The Ultimate Recipe Thread!

[Zenster]

We shall begin this new thread with a recipe that has been posted elsewhere on the boards. More will follow in short order. Please contribute early and often.

Let’s start with barbecued pork ribs:

1. Buy the meatiest ribs you can find. They should have a fair degree of streaking to them (i.e., fat). Avoid frozen ribs as they can be very dry from the freezing and thawing processes. If you really want to throw your money away, buy “baby back” ribs. The concept of boiling or roasting the ribs is for crude beginners and will not be discussed further. I still shiver to think of my beginner days when I would cut up the slabs and simmer them off in Chris and Pitts’ tomato based garbage sauce before grilling them over an open kettle.

2. Per The Rendezvous, I soak my ribs overnight in a bucket of 50 / 50 apple cider vinegar and water. If spoilage is a concern, toss in a sack of ice. Be sure to stir the tub every so often, as the vinegar will settle and chemically cook the ribs on the bottom. Better yet, every few hours, turn the ribs in the tub moving the top ones to the bottom. Be sure to save the marinating mixture for mopping and humidifying the ribs.

3. In the morning, get the ribs out of the tub and dry them off completely. Be sure to get under the flap meat too. I usually lay out the ribs on a slit open (unused) garbage bag. Get out your dry rub (dry rub pointers to follow) and sprinkle it all over the ribs. Cover with plastic if you are concerned about hygiene and bee bugs. About this time place a generous handful of hardwood chips in a bowl of water and weigh them down with another plate or bowl to keep them submerged. Hickory and apple wood are my favorites.

4. Get outside and light off your charcoal. Be sure to pile all of your charcoal to one side of your kettle. Avoid using lighter fluid. I just shave up some wood and start it all with some newspaper. Electric charcoal lighters work fine too. If you are in a hurry, use a hair dryer to fan the coals. Yeah, you look a little silly styling your kettle, but you’ll have coals in less than a half an hour. Put the grill over the coals to burn off the encrustation from the last time. A wire brush can also help with this.

5. Before starting the ribs, put a clean tin can full of the marinating mixture on the grill over the coals. This will provide a moist environment for your barbecue. If you have a small kettle or a large quantity of ribs you may want to have some more coals ashing up in another grill to be added to the main one during the cooking process. If you are using a propane grill start both sides on high to warm up the entire grill. Before placing the ribs on the grill, turn off one side and place the ribs over the unlit section. The placement of the coals to one side and having one side of your propane grill unlit both accomplish the same thing. You want INDIRECT heat to cook over. If you want charred and crusty inedible crap on your table, go ahead and cook directly over the coals.

6. If needed, oil the grill ahead of time. Place the ribs bone side down on the grill. ALWAYS cook your ribs bone side down for the entire duration of the cooking period. Only if you are in a dreadful hurry should you ever flip your ribs to the meat side. I usually just stack about three or four slabs on top of each other. Be careful not to scrape off a lot of the dry rub when placing the ribs on the grill. If needed, patch up any bare spots with a sprinkle or two of dry rub. At this time add a small amount of the soaked hardwood chips to the coals. Check to make sure the tin can of marinade is topped off and place the cover on your kettle. Choke off the kettle’s airflow to a bare minimum to keep the coals burning and watch / listen carefully for any flare ups. If flare ups occur, use a spray bottle to douse them.

7. Every so often, check the ribs and rotate the bottom slab to the top. If you have a fancy propane rig with the middle and top racks, use them for excellent results. Again, be careful not to bust off too much of the dry rub crust when rotating the slabs. Once the crust has set well, you may occasionally mop the slabs with some of the marinating liquid. Always check the tin can and top it off whenever it needs it. Use tongs to avoid piercing the meat and drying it out. Remember to add some of the hardwood chips periodically in between beers. Remember to heat your barbecue sauce somewhere around this time.

