the finish wins. Of course, the end results ARE compounded into a seasons title. The “Tour” types of races, like Le Tour, the Giro d’Italia, and La Vuelta, do not count for this season title. Neither does the annual world championship, nor the various national titles. All independant.
Although the cumulitative character of Le Tour makes it harder to follow at first, it greatly enhances the sports psychology as well. Team tactics are great to observe, as are sprint tactics, either mass or one-on-one, as in this afternoons great end battle between Comesso and that Ukrainian dude I forget now. A true thriller!!
I’ll leave you now with the sentiment that I think Lance Armstrong is one of the greatest riders ever. Not only did he conquer a deadly disease, only to come back as Tour winner, he also displays as much control and power as Miguel Indurain (the very best) in his best days.
He’s my favourite, even though there’s plenty of Dutch riders to support. None of them are overall title contenders, though. Although Erik Dekker is having a great Tour: he already won three stages.
So, douglips, if you see a guy going the other way, yellow helmet, Western Wheelers jersey, red spandex-clad butt, on a red Trek 5000, wave–chances are it might be me.
Yes, Coldfire, congrats on your countryman Dekker! The only downside is that it seemed that every headline writer in the English-speaking press couldn’t resist using “Triple Dekker!”
Hey, you spandex-wearing, butt-waving, sweat-covered, pedal pusher, (Whoa, that may not be bad in a Go Go bar!) ride your little cycle all you want, just stay away from the 280 onramp when I’m around!!
I suppose that would be hysterical, in a Sun Page Three sort of way. Well, without the tits.
The most impressive part is that he isn’t a sprinter. All other riders who achieved this feat were: Chipolini, Steels, Abdouchaparov (sp?). His first win was amazing: a 230 km. solo, constantly increasing his lead. Yesterday, he was just clever, and lucky to have 10 meters left at the finish before Zabel got there. Zabel hasn’t won a stage since 1997! This guy must be SO pissed. The best sprinter around, and without a Tour win for three years…
Milossarian,
Now, I respect you, and you generally seem to be sane, but,
what in the name of cheeee-rist are you whimpering about? Cycle racing gets about 15 cumulative minutes of coverage a year and you’re bitching about it. Baseball players getting busted, cussing, et al anything BESIDES playing the game get more coverage than that. For some reason baseball has even apparently been christened NPR’s americana-aw-shucks subject of the goddamned year and there’s some schmaltzy baseball-field-rejuvenation-oiling-my-old-mitt story every 20 minutes, and this is on NPR, where I usually try to escape from all this jock-o crap.
Coldie, what happened to Steels in the race this year?
Geez, someone’s bitching about the only sport I actually want to see more of on TV. As an American I know I should be all gung-ho for Lance Armstrong, and he does seem like an incredible guy, and all that, however, as someone who weighs 130 pounds and has massive quads, I can’t help but root for Pantani myself (now the past controversies over his hematocrit levels are certainly worth a good rant). Somehow, this constant barrage of media coverage that so annoys Milo has almost completely eluded me, so I have no idea what’s going on, or if it’s even over yet.
Personally, I think the Tour de France is far more intuitively obvious than American football. I mean it’s not like the Festina team gets a couple seconds off their cumulative time if the little skinny guy that doesn’t do much else gets a “point after”. But then again, I happen to like European sports more, although I will say that soccer doesn’t really excite me, especially on TV. Now compare Formula One and the 24 Hours of Le Mans to the Indy 500 and NASCAR, and try to deefend American sports.
As for the French, they also gave us cognac, and there’s the aforementioned Le Mans. French bread is pretty good. I like wine, and I’ll just assume that real champagne is even better than the $2 a bottle stuff I like to drink. After that it’s starting to look pretty scarce.
oh no . . . I am now spewing Coke out of nose, guffaw, chortle . . . LMAO. Milo - you do kill me.
As for the OP, I respect the dedication and endurance it takes to compete in le Tour. The fact that I find it as interesting to watch as say, grass growing, is my own fault I suppose. FWIW I would rather see Tour stuff on SportsCenter before more freakin idiocy known as the WNBA. Then again, I’d rather see midget bowling highlights before the WNBA. To each his own I suppose.
And Champagne. And the concept of lingering 6 hours over dinner. And those tiny French maid uniforms. Of course they’ll sell a Mirage with a full rack of Excorcets to any nomad who can work out a payment plan, but we all have our faults.
But regarding that strange bike race, I decided it was too kinky after a couple things.
First, my dad bought this fancy French racing bike to ride around the block. Sometimes he’s a strange old duck. First thing he had to do was replace the seat, which was rock hard and about 2" wide. But before he got around to it I foolishly borrowed the bike for a day ride. Everybody thought I was a savage because I was standing on the pedals at every hill, but I was really just desperately trying to get some circulation back into my nads. I knew the French were kinky, but strapping an oak plank to a post and calling it a seat is too much for me.
Then I saw a photo from last year’s tour. This skinny half dead cyclist was standing on the pedals and laying on the handlebars. Alongside, a doctor on the back of a motorcycle was pulling down his shorts and smearing salve on a pair of nasty rude purple raspberries on his ass where the seat rides. I mean it was a full moon, just about winking at me. I don’t know how they snuck it into the paper but there it was. Apparently these guys haven’t heard about the miracle of closed cell foam and gel pads. Or maybe they’re just all really kinky and they savor the bittersweet pleasure of intense pain, who knows. But if that’s what happens to all their asses I don’t want to know about it and I sure as hell don’t want to watch it. They should all just sit around and whip themselves across the shins with steel rods, it’d be more entertaining and less painful. Too much S&M for me
Um, perhaps 22 or whatever days of biking a couple hundred miles per day is a bit much to ask of any padding system without it getting in the way. Competing in the Tour de France, like any sporting event of its caliber, is probably only seriously attempted by people who can live with agonizing pain. That’s why we are the spectators and they are the competitors. That’s why reasonable people don’t give two shits about golf or bowling.
A picture like the one you describe would strike me as a portrait of amazing dedication. Granted, not one that would make a good motivational poster for the boss to hang up near the water cooler, but something mildly inspirational nonetheless.
Oh, and if your seat hurts that bad, you’re probably leaning on your nads too much. Plus you could just go and buy one of those seats that are designed to put the pressure on your ass. Seems there’s a market for things that enable you to not abuse the arteries that supply the necessary blood for an erection.
You know what? Where I work, that photo might make a very accurate motivational poster if-ya-know-waddi-mean. But I’ve ranted about that shit enough already.
We changed the seat already. Besides, a weekend warrior like me isn’t likely to spend enough time in the saddle to do any damage. But it is sorta disturbing to lose sensation in the old command center. I just don’t understand why the French use a seat so small it might slip up your ass if you hit a pothole, that’s all. I gotta believe they just do it on purpose because they dig it.