8. The ribs are done when the meat pulls back from the ends of the bones by about 1/4"-1/2". There should be a nice glaze on them and they should be moist and tender. Cut off one of the tiny end ribs to check. The end rib should be thoroughly cooked so that the larger ones will then be at the perfect state of doneness. It is at this point that the fist fights can begin. All of you pantywaists can feel free to apply some sauce during the last stage of the cooking. Any sufficiently prepared rib will not benefit from this. You will merely mask your splendid dry rub and stop your guests from appreciating the magnificence of a dry rubbed rib. Nuff said.

9. Prevent your guests from charging at you by using pepper spray or a Taser as you bring the slabs to the table. Singulate the ribs and dispense them with the righteous and regal air that you deserve. Try to remember to have some sauce on them, but be sure that your guests try a rib or two without any sauce so that they understand the culinary magic that has been woven in front of them. Take a bow and keep your recipe well hidden from prying eyes.

10. If this does not make for the finest ribs you’ve ever had. I will personally refund every penny you paid for these pointers.

PS: Some people remove the underside membrane from the rack of ribs. This is not my own practice, but it might yield an even more tender and smokey product. I may even try it sometime.
Some dry rub pointers:

A. You will have to pry my recipe out of my cold dead hands.

B. Use more sugar than salt.

C. Use both brown and white (cane) sugar.

D. Careful with the powdered Cumin, it takes over in a hurry.

E. Use a little cornstarch to help bind the rub to the meat.

F. Keep the heat down, you can always add it later.

[Zenster]

This is the ultimate hangover and flu / cold cure.

Sopa de Pollo con Arroz
(Chicken and Rice Soup)

**Ingredients: **

1 Whole chicken
1 Large Russet potato
2 Carrots
1 Large tomato
2 Ribs of celery (with leaves)
2 Cloves of garlic
1 Tbs. of salt (or more)
1/2 White onion (do not use red onion)
1/2 Cup of washed rice
1/4 Head of Cannonball cabbage
1/8 Cup of chopped cilantro
1/8 Tsp. of ground cumin
1/8 Tsp. of ground white pepper
Dash of Crystal hot sauce

Preparation:

Extract giblets from chicken and remove the liver. Place chicken in a pot of water just large enough to hold it. Cover with 1-2 quarts of water and add the giblets. Add salt and bring to a boil, skimming off any foam. Reduce heat, cover pot, and simmer for 2 or more hours. Chicken should fall apart after cooking. Completely bone out the cooked chicken. Separate white meat for use in the finished soup. Crack the bones and return them to the stock with the skin. Add all other non-meat parts of the chicken back to the stock. Bring stock and giblets back to a fast simmer. Cook stock for 1/2-1 hour longer. Begin washing rice. Strain stock and remove most, but not all of the fat. Peel the potato, tomato and carrots. Bring stock to a boil and reduce heat. Cut carrots into coins and add. Dice potato into 1/2" cubes and add to pot. Cut cabbage into 1" chunks and add. Chop onion coarsely and add. Press or finely mince the garlic and add. Slice celery into medium pieces and add. Peel and seed tomato and add. Strain tomato juice from seeds and add. Chop cilantro leaves and add. Chop some of the celery leaves and add. Dice chicken white meat into 1/2" chunks and add. Finish washing rice and add to soup. During last half hour of cooking add all other spices. Adjust salt to taste (this recipe can take a lot of salt. Avoid adding too much cumin, it will spoil the flavor.

DO NOT let the soup boil, it will turn to mush
DO NOT let the chicken liver cook in the soup

When the rice begins to “bloom” turn off the heat
Elbow macaroni, stars or alphabet pasta may be used
If using pasta, omit or reduce the amount of rice
If the stock is made right it will gel when chilled

This recipe cheerfully stolen from:

Mario’s La Fiesta Mexican restaurant in Berkeley, CA

[Zenster]

Vegetarian Appetizer

Serves 4 - 6 people
(This is an informal dish best eaten with your hands)

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:

1 Package of pita bread
1/2-1 Pound of Feta (French or Danish)
6-8 Leaves of Iceberg or Romaine lettuce
1-2 Ripe salad or beefsteak tomatoes
1 Cucumber (English is nice)
1 Red Onion (use red only)
1/8 Cup olive oil (Greek oil is nice)
Powdered paprika or zatar (garnish)
Preparation:

Chill all vegetables ahead of time. Chill a platter in freezer for 10 minutes. Preheat oven at 250 F for 10 minutes. Peel cucumber and slice thinly. (For color, peel the cucumber with thin alternating stripes of peel left on. Wash and separate the lettuce leaves. Cut stack of pita bread in half and wrap entire loaf in foil. (Slicing bread before heating avoids the cut edges of the bread sticking together.) If pita bread is not perfectly fresh sprinkle with a little water before wrapping in foil. (Bread may be heated in a microwave oven, do not use foil). Place bread in oven and turn off heat after three minutes. Remove platter from freezer and cover with lettuce leaves. (For less mayhem at the table you may wish to quarter the leaves first.) Cut tomatoes into medium to thin slices. Cut red onion into thin sliced rings. (For fancy presentation the onion slices may be marinated in red wine vinegar.) Cut Feta cheese into medium to thin slices. (While slicing cheese, allow the slice that had stuck to your knife blade to be pushed off by the next one being cut, or use a cheese wire to obtain whole even slices.) Fan concentric circles of tomato, onion and cucumber around the platter’s edge. Create a spiral of the Feta cheese slices in the center of the platter. (Hide any broken pieces of Feta under the other slices.) Drizzle olive oil over the slices of Feta and sprinkle a little paprika or zatar over them. Remove warmed pita from the oven and place in a covered bread basket.

Serve immediately.

Note: For the ultimate cutsie tootsie appetizer use a thin wall drinking glass or biscuit/cookie cutter to cut 3-4" circlets of pita from the edge of the whole piece of bread (thus creating little "mini-pitas). Line each of the small pitas with a leaf of baby lettuce. Then stuff them with a slice of tomato, cucumber, a small amount of red onion and some Feta cheese. This is a perfect finger food for parties or more formal occasions.

This method of preparation will take quite a bit longer than the recipe above.
Recipe lifted from “The Armenian Gourmet” in Sunnyvale, CA (Thanks Aram!)

[Zenster]

Perfect Hash Browns

Much mayhem could occur over the mere definition of the term Hash Browns. Let us first agree that there are three different varieties:

Shoestring Potatoes, Home Fries and Hash Browns.

Each shall be dealt with in turn. First of all;

Shoestring Potatoes:

I personally recommend peeling any potatoes that you are going to fry, the jacket can add a quite bitter flavor and the extra nutrients obtained therefrom are minimal. In addition, all of the following recipes call out for Russet potatoes, use any other types at your own risk.

Grate at least two large, peeled potatoes per person. When grating, use long strokes across the surface of the grater. A back and forth motion will create snippets that turn into mush in the frying pan. Long strokes will give you the threads than make for a perfect breakfast. Beware of food processors, they will create the short threads that are unacceptable. Once the potatoes are grated, place them in a colander or sieve and wash them thoroughly. This is critical for success. Similar to rice, wash the spuds until the water is clear. With your hands, squeeze the threads occasionally to remove the unwanted starch. At this point the potatoes may be stored submerged in water for a day or two. Drain the potatoes thoroughly and, for best results, dry them as well. Use a clean cloth towel or a quantity of paper towels and wring them out completely. It has occurred to me that a salad spinner may work perfectly for this process. While drying the washed and grated potatoes, heat a large skillet to near smoking temperature. Since we are not talking about health food here, use butter, you may mix it with a little oil too, but if you don’t use butter (or at least a VERY high quality margarine) you will get slop. When the butter begins to foam in the pan, add the washed and dried shoestring potatoes. Avoid cooling the pan by adding too many of the spuds at once. Cover the bottom of the pan completely to obtain the maximum area of crust and use a spatula to scrape any threads that may have stuck to the sides of the pan back onto the heap. Salt the potatoes while they cook. This is essential. If you do not salt them while they cook, there is no amount of salt that you can add at the table to achieve the correct flavor. Under NO circumstances should you EVER press down on the heap of threads with the back of your spatula. If you do, just throw the pan out and start over. You will not speed up the cooking process by squashing them, and will merely create a slab of library paste. Similarly, DO NOT cover the pan while the potatoes cook, this will turn them to mush as well. Periodically scrape underneath the pile of threads to loosen them and prevent them from sticking to the pan. Once in a while tilt the skillet in various directions to ensure that the melted butter has reached all corners of the pan. If it does not, add more butter or oil. To create the perfect pan of fried potatoes you will want to flip them en masse like a pancake, by tossing them in the air and catching them in the pan again. This takes some practice but makes for the perfect crust. Beware of any hot, splashing liquids when flipping the potatoes. Whatever you do, avoid breaking up the crust when turning them. Prior to flipping the pan of spuds, dot the uncooked side with a few pats of butter. Salt the spuds after flipping them. It is better to nearly burn the spuds than it is to serve them undercooked. Avoid filching the crust while the other side crisps.

(Incidentally, the washed, uncooked threads are perfect for making potato pancakes or “Latkes” as well.)
Home Fries:

For perfect Home Fries it is critical to start with partially cooked potatoes. Cooking the potatoes can be done the night before. Boil a pot of salted water while peeling the potatoes. As soon as the water boils add the spuds. If you have vastly different sized potatoes, cut the larger ones down to the same size as the smaller ones. Keep the spuds in the largest pieces possible and cook them slowly. Large pieces will cook slower and allow you to catch them when they are cooked approximately two-thirds of the way. If the potatoes are flaking, they are overcooked. They should be firm and not slide off of the fork when pulled from the water. Cut the spuds into medium to thin slices and add them to a large and nearly smoking hot skillet. Use butter to fry them, and perhaps a little oil too. Salt them as they cook and avoid turning them too often as this tends to break them up a bit. Brown them well and drain them on a paper towel if they seem too oily after cooking. Tilting the pan prior to removal is a good way of draining them.
Hash Browns:

The technical definition of “hashed” anything involves the addition of some milk, half and half or cream during the final stages of cooking (see recipes for corned or roast beef hash). The milk caseins (what makes milk white) contribute to the browning of the spuds and gives them a moist, rich flavor and texture. Follow the recipe for home fries and dice or slice the potatoes as you see fit. Salt them as they cook and at the very last stage of preparation splash about one quarter to one half of a cup of dairy into the pan. Do not cover them so as to allow the dairy to evaporate. Be careful not to scorch the pan at this point. If your skillet is not completely seasoned, you may experience some sticking as well.
Notes:

Feel free to ruin any of the above recipes by adding onion, grated carrot or other frou-frou ingredients. Being of Danish descent, this is a meat and potatoes world as far as I’m concerned. Top any of the above cooked spuds with some finely grated Monterey Jack cheese and garnish with chopped parsley if you are trying to impress your guests. If you have not tried mashing a poached or sunny side up egg into your spuds you have not yet lived. Serve with Jimmy Dean silver label sage recipe sausage, Swift’s Premium skinless beef link sausages (I can’t believe I’m recommending a frozen food!) or a rasher of apple wood smoked bacon on the side.

Enjoy!

[Scylla]

Zenster:

Those ribs… Oh God! I’m about to cry!
Authentic Cajun Gumbo.

Crabs
Shrimp
Clams or oysters
Crawfish or other shellfish
Onions
Celery
Bell Pepper
Spices
Fish Bones (I like the remains of a blackened flounder or redfish)
Peel the shrimp Take the meat from the crabs, put all the shells and the fishbones into a pot with a chopped onion a piece of celery some garlic and a dash or two of salt. Simmer for several hours. This is your stock.

Chop 3 onions, 3 bell peppers, lots of garlic, and a thing of celery very fine. Sautee with one-half stick of butter over very low heat stirring frequently. The idea is to cook all the moisture out of the vegetables until they basically disentegrate. Keep stirring until it turns a rich dark brown. Add black pepper, white pepper, red pepper, cumin, Paprika. Cook until almost black (this does not mean burned.)

Add strained stock into mixture, stir until dissolved, simmer one hour, stirring during commercials. You can add bay leaves here if you want.

Strain entire mixture one more time.

Add fresh chopped onions, celery, and bell pepper, and bring it to a boil.

This is the crucial moment. Taste your Gumbo. If you’ve done this correctly you will need to add more seasonings, salt red pepper, black pepper, each one is different. After reseasoning, let simmer for half an hour while you cook your rice.

Add your crabs, clams, crawfish, and what have you, and simmer for ten minutes.

Put a scoop of rice into each bowl. Pour Gumbo on top, serve with French bread.

If you’ve done this right, you will have eared your place in heaven.

[Johnny_L.A]

A co-worker gave me the recipe for “Gestapo Soup”. (Kinda like hot gespacho with meat and a funny name.) But I’ve been sworn to secrecy. And I can only make it to A) Try the recipe; and B) to impress my girlfriend (when I get a girlfriend).

Sooooo…

Capellini Alfredo con Funghi (or con Pollo)

Make an alfredo sauce as usual (equal parts butter, heavy cream and fresh, grated parmasan cheese).

Sauté portobello mushrooms (sliced into bite-sized chunks) in olive oil with grushed garlic and some pepper.

(For con Pollo, sauté bite-sized chicken breast peices in olive oil with crushed garlic and some pepper.)

Add the funghi (or pollo) to the alfredo sauce. Toss with angelhair pasta and serve immediately.

[Scylla]

Dangerous Chicken is dangerous twice, when you cook it and when you eat it.

Take a black cast iron frying pan and put it on high heat until a white ash forms in the bottom. Leave it there.

Cut two chicken breasts into one inch cubes. Get fresh ones, ok?

Take three cloves of garlic. Chop them into a fine meal along with one cubic inch of fresh ginger root. Put it into a bowl with the chicken. Add one teaspoon of course black pepper. Add one half bottle of Joe’s Louisiana hot sauce (you can also use Crystal) Take one third of a stick of butter and chop it into little pieces.

Mix all this in a bowl and let sit for half an hour while you cook your rice.

By now your pan should be glowing.

All at once dump the bowl of chichen into the pan. Use a spatula to make sure it forms one layer at the bottom but don’t disturb it to much.

At this point most likely to things will happen.

1. The pan will burst into flames

2. You may start to succumb to the fumes which may seem highly toxic.

The flames will go out by themselves, but you might want to turn the hood ventilator on.

After one minute stir quickly scraping the bottom of the pan.

The chicken should cook very quickly, taking no more than 3-4 minutes depending on the level of heat, and the thickness of your pan.

Serve on rice. It will be dangerous here too, but delicious. Turst me.

[Chef_Troy]

2 lbs. roma tomatoes
4 large red bell peppers
1 large onion, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon finely minced fresh basil (or 1 teaspoon dried basil)
1 tablespoon sugar
4 cups chicken broth
1 pint cream or half-and-half
Crème fraiche or sour cream for garnish

Set oven to broil. Arrange tomatoes in a single layer on a cookie sheet and place 3" or so under the broiler, turning frequently, until skins are completely burned and blistered. Place tomatoes in a large ziploc bag to steam and cool. Repeat with halved bell peppers. When cooled enough to handle, halve and seed tomatoes, then coarsely chop tomatoes and peppers and combine them in a bowl.

In a heavy soup pot, sauté chopped onion in olive oil over medium-high heat until translucent and beginning to caramelize. Lower heat to medium. Add tomatoes and peppers, along with any liquid they have given off; cook until tomatoes and peppers are soft and beginning to break down. Add basil, reserving a bit for garnish, and simmer for five minutes; add sugar to balance the acidity of the tomatoes.

Purée tomato mixture in a blender or food mill, working in batches. Strain purée to remove any remaining fibers and return to pot (you want this to be as smooth as you can make it). Add chicken broth to desired consistency and simmer five additional minutes. Stir in cream. Serve hot with a dollop of crème fraiche or sour cream on top, sprinkled with reserved basil.

[tatertot]

Per The Rendezvous

I haven’t been to The Rendezvous in ages! We’re talking about The Rendezvous in Memphis, right? I want to try your recipe but I haven’t got a grill, or a yard. You don’t want to know what they do to ribs around here.

[Ukulele_Ike]

Yike! I love recipe threads, but this one is too damn GENERAL!!! Exit, stage right!

Why not start a COUPLE instead?

“Here’s the Right Way to Grill Spare Ribs!”
“Frying Potatoes? Here’s How!”
“Gumbo a la Scylla!”
“The Great Chef Troy Mystery! Is it a Soup, or is it a Sauce?”

[KimKatt]

Too general? Pshaw.

Chicken Parmesan

This recipe is quick, easy, and very customizable to your own tastes.

Ingredients:

4 Chicken breasts, skinless and boneless
Dry bread crumbs
Grated parmesan or romano cheese
Basil
Oregano
1 cup Tomato sauce
Black pepper
Mozarella cheese, sliced thin or shredded
Cooking spray

Pound chicken breasts until they are a uniform thickness - should be somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 an inch thick.

Combine bread crumbs, parmesan, basil, and oregano. Start with about 1/2 cup of bread crumbs, 1/2 tsp of basil, 1/2 tsp of oregano, and 2 tbsp of cheese. Next time around, you can add more or less to suit your own tastes.

Spray a large, preferably non-stick frying pan, and heat over medium-high heat.

Cover each side of each chicken breast with the bread crumb mixture by laying each down on the crumbs on the plate, then turning it over. Add more crumbs as needed, but keep your mix separate, as you can store any crumbs that have not been in contact with the raw chicken in the fridge for next time.

Brown chicken for about two minutes on each side. You want a golden brown colour. Watch it during this time, as stove top heat varies - mine takes about 2 minutes on med high, yours might be faster or slower.

When the chicken is browned, add the tomato sauce to the pan. Pour it over the tops of the chicken breasts, then turn each one over so that there is sauce between the chicken and the pan. Then pour more over the chicken. Sprinkle more basil and oregano over the sauce and chicken, and some pepper.

Cover this and let it cook on simmer for about 10 minutes.

Right before serving, turn the heat off. Top the chicken breast with the mozarella, then re-cover just long enough to let the cheese melt.

Recommended accompaniments: Green salad and garlic bread.

[tradesilicon]

Dammit, I’m trying to eat less. Now I want to try every one of these instead! Shit.

Fair Enough, here comes a BBQ meat recipy, good for Pork or Lamb. (I’ve posted this before, but seems like a good place for it.)

Buy some meat which is either cut into cubes or can easily be cut into cubes (about 2 1/2" square), prefereably with some fat. (Very lean meat will be too dry).

For every three cubes you will need a skewer.

[ul]
[li]Pour red wine vinegar or squeese fresh lemon into pot[/li][li]Sprinkle layer of salt and coarse ground black pepper[/li][li]Place one layer of meat into pot, packed snug[/li][li]Slice fresh white onions into rings (you may want them on skewers later) and cover the layer of meat with a layer of onions.[/li][li]Repeat until all meat is packed (including vinegar, salt, pepper, and onions on each layer)[/li][li]Some like to place a heavy object on top of the last layer of meat and spices.[/li][li]Let this stand at room temperature overnight (bet 50 - 60 degrees F)[/li][li]When ready to cook, skewer the meat three to four cubes per stick, and leave space in between. Put the onion rings on skewers if you like.[/li][li]Cook over very hot coals (max) for 10 - 12 minutes. Better if not cooked on Gas grill, takes the juice out of it. Some don’t like pork cooked anything less than medium, but this begs for medium rare.[/li][/ul]
Goes great with Red wine, like Merlot. The more wine you have, the better the meat goes down.

Zenster, great recipes.

[Needs2know]

Thank goodness you guys started this thread…has anyone noticed that the cooking websites out there have nothing but casseroles.

Does anyone else find these conglomerations disgusting? Or is it just me after years of “luncheons” at work? How is it appetizing to throw a bunch of stuff into a dish, cover it with cheese and call it good food? I’d rather have a can of Campbell’s Tomato and grilled American cheese on white bread than eat or feed casseroles to my family 3 nights a week.

Needs2know

[Ukulele_Ike]

Needs:

I actually LOVE casseroles. I consider 'em the epitome of Comfort Food.

You’re right, they’ve gotten a bad rap because of the 1950s suburban-housewife technique of lobbing Velveeta and a few cans of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom on top of a pan of macaroni. And my wife doesn’t let me make casseroles very often, because they’re not exactly Lite Cuisine.

Check out some of the recipes in THE GREENS COOKBOOK and its sequels, THE SAVORY WAY and FIELDS OF GREENS (the recipes supposedly originated with Greens, the famous vegetarian restaurant in San Francisco). They call them gratins, which is fancier. One of our favorites is made from homemade polenta, which is allowed to set and then cut into triangles, and baked with artichokes, nicoise olives, plum tomatoes, and fontina, in a base of homemade tomato sauce.

I also love pasticcio, the Greek version of lasagne…a layer of cooked noodles, a layer of highly-spiced ground meat, a layer of cheese sauce, baked until browned.

[Needs2know]

Is that what you call that Greek lasagna? Years ago in high school I worked for a short time with a family of Greeks. The owner’s mama didn’t speak English. She made a big pan of that and we were serving it as the lunch special. Every time we dipped some spagetti sauce on top of it she had a fit. But the customers wouldn’t eat it without it swimming in sauce. I ate it for lunch that day, sans sauce and it was great. But then I don’t like my pasta “over sauced” anyway.

I don’t think casseroles got a bad rap in the 60’s. The only casserole I’d ever had back then was tuna noodle and sweet potato (which I still like on Thanksgiving sometimes). Look on the net. The stuff is disgusting. And they have variations on just about every cuisine you can think of…even Chinese!

Yeah I know what a gratin is…I make them occasionally too. Potato of course, squash, or rutabaga. I rarely use a recipe just improvise. Have you seen those disgusting things with cheese and pineapple, or frozen shredded potatoes, and the worse offense of all …the ever present at every luncheon…GREEN BEAN (auk!) It doesn’t even look appetizing to me. Looks like something you yak up after dinner!!!

Oh no… this reminds me of the worst eatery chain in the free world…Cracker Barrel. What is it with that place? It’s an abomination to home cooking. (uugggg!)

Needs2know

[Scylla]

High Quality:

For your Fillet Mignon, Shell, Strip, or other high quality cut, you are only allowed to cook it in the following manner.

Heat thy cast iron frying pan, as hot as you can, then go hotter.

Marinate your steake in a hint of soy, Teriaki, garlic, ginger, and black pepper.

Throw a stick of butter in the pan, before it flames up, throw your steak on top of it. Cover. Cook for one minute. Flip. Cook for 30 seconds. If your steak was one inch thick it will now be a perfect medium rare. You may need to adjust for pan and heat, but don’t go more than two minutes with these babies.

You may serve your steak with sauteed mushrooms and onions, use oil and soy sauce with them.

You may serve creamed spinach with your steak.

You may serve home made onion rings.

Slice onion into rings, heat oil to 375 degrees (you use peanut oil) Take flour, tabasco sauce salt, red pepper, white pepper, black pepper and enough water to create a batter that will coat the back of a spoon. Put an ice cube in the batter to keep it thick. Dip onion rings into batter and fry a couple at a time until a golden brown.
You may serve French fries with your steak.

Cook them this way.

Parboil whole potatos. Slice lengthwise into quarters or sixths depending on size. Place a little bit of salt red pepper, black pepper, white pepper, cumin, and flour as a binder into a hefty bag. Put potato chunks in bag, and shake well. Cook in peanut oil at 375 for 5 minutes. Allow to cool. Recook at 375 until done.
You may not cook or serve high quality steaks in any other fashion. I will kill you. You will go to hell.

Flank steak.
Marinate in orange juice, honey, teryiaki, soy, black pepper, rosemary diced onion, and garlic after you’ve scored meat. Marinate for 1 day.

Grill. Coat with marinade as it’s grilling. Keep it moist. Your marinade should be simmering on the grill while you cook.

When medium rare, slice at an angle to produce thin large slices. Serve with rice and an orange slice.

Sirloin:

Put a beer in a pot. Bring to boil. Add Jalapeno peppers, salt, onion, garlic, white pepper, black pepper, red pepper, teryiaki and soy sauce. Allow marinade to cool. Put marinade in ziploc bag. Put sirloin in bag, squeeze out all air and seal. Let it sit in the fridge for 3-5 days. Grill that bad boy, slice like flank, and serve with fries or rings as above.

Hamburger:

Who gives a shit how you cook a fucking hamburger! You want a hamburger, go to Burger King, you bastard!

Fajitas

Fajita steak is among Heaven’s perfect food. I’ll tell you how to cook them when I get Zenster’s dry rub, and not before.

[Zenster]

Guacamole

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Serves 4-8

Ingredients:

3-4 Medium to large Haas avocados
1-2 Ripe salad tomatoes
1-2 Cloves of garlic
1-2 Tbs. of lime juice (~½ lime)
1-2 Tbs. chopped cilantro leaves
1/4 Cup of grated white onion pulp
1/4 Tsp. salt
1/8 Tsp. fine grind white pepper
1/8 Tsp. of Crystal hot sauce

Pinch of ground cumin (use sparingly)
Pinch of Cayenne pepper

Preparation:

Squeeze the limejuice into the mixing bowl. (This will acidulate the avocado to avoid any browning.) Halve and seed the avocados and scoop out flesh into mixing bowl. Peel and crush or finely mince the garlic and add to the avocado. Peel half an onion and grate into the bowl using a fine tooth grater. Cut tomatoes in half across their equator. Squeeze juice and seeds from tomatoes even if you do not peel them. Peel (optional) the tomatoes and chop finely, then add. Wash and strip cilantro leaves, then mince and add. Add salt, white pepper, ground cumin, hot sauce and Cayenne to taste. Mix ingredients by mashing with the back of a fork. Avoid over mixing and keep texture on the chunky side. Adjust seasonings to taste (remember this will marry up for one hour). Add the juice from the strained tomato seeds if mixture is too thick. Finish the mixing and transfer to a serving dish. Press plastic wrap onto the surface of the mix to avoid oxidation. Chill for one to four hours before serving.

Decorate with a tomato rose and sprigs of the cilantro leaves.

DO NOT add any mayonnaise or sour cream to this, you will ruin it.

Important note:

However you make it, serve Guacamole with yellow corn chips. For best results, deep fry your own yellow corn chips and serve warm. Excellent as a topping for Flautas, Tostadas and Tacos.

Timesaver Hint:

Omit many steps by using a small can of Herdez brand Salsa Casera.

If you are in a hurry, follow the steps below.

Drain the salsa prior to use and add slowly to avocado mix. Check for flavor and heat while adding the drained salsa. Reserve juice from drained salsa to control the body of the final mix. Add the crushed garlic and spices to taste. Cover as shown above and chill before serving. Be sure to allow ingredients to marry up for at least 1/2 hour. You will have a good measure of heat from the salsa, so beware!

[Skywatcher]

This started as a simple recipe my mom created with kippers, parmesan cheese and macaroni. I’ve altered it over the past decade into my GF’s favorite.

1 16 lb. box pasta shells
2 small cans tuna
1 can mackerel
1 package imatation crab meat (canned crab can be used)
2 cans sliced black olives
2 large cans sliced mushrooms
8-10 oz. mozzarella cheese, shredded
15 oz. ricotta cheese
2 tbs. butter or margarine

While pasta is cooking, drain olives & mushrooms into small pot. Melt in butter and mozzarella; other things can be added to the liquid such as jalapeño sauce, balsamic vinegar, and hot honey mustard.

Add fish, crab, olives, and mushrooms to cooked pasta, followed by butter/mozzarella base, then the ricotta cheese. The result is my dinner for 5 days.

[Skywatcher]

Don’t forget to mix all ingredients before serving.

[Omniscient]

Scylla, you marinate my Filet, or cook it in a frying pan and I will grab you by the scruff of the neck and drown you in your marinade!

Lightly salted, or a good dry rub, grilled medium rare, and occasionally served with melted garlic butter. Anything else is a travesty.